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Post by MJ on Feb 17, 2007 8:12:55 GMT -5
Hey Mountain, Just wanted to offer your my support. I hear ya when you talk about covering up a lot of your feelings because you don't want the pain. I'm sick of this crap too. Let's keep going, okay? Your friend, MJ
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Post by Mountain on May 24, 2007 9:42:27 GMT -5
I am starting over again
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Post by Mountain on May 24, 2007 9:47:51 GMT -5
Yes I am starting over again. I am still not ready to give up this fight. I had a number of good days going for me again but I once again played with fire and got burnt.
This is a new day. I know I can do this. I am re commiting to be clean for today and also be more active on the board. I have not been very active at all as of late. I need to do a lot more reading and some posting. I also need to get back into my prayers and scripture reading.
Today is going to be a good day.
Mountain.
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Post by mogul4 on May 24, 2007 10:18:45 GMT -5
Mountain,
Recovery takes a lot of work and a lot of honesty. I am in the same boat as you, and I am realizing more and more that I lie to myself a lot. A LOT! I guess we all like to avoid uncomfortable emotions, situations, work, social events, etc. I am not saying that that is what you do, I am just posting my latest thoughts in your journal . . . I hope you don't mind. Feel free to erase them if you do. Anyway, when I want to avoid things I don't want to think, do, or feel, the porn neuropathaway takes over. It's comfortable, it's exciting (at least initially), and stimulating. I can wash my brain in the dopamine release that occurs when I act out. So exciting! At least momentarily.
I think your idea of reading your scriptures and praying more is a good idea. Not just because those activities will help you feel the Spirit, but also because you will be replacing some activities of dubious worth with ones that are very positive.
Best to you in recovery,
mogul4
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Post by Mountain on Jul 25, 2007 22:12:07 GMT -5
I am back
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Post by Mountain on Jul 25, 2007 22:17:21 GMT -5
Well I am back. I need to be back and stay back. I have been on off on off on off for a while. I have been very inconsistent with the site and it shows in my life.
I am not giving up but I am at it again. My struggle has really effected my life. I have been very stressed at work and have been very unproductive. Not just stuck on Porn all the time but just having a hard time being motivated. I am not sure how much I am going to post but I do need do some reading.
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Post by changingmyways on Jul 26, 2007 8:21:40 GMT -5
I was wondering how you was doing since I havent heard from you in awhile. Make sure you stay proactive and do your reading and learn from what triggered you.
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Post by Mountain on Aug 7, 2007 9:19:51 GMT -5
I have committing to be clean for 30 days. I am working on this. Today is Day 1!!
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Post by Mountain on Aug 7, 2007 9:20:17 GMT -5
I am committing to be clean for 30 days..
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Post by Mountain on Aug 8, 2007 11:40:14 GMT -5
Today is Day 2. I am doing well today and it will be a good day.
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Post by Mountain on Aug 17, 2007 17:45:37 GMT -5
I am still clean and going strong. I am on day 11! today
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Post by Mountain on Aug 18, 2007 19:58:54 GMT -5
Still moving along in a positive way. I am on day 12. I am just about to 2 weeks again.
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Post by Mountain on Aug 20, 2007 10:33:25 GMT -5
2 weeks today!!!!
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Post by Mountain on Aug 21, 2007 14:37:58 GMT -5
15 days today!
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Post by Mountain on Aug 23, 2007 17:31:33 GMT -5
17 days and moving forward. I feel I am doing well.
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