abetterfuture
Full Member
Moving forward the best I can.
Posts: 166
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Post by abetterfuture on Dec 10, 2007 0:20:50 GMT -5
Ok, so I have found myself falling back hard and acting out more than usual. I'm lonely and stressed, but that is no excuse. I believed the lies and wanted to act out and that is the only reason I can go on.
I want to come back to the light and I want to continue recovery. I can do this, but I am fighting such a battle right now.
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abetterfuture
Full Member
Moving forward the best I can.
Posts: 166
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Post by abetterfuture on Dec 11, 2007 13:14:35 GMT -5
Well I guess this is Day 2 and I feel pretty worthless that I have to fight on day 2. Before I could make it a few weeks and now every day is a struggle. I am telling myself every morning that I will not under any circumstances look at p or mb.
I will make it through today - I can do this.
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Post by slamdunk on Dec 11, 2007 17:04:32 GMT -5
Hi abf,
just want to offer support and solidarity during this time of trial. There is no shame at all in having to fight this thing on day two, nor on day twenty-two or whenever. My recovery, from day one has been a pro-active and fully conscious mindset. If it helps, I made a recent post titled, 'I am not my addiction' (think it's in the general forum, probably on p2 by now) where I tried to explain this.
Keep strong, Slam.
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abetterfuture
Full Member
Moving forward the best I can.
Posts: 166
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Post by abetterfuture on Dec 15, 2007 1:03:24 GMT -5
Thanks for the response slamdunk - it helps me to see that other people are supporting me here.
Anyway, my recovery as of lately has been not very much recovery. It is as if I have given up and don't want to put any work into getting through this. I have acted out way more than before.
I'm not sure why I came here tonight, just typed the link in the browser I guess.
My motivation is low right now and I don't really see a way through this all.
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