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Post by nurlond on Oct 27, 2005 15:54:50 GMT -5
Lately I have read a lot of posts by members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As a member of that church, I have been working with my bishop since the age of 11 on MB and P. I gain much support from reading about others who have similar experiences. My heart aches for those who have bad experiences with a bishop or stake president. I have started this thread to allow us to share uplifting experiences, tips, scriptures, quotations, conference talks, etc. Or to share what has helped us as we fight this addiction in a church where a lot of members don't understand what it means to be truly addicted to pornography. Or just as a place to be open about our religious perspective on P, MB, repentance, forgiveness, family, whatever. Of course, anyone is welcome to read and post here. So I'll get things started by posting a few things that have been helpful for me. BYU Speeches of the Year: Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments by Jeffrey R. Holland (president of BYU when he gave this speech) This is an excellent talk about the sacredness of human intimacy. A must read for all LDS individuals, especially those struggling with chastity issues. It has change my entire perspective. Conference Talks:The Sanctity of Womanhood by Elder Richard G. ScottHonoring the Priesthood by Bishop H. David BurtonThe Challenge to Become by Elder Dallin H. OaksThe Joy of Womanhood by Sister Margaret B. Nadauld"Sanctify Yourselves" by Elder Jeffrey R. HollandBringing Peace and Healing to Your Soul by Elder Dale E. Miller[/color] BYU Cyber Secrets Talks (available in audio and HTML for 2001 and 2003) That's all for now. I'll post more as I think of things. I hope this thread blesses your life and brings you closer to God. May we through the grace of Christ win the victory over the flesh, is my prayer, TA
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Post by ladybug71 on Oct 27, 2005 17:45:19 GMT -5
I heard on another board that the LDS church is coming out with a new addiction recovery pamphlet, based on the 12 step program but adapted to include LDS doctrine. I asked a councilor at LDS Family Services about this and he confirmed that this rumor is true. He said that when the pamphlet comes out, it will be the basis for LDS SA recovery groups.
I do not know anything else about it, but I'm very excited to read it. At this point, the more information about my problem and how to get over it I can soak in the better. I'm especially excited that the LDS church is taking this step to help those of us with this problem.
Just something to watch for, I guess!
lb
p.s. Thanks for all the links nurlond-I'll check them out "in my free time" (<-- ha!)
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w2bg
New Member
Just slipped after 2.5 years
Posts: 35
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Post by w2bg on Oct 27, 2005 20:40:21 GMT -5
I am LDS. There has always been a lot of LDS members on this board. Some of them are very open about it, and others are not. The Church has many excellent resources for dealing with an addiction to pornography.
Victor Cline is also LDS. I would strongly recommend reading anything he has written on the subject. He is widely quoted by General Authorities on the topic.
Gordon B. Hinckley has left little doubt that this type of problem should be confessed to your bishop. If you are a bishop, then it should be confessed to a stake president, etc.
The biggest step for me overcoming this addition was a face to face confession to my wife and priesthood leader.
Good luck in experiencing your "mighty change of heart".
Todd aka want2Bgood
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Post by cogito on Oct 28, 2005 20:52:27 GMT -5
Thanks so much nurlord for those links.
I have listen to some of the BYU Cyber Secrets talks, and they are really good. I will have to read those talks, from their titles, they seem like they would be great. I will hopefull have some time this weekend to do it.
I think a LDS recovery pamphlet would be really. And I think the idea of a LDS SA group would be good. I have been trying to figure out if I should go to another SA group, but I would feel more confortable with a LDS one.
Cogito
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Post by vaporlock on Oct 29, 2005 0:37:57 GMT -5
I'd like to see that pamphelet, too. Might there be a PDF somewhere? I don't agree with many of the major tennants of LDS... but help is help. If it works, then, its good.
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Post by nurlond on Oct 29, 2005 8:39:44 GMT -5
An LDS SA group, I think, would be great. And it would be a major step of recovery because I would have to really humble myself to go. Because if I went to an LDS SA group in my area, there is a very high chance that everyone at the meeting would already know each other. Opening up to a group of people I already know would be a huge step.
I went to a SA counseling group at BYU, and it took some guts to walk into the room. Especially since as I was standing about 15 feet from the room, I saw a guy I know walk in. I almost didn't go in because of it, but I was like, if he can do it, so can I. I walk in and there were a total of 3 men in the room I already knew. Talk about a surprise!! And I must say there was definitely a surprised look on their faces when they greeted me. But that was a huge step for me. And then the help I received in that group that summer has been an incredible help to me since. I'm glad I got up the courage to go through that door two and a half years ago.
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Post by nurlond on Oct 29, 2005 8:41:01 GMT -5
By the way, I just realized a rather funny coincidence: LDSSA = Latter-day Saint Student Association at most colleges. LDS SA would have a totally different meaning for us.....
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Post by ladybug71 on Oct 31, 2005 12:31:11 GMT -5
I have only been to the LDS SA in my area a couple of times, but like you said Nurlond, the first time was the hardest, and for exactly the reasons you said: I was afraid of meeting people in my ward who I knew. "After all, I've held leadership positions in my ward-what would people think" was going through my head.
As a matter of fact, I did meet one guy there who I knew. However, he turned out to be very sympathetic to me and set me very much at ease. He and I don't talk about the meetings or the SA problem outside that group, but whenever I see him, it is a reminder to keep trying. A silent source of strength, if you will.
That is part of what makes this problem so difficult I think. You want to keep it a secret because you think "good LDS people just don't DO this kind of stuff-I must be a freak!" You are afraid of what others would say about you if they found out all the nasty stuff you've seen and the ways in which you've acted out.
My stake recently did a fireside on avoiding and overcoming pornography. One of the speakers said that they were afraid that they'd host the fireside, but have nobody show up because people would be afraid that showing up might be perceived as an admission of guilt. However, he was saying that to a packed chapel. I am sure that not everybody there had P problems, but I am also sure that a good number of us did. I am so glad to have our stake making efforts to address the problem/offer help, and to have some resources in my area to draw on, like the LDS SA support group.
I'm also very grateful to this board. We may be strangers, but maybe not as strange as we think.
Thanks all, lb
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Post by ladybug71 on Oct 31, 2005 12:33:37 GMT -5
By the way, I do not know any more about the LDS 12 step pamphlet then what I said. It is apparently coming, but is not available yet.
Some guy at ldsr.org was posting parts of it, I think, but I do not know what "ins" he has that gives him access to it already, since the therapists from LDS social services that I spoke with said it was not out yet.
Let's hope it comes soon. This stuff is like water for a parched throat to me. Right now, I just can't get enough counsel and ideas to help my healing.
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Post by ladybug71 on Nov 9, 2005 14:10:38 GMT -5
I found the following 12 step program from www.heart-t-heart.org. I thought they may be useful to some (the scripture references from the BofM make for some good study - does anybody have additional Bible scriptures for each of the 12 steps???): ------------------------------------------------------------ 1. We admitted we were powerless over compulsive/addictive behaviors* -- that our lives had become unmanageable. Admitted that we of ourselves are powerless, nothing without God. (Mosiah 4:5; Alma 26:12) 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Came to believe that God has all power and all wisdom, and that in His strength we can do all things. (Mosiah 4:9; Alma 26:12) 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Made the decision to reconcile ourselves to the will of God, offer our whole souls as an offering unto Him, and trust Him in all things forever. (2 Nephi 10:24; Omni 1:26; Mosiah 3:19, 2 Nephi 4:34) 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Made a searching and fearless written inventory of our past in order to thoroughly examine ourselves as to our pride and other weaknesses, with the intent of recognizing our own carnal state and our need for Christ's Atonement. (Alma 15:17; Mosiah 4:2; Jacob 4:6-7; Ether 12:27) 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Honestly shared this inventory with God and with another person thus demonstrating the sincerity of our repentance, and our willingness to give away all our sins that we might know Him. (Mosiah 26:29; Alma 22:18) 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Became humble enough to yield our hearts and our lives to Christ for His sanctification and purification, relying wholly upon His merits, acknowledging even our own best efforts as unprofitable. (Helaman 3:35, 2 Nephi 31:19; Mosiah 2:20-21) 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Humbly cried unto the Lord Jesus Christ, in our hearts, for a remission of sins, that through His mercy and His grace we might experience a mighty change of heart, lose all disposition to do evil and thus be encircled about in the arms of safety because of His great and last sacrifice. (Alma 36:18; Alma 38:8; Moroni 10:32; Mosiah 5:2; Alma 34:15-16) 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make restitution to all of them (even those we had harmed in what we might have considered righteous anger) desiring instead to be peacemakers, and to do all that we could to come unto God by being first reconciled to our brothers. (3 Nephi 12:9; 3 Nephi 12:24; 3 Nephi 12:44-45) 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Made restitution directly to those we had harmed, confessing our own wrong doing in each instance, except when to do so would further injure them or others. (Mosiah 27:35; 3 Nephi 12:25; Mosiah 26:30) 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Realizing that the weakness to be tempted and to sin is a part of the mortal experience, we continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it, being willing to repent as often as needed. (2 Nephi 4:18; 2 Nephi 10:20; Mosiah 26:30) 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, seeking the words of Christ through the power of the Holy Ghost, that they might tell us all things that we should do, praying only for a knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. (2 Nephi 32:3; Alma 37:37; Helaman 10:4) 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others still suffering from the effects of compulsive behaviors and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Having experienced a mighty change and having awakened unto God as a result of our sincere repentance demonstrated in taking these steps, we were willing to become instruments in carrying this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (Alma 5:7; Mosiah 27:36-37; Moroni 7:3)
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Post by Covad on Nov 9, 2005 22:58:01 GMT -5
ladybug71,
Are these twelve steps sanctioned by the church or did someone else develop them?
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Post by vaporlock on Nov 9, 2005 23:14:47 GMT -5
I wonder if other churches have such an outline..... hmmmm
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Post by nurlond on Nov 10, 2005 0:09:40 GMT -5
Ladybug,
When I've got some time, I'd like to go through and look for some Bible scriptures to go along with those topics. Thanks for the post!
Tom
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Post by ladybug71 on Nov 10, 2005 8:50:23 GMT -5
Covad,
I do not believe this version of the 12 steps are officially "sanctioned" by the LDS church... they are LDS-based, but I think they were developed by the website I referenced previously.
Nonetheless, they appear to be pretty consistant with what I know of LDS beliefs and doctrine.
Best wishes, lb
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Post by SamLike on Nov 10, 2005 22:56:02 GMT -5
Hello all,
My name is SamLike and I am addicted to P and I am LDS, I am offering my service to you all. I found a good Old testement Scripture that can help us with our P adiction.
Isaah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
I believe this means we need to keep in contact with each other and the Lord.
SamLike
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