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Post by breakingfree on Dec 10, 2007 10:24:52 GMT -5
Cammy,
My experience is that the greatest of pressures, while perceived to be external, were in fact, internal-the external being used as a justificationfor feeling stressed and anxious. This justification made it easier to blame my acting out behavior on outside stressors, job, financial, Mrs. BF not wanting to be intimate. Therefore, when I screwed up, it wasn't really my fault.
I would love to have you in the Weekenders Circle.
bf
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 10, 2007 10:30:03 GMT -5
I wonder iof a misread may have occurred? DW has the stress. I got triggered off it by feeling excluded. That reaction I recognise as a maladaptive coping strategy - no doubt there. Perhaps this is the place where experiencing the emotions of others - empathy - comes into recovery. That would be cool.
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 11, 2007 10:31:49 GMT -5
Today I want to talk about furry little creatures. No relation to P in this. Mrs Cammy & I live erm, remotely. That is to say not at Bloor & Yonge - or even Portage and Main! (little inside Canadian joke there). So around us is a fair share of critters. We got deer, wild turkey, bear, fox, racoon, a few skunks and even beaver. Above are all kinds of birds and in our yard lives a big hungry owl. Because of this last one, we have had very few small critters in our yard - they don't last long lol.
But this year two mice and a bat have got into Casa Cammy. This in about one month. Been an onslaught. Maybe cause winter came with a snap andCasa Cammy is warm - if not comfortable as they soon learn. So this morning a bat is in the kitchen sink. Yuk. I'm not all squeamish and Mrs. Cammy is a stone cold killer - trust me there. But a bat in the sink? C'mon now. So I think bat be ded as sinks are atypical places to find live bats. But alack and alas bat is alive! Injured but alive. Did not like having paper towel over its head and started hissing and biting and such. Too bad about the wood dowel to the wee forenoggin! Quick toss out the glass door and we got bat popsicle.
I wonder what happened to Mr. Owl?
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 14, 2007 11:15:43 GMT -5
Things so far are going OK re urges. Had a couple nger pop ups. Today at office - DW & I share space - they kept asking DW why parking area not salted plowed etc. Off we go to buy salt. I go b/c shge is going and being 8+ mo prgenant cannot lift 40 kilo bags of anything. Now DW & I have talked/fought about boundaries. Why is it then that she runs off to get salt for as bunch of steelworkers when she is 8+ mopnths pregnant? WTF?
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 14, 2007 11:17:32 GMT -5
OK that one is out. Next thing - how can I help her with this? I worry she might implode after baby born and EVERYBODY will be after her time. Ask C.
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Post by LookingUp on Dec 15, 2007 9:36:27 GMT -5
Mr. LU said Bloor and Yonge were well endowed with wild creatures! I say the best advantage of remote Canada is the distance from the 401. We take our stuffed moose, Prudence, on vacation so she can wave at other drivers who are waiting hour after hour in traffic jams.
LookingUp
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 17, 2007 11:06:01 GMT -5
Mr. LU is correct. LOL. I have been where you say you are LU. The road had been newly created to allow access to the fishing town. First person in must have been a freezer salesman as everybody had a new one on their porch. The cleaning station was outside, under a roof. It was there I saw creatures for sure and for certain bye.
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 17, 2007 11:19:06 GMT -5
Cammy, hows the anger quotient today? I have a sinus infection and severe congestion but I'm not mad about anything. I am however in a perpetual state of irrationality. I see you object to irrationality but rational thinking got me screwed up so I'll walk this path for now.
Oh and note to BF--"Got carried away" I did get carried away once but I escaped. I think we overlook the value of humor in our recovery, I guess I should say appropriate humor? ? ?
You guys are trying and that's all any of us can do--one day at a time.
Say, heard any "good" questions raised here lately?
Have a GREAT DAY! We're worth it!
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 17, 2007 11:28:22 GMT -5
Hi CV, thanks for dropping by. I have counsellor time today so I mull over these things that made me angry in the past two weeks. So I have an introspective anger? ? My big blow up was with DW and her boundaries. You can read above. In some wayts I felt good aboiut recognising it (empathy). In other ways felt bad about not worrying about all the crapo I have to address - what's so good about me syndrome. Strange how confidence swoons whenlife is turned upside down no? This what your irrationality/emotiony feely stuff does to me!!!!!! Now I know nothing. You have a GREAT DAY too.
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 17, 2007 14:27:37 GMT -5
Cammy, . Dude, she is 8 months pregnant- you are expecting sane, rational behavior from a 8 month pregnant woman with TOTALLY out of control, raging hormones, lugging the equivalent of a bowling ball around strapped to her stomach in the middle of freezing ass Canada?
BTW, we don't have bad weather here on Desolation Row-only bad attitudes.
Oh, and we don't got no stinkin colleges here either.
My very best to you and Mrs. Cammy
bf
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 17, 2007 15:45:33 GMT -5
Thanks BF. Nice work on that weekenders thing. I note your humourous reply to my entries. Appreciated.
Saw C. We chat about things like baby coming, how DW is managing with all that. Odd guy C. I make the point that DW is a highly capable woman. He wonders if she can handle it? I say yes, with help like anybody else. He wonders really? It was like he was trying to undermine my view of her. This is odd cause I worry about her, participate in stuff - baby classes - listen to concerns, chat about bubba all the time. Point is there is no there, there. So why try to chgange my view of her? I am asking the wrong person.
Thanks C.
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 17, 2007 16:08:51 GMT -5
Noticed four locked threads today. None of them got my goat. This is progress.
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 17, 2007 16:42:03 GMT -5
Tiger is riding the range today, guns drawn. I was in the process of responding to one of them when Tiger locked it. my problem is I go back and read them again, getting pissed off again, or more progressivley pissed off. Sometimes I wonder if some days I am just looking for a fight.
bf
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 17, 2007 16:49:15 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder if some days I am just looking for a fight. bf Sometimes? I have no such doubts. All those external stressors. I'm feeling them today. I have a sinus infection and at my house my son-in-law is doing some sheetrock work for me. OH the dust-----------is-----------going-------------to---------------------kill me when I get home. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG rant over.
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cammy
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Post by cammy on Dec 18, 2007 11:07:04 GMT -5
Dudes. Question for you - what happened to Al? I really liked Al and haven't heard from him in awhile - I hope he is well. Hey BF - somedays you are just looking for a fight. If it helps, I'm all good with that. I really did hurt my back shovelling snow. It ticks me off cause I try to keep reasonably fit - I used to box even. But nooooooooo, I am all seized up. So moving a little slower. Used muscle relaxants to help. Did I ever get stoned. Have cut back to one pill only. Sacrifice - I am very, very sore. Unable to sleep, time for more muscle relaxants. DW tells me she is feeling ill - may require hospital trip? ? Bad spaghetti? So I take tylenol instead thus allowing me to drive car if need be. Geez, It sounds kinda whimpy now that I write it down. BUT in the moment, I was freaking hercules.
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