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Post by Mountain on Jan 1, 2007 2:14:07 GMT -5
Well it has been a few days... I have been out of town for the holidays and done very little on the net. It is now new years where I am and I was just checking in. I wanted to go to be early tonight but that did not happen. I did not think I had Internet either on my laptop but while I was loading a CD my brother gave me before going to sleep I checked my wireless again and it worked. So I ended up here on the site.
All has been going well for the most part. I do not really have a hard time when I am out of town with family. To much going on and not as easy to get into trouble. I had a hard time before I left. I was testing my self with Youtube crap again. I did not get into nude stuff at all or MB but I was on the wire. I had a good chat with my wife about it and plan to stay away. I like the site but I do better if i am not there with out someone around. I also waste a lot of time that I could be doing something else like working reading or anything more productive.
I am excited about the new year. I have not put all my goals down yet but I plan to over the next week.
It is nice to have times in live for a new start in a way.
I am going to bed now. I have a 10-12 hr drive with the fam tomorrow and we are not packed yet...
May the Lord bless me with a great 2007 is my prayer.
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Post by MJ on Jan 1, 2007 11:33:10 GMT -5
Hey Mountain, Thanks for checking in. Glad to hear that everything's going okay. Best wishes for the new year! ---MJ
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Post by Mountain on Jan 3, 2007 18:31:47 GMT -5
Thanks MJ.
I am checking in today at 6 weeks... The battle is still on and we are doing ok. The temptations are still here and strong.
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Post by Mountain on Jan 5, 2007 3:35:50 GMT -5
Well back to Square one. I messed up today and tonight. Now I need to pick up and move on again. I just hit 6 weeks but I was playing with fire and I got burnt again.
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Post by Mountain on Jan 8, 2007 13:30:15 GMT -5
I am at day 3 clean and moving forward again. I had a good chat with my wife. I hate telling her. I just hate disapointing her. She was ok and very supportive. Last night she got the CE report and told me this morning she was pretty sad. I guess it is one thing to talk about it and the other when you see the report.
I am trying to put that behind me and move on and forward.
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Post by Mountain on Jan 9, 2007 1:21:31 GMT -5
Still feeling good. Just thought I would post
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Post by dj2005 on Jan 9, 2007 1:49:55 GMT -5
hey mountain- great job getting back up and running with your recovery. that's what it takes.
dj
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Post by Mountain on Jan 23, 2007 14:24:33 GMT -5
Well it has been a few days... I have not spent much time on the site lately. Not that I don't need it. I just need to plan the time I spend here and stick to that as well.
I am doing good. Yesterday, I started down a slippery slope but did not go there. I am determined to stay away from that. It is weird because I seem to have a heard time the day after having a great time intimately with my wife which does not make sense to me. I think I should be satisfied and not even have the craving for this crap.
I have been working with a personal coach with my health and leadership goals etc. This is also helping me in this dark side of my life. It is amazing how the web of my life is tied together and where I am weak in area and how they tie to other things etc.
I am felling pretty good at the moment. I am kinda somber but that is OK. I am excited about the future and conquering this Mountain in my life.
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Post by tomlincolnsixecho on Jan 23, 2007 17:40:32 GMT -5
Hey mountain
Keep it going.......I know how destructive Youtube is.....So I have stopped myself using it all together. Banned myself from it. I'm now starting to get some numbers up.
Hang in there and keep fighting.
TL6E
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Post by Mountain on Feb 6, 2007 12:26:08 GMT -5
Well it is time to get active on the board again and to post in my journal. It has been a while. I have done a little but not like when I started. I am on day 1 today but I am going to hit that 100days and move on. I can not wait to get another week behind me etc.
I know all the right things to do and just need to do them do them now!
I am glad I have a place to come to and express my feeling about all this and read what others feel as well.
I am so sick of these chains of HELL.
I love my family, and I love my God and I am going to succeed!
Thank you to all of you who have given me support.
Mountain.
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Post by MJ on Feb 6, 2007 17:08:11 GMT -5
Hey Mountain, Glad to see your post. ---MJ
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Post by Mountain on Feb 10, 2007 2:27:58 GMT -5
Well I thought I should get on and post. I read some good things tonight and saw some things that made me sad. It is sad to see others struggling with this crap.
I have been OK for the last few days. I am on my way back up the hill. I was a bit tempted tonight because My wife is sleeping at her moms with her sisters for a little fun. I am tired and remembered that I had the codes changed reset on the cable and I could test if I wanted to. i decided to crack my laptop open and come to the board.
I think I will be OK and make it through the night just fine. It is times like these when I do make it that I get stronger.
I have been a bit stressed out at work. i have so much to do but just can not get motivated all the time like I need. I waste way too much time and I know it will hurt me later. I am in sales and I need to keep things going all the time. My addiction to P has really caused me problems in my career. I think of where I would be now if I never got into this crap. I would be in a very different situation. I am not saying that I am not happy with my wonderful Wife and 5 children. I am not saying I am in bad situation financially. I am just saying I would have been so much better in my professional life and personal. I have not given up and do not think it is to late either. I will get there. I will get to the top of this Mountain.
Right now it is time for me to get in bed.
So long for now.
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Post by Mountain on Feb 13, 2007 19:56:09 GMT -5
I am still doing well
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Post by Mountain on Feb 16, 2007 1:58:03 GMT -5
Still here. Today I tested that waters to much and crossed the line. I had to start again from day one. I did not do much but it was still over the line.
I am ok. Just need to keep going and keep from letting that door open again.
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Post by Mountain on Feb 17, 2007 1:18:17 GMT -5
Not sure how to put words on how I feel right now. I think I am covering up a lot of my feelings because I do not want the pain. I just can not get a good track going again. I am going to get one. I am sick of this crap.
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