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Post by belikejob on Jun 15, 2006 0:03:35 GMT -5
80 Days!!! People have gone around the world in the time that I've stayed away from p and mb ... corny... I know Wife is away with mother-in-law. Home alone for 2 days It's ok... feeling confident with the Lord's help. BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jun 18, 2006 1:09:22 GMT -5
I started a Christian support thread today... lightwave.proboards48.com/index.cgi?board=addicts&action=display&thread=1150605936I really hope that this will be a good thing. I hope people will be able to support each other, give each other encouragement, and pray for each other. I'm sure it's possible that there are people on this board that may be intimidated about speaking their hearts concerning the Lord and the scriptures in the bible that are there to help with temptation. Hopefully, this thread will help take some of that intimidation away.... Then again who knows. Maybe no one will write on it at all... I mean after all, this is a pretty taboo subject in the church today anyway. No one ever wants to talk about it. No one wants to be honest about their struggles. Um... hello... everyone struggles with sin. Even Christians! Yep that's right. We're not perfect and anyone who clams to be is lying to others and themselves. We ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Lord, please bless this thread. Please help for us to glorify you in all we say and do. Please strengthen us and help us to run away from temptation. BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jun 19, 2006 14:42:55 GMT -5
Day 85- and all is well...
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Post by belikejob on Jun 21, 2006 20:26:44 GMT -5
Things on the Christian thread are going great... so is the lifetime/1000 day threads. I spend more time on those then my journal. I think it's important to try and find new ways to help out others in their struggles, but I also have to make sure that I don't become relaxed in my OWN struggles and the things that I have to do to stay away from sin.
I talked to my wife the other day and she said she thinks that I've started spending too much time on the computer. It's funny that I'm not doing anything wrong on here, but she feels that way... well, I thought about it and she's right. I'm gonna get on here less, but I'm still gonna try and keep up with the lists that I'm keeping track of. I guess spending too much time with almost anything can be unhealthy for a marriage/yourself, etc.
I've hit day 87. Thank you Lord.
BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jun 30, 2006 16:30:28 GMT -5
I'm back from my trip for work. Things went well. I'm at 96 days now. Only 4 days away from my first goal Then 1,000 days... then a lifetime (with maybe a few small goals in between) BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jul 4, 2006 13:35:38 GMT -5
Day 100 Thank you Jesus!!! ;D Please help me to never go back. Thanks also to all of you on this board who have helped me with your kind words and wisdom. BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jul 6, 2006 0:40:11 GMT -5
I've had a really hard day today... full of triggers. I feel so beat down. I hate days like this. I feel so weak.... sigh. Please Lord clear my mind and help me push forward... Good Night BeLikeJob
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Post by jake123 on Jul 6, 2006 1:10:48 GMT -5
Sending good thoughts your way! And thank you for what you bring to this board. We may always have some hard days and triggers. I am sorry you were having one BUT you posted about it, asked for help and took care of yourself. Good for you. You know, after we hit certain milestones on a road of recovery sometimes we get tempted more. I have obviously noticed this in AA recovery since I am struggling at day 0 here now. But anyway, we reach a goal and are happy and grateful..then there is a little 'let down' kind of. Don't give it much power. On the other hand, the temptation part..I think God is reminding us how powerless we are! and to stick close to Him. Keep steppin', Congrats on 100+ "days at a time". Truly a miracle, with your hard work (Willingness) completing the partnership. Take good care, we'll always be human and weak to make sure we don't forget who God is, just my opinion. I hope you wake to a great morning. --jake
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Post by belikejob on Jul 7, 2006 14:31:38 GMT -5
Thanks Jake... I'm doing better today. It's really an eye opener how close you can come in an instant to failure and throw away everything you have learned and practiced up to that point. Lust is always coming around trying to rear it's ugly head at the times that you least expect it. I have not looked at p or mb. However, I always have to remind myself of Job's covenant that he would not look at a girl lustfully. We all can sit here all day and debate on what is lust EXACTLY... but I think you KNOW when you feel it... it's that little feeling inside you that you know shouldn't be there. I think that's harder then just not looking at p or mb. The opportunity to lust is all around you everyday... internet, tv, gym, or even just driving down the road. Please help me to keep lust out of my life Lord.
BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jul 10, 2006 0:21:16 GMT -5
Ending day 105. I'm going to make my next goal, 200 days. I really want to get better at bouncing my eyes from things that may cause me to lust and/or get triggered to act out. I feel like I'm sort of at a stand still in my recovery. I'm not looking at p or mb, but I don't feel like my thoughts/habits (bouncing the eyes) are changing in the direction I would like. I'm also going to start back up on the setting the captives free course. After I got back from my two week trip for work I never picked it back up. Hopefully it will help me to stay strong in the good fight.
BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jul 10, 2006 2:25:44 GMT -5
I just got finished going back and reading through my journal from beginning to end. Wow... talk about a kick in the butt! I need to do that more often... To look back and remember why I'm here, and where I came from. It also reminds me of the goals that I set for myself. It was really something to read about the times when I was at my best and there was fire in my eyes , and the times when I was at my lowest and to remember how I felt at those times. It feels like a long time has gone by since I joined this website... but it's only been a little over 3 months (105 days sounds like a lot more huh?) I'm just a baby in the world of addiction recovery and I've got a long way to go. It's a challenge to stay motivated everyday to fight the good fight. I'm a pretty lazy guy at times and part of me just wants to sit back and let this thing go away on it's own... been there, done that. I know how far that gets me. Gotta stay focused. BeLikeJob
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Post by witness on Jul 10, 2006 13:39:36 GMT -5
I was just reading through your journal. I'm old enough to be your father. Wish I had done this back when I was your age. Whatever you do, don't give up! You don't want this addiction to follow you for a lifetime.
I like your lists of what is off limits. Those certainly apply to me.
I've been here for 8 months now. Had a slip about 4 months ago and am having trouble again the past couple of days. And I know why. I allowed myself to do/view some of the things that are on your "off limits list".
I want to encourage you to never cross that line. If you will keep that strong bottom line you should do fine. Glad to see things are going better with your wife. If you want some good sites for couples let me know and I'll recommend a couple.
May God bless you, me and everyone else here in our journey to freedom!
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Post by belikejob on Jul 10, 2006 18:42:03 GMT -5
Thanks for the post witness. Sure I'd love to see some of those sites. Yeah I know I'm young... but I guess you can never be too young to stop looking at this garbage I'll definitely take your advice... Lord willing, I want it out of my life for good! Have you made any kind of off limits list for yourself yet? At first I didn't want to make one because I didn't want looking at those things to set me back to zero... I think it's possible to look at some of the things on my list and still not "slip", but I know that those things have caused me to slip in the past, so I just don't go near them unless it's for a specific thing... i.e. Search myspace for name of exact person, or look on youtube for a particular jazz musician that I want to watch. There can be good ways of using some of the things that have triggered me in the past... but I know myself, and sometimes I'm not that strong that I can just do my business and leave... a lot of times curiosity gets the best of me. I don't know, maybe I should have two separate lists... and 'trigger list' and a 'slip list'. Things on the trigger list I'll avoid or use cation around, and the slip list will be the things that set me back to zero. Ok.. I'm thinking out loud now hahaha. God bless you too witness. Stay Strong. BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jul 10, 2006 18:53:14 GMT -5
Hey look at that... I guess that was my first "Senior Member" post. Ooooooohh... Aaaaaaaaahh It seems just like the other day I was trying to figure out what the heck all this stuff meant- -SO -P -MB -bump -triggers -HP -SA -PA Thank God for this place. BeLikeJob
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Post by witness on Jul 10, 2006 21:25:26 GMT -5
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