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Post by sawyer on Jul 5, 2007 19:47:44 GMT -5
You can't walk forward without tripping over something if you are constantly looking over your shoulder. So kudos for not beating yourself up on things in the past.
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 12, 2007 17:29:56 GMT -5
Thanks Sawyer- yes, that is one thing I think I've learned in my recent struggle.... keep looking to the future and learning from the past but not letting regrets eat me up.
I'm back but busy as heck and I STILL don't have my laptop back so probably won't hear much from me for a couple more days- gotta go p/u the kids tonight.
Been too busy for any real temptation- hopefully the book I ordered on procrastination will come in since that is my next place to focus.
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 16, 2007 17:53:46 GMT -5
Still rolling along at 100 MPH.... computer isn't back yet so it is difficult to post as much. Things are going well and I'm trying hard to keep taking care of myself better.
Stayed very focused at work Sat morning, biked, swam with the kids, got some stuff done in the yard this weekend.... only downfall was watching the Tour De France until too late Sat and Sun and didn't get enough sleep... I'll take that for now as my worst vice :-)
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 19, 2007 18:43:17 GMT -5
7:30 and I'm still at work and the wife and kids are out of town- this used to be a recipe for wandering down the wrong road, so I first check in with everyone here and will keep things going and keep productive. Got my computer back today and need to set that up, so won't be hanging out long here, need to get back to work.
A couple friends slipped over the last week- all just a normal part of recovery and I wish them, and you some extra positive energy in your life to overcome when you need to.... we all find that energy in different places so open yourself up to it and go find it if needed. Get on your bike, read something inspirational, go for that swim/surf even if the waves suck, write to that friend you've been putting off, meditate, help that elderly neighbor, go for a walk... do what you need to do but do something positive.
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Post by sawyer on Jul 19, 2007 23:13:00 GMT -5
Hey man, careful about setting up that computer while wife and kids are gone. May want to wait until they return?
Know your busy, but thankful you are making efforts to check in.
Stay the course and keep writing.
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Post by breakfree53 on Jul 21, 2007 16:03:02 GMT -5
Hey Focused I have just finished reading your entire journal. It was really encouraging to read. You reminded me of myself when you talked about procrastination-it's one of my weaknesses too. I hope you find the book really helpful. At the moment like you I have some catching up to do in my work situation- a lot of paper work. I find it hard to organize myself constructively -I am trying to face this one right now. Today I am going to face my paperwork and begin catching up. The next few weeks are going to be full on for me. Keep at it my friend you are doing well. I appreciate your honesty regarding your own slips. Thank you. Hang on in there Breakfree
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 23, 2007 22:25:21 GMT -5
Thanks guys-
As usual I appreciate you checking in. Still working on getting my laptop up and rolling and just got my internet connection going. Haven't set my filter up yet and will probably wait until I'm not so tired (it's 11:30 and my wife and I just finished watching the Tour De France..... Contador and Rasmussen were monsters again today.... nice to see Vino kick some tail today also!)
Things are still busy but I finally feel like progress on starting to catch up and had a great weekend with my family- lots of time with the kids and my wife and I seem to be figuring out how to have fun together again.
Wish I had more time to write but feel some responsibility to catch up with some other's journals and our accountability circle.... and need to get some sleep soon!
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 25, 2007 17:21:25 GMT -5
Not much to mention today- still on a good positive roll- although a frustrating day today where I didn't see a lot of progress on catching up even though not many appts set up.
I forgot to mention the other day that, when my wife was out of town that I stayed up and watched TV until 2 AM..... didn't watch anything especially P related (I'm not usually a TV watcher and only had it on until the Tour ended at 11 and just kept watching). I know this is all related to my procrastination, P and lack of focus. It comes down to lack of just being able do what I need to do sometimes... need to find some more discipline somewhere and will try to not hesitate next time to turn the TV off as soon as what I'm watching goes off.
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Post by sawyer on Jul 25, 2007 22:34:14 GMT -5
I know this sounds like a STUPIDLY simplistic answer - but do you work with a Dayrunner or PDA? I know my problem w/ procrastination often is not from being lazy but my inability to focus because of my ADD. So I let the chaos of where to start first prevent me from going. I very rarely use the scheduling piece of my Dayrunner. But being able to write a list everyday of what I am to be doing (work and personal) and write priority next to each item (i.e. A important, B less important, etc) helps tremendously.
As for at home, the baby actually helped me there - forces routine, which helps.
Like I said, stupidly simplistic answers - but just threw them out there anyway.
Keep moving forward!
Sawyer.
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 27, 2007 8:02:49 GMT -5
Thanks for the idea on prioritizing Sawyer. Yes, that is part of the solution I've been getting the immediate stuff done but that isn't always the priority stuff. I took Stephen Covey's 7 Habits course about 10 yrs ago (it was very helpful on many fronts- especially for listening skills) and it would be helpful to review how to get the important stuff into my schedule.
Today I'm working from home without the family around. It will be a good test for how much progress I've made- let's hope for at least a B+. Back to work
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Post by breakfree53 on Jul 28, 2007 16:38:04 GMT -5
Hi Focused Hang on in there!
It’s great that you are heading in the right direction.
It seems that you, Sawyer and I have common procrastination issues in our lives which can be the cause of slipping. I do use checklists but tend to stop looking at them allowing the most pressing things to be faced first. I like Sawyer’s checklist idea-it works if I can systematically look at it daily.
I like what you said in a few postings ago about making little changes in our lives to help us move forward and to keep making changes in our lives. I like that philosophy. I am trying to apply slowly that same principle in my life.
You talked about watching TV til 2.00 a.m. saying:
“I know this is all related to my procrastination, P and lack of focus. It comes down to lack of just being able do what I need to do sometimes... need to find some more discipline somewhere and will try to not hesitate next time to turn the TV off as soon as what I'm watching goes off.”
I have experienced this myself on a number of occasions. I can identify with you on this one. You just have to see this as a “stubbing your little toe” experience and move on.
How’s your biking going? How’s the surfing going as well? It sounds you have really cruisy life style with no problems (lol)…I am only joking.
I found an interesting excerpt related to thinking …for some reason it has touched me in my thinking ...it may not be of any significance to you but it may be helpful:
The Importance Of Good Thinking The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways. - Proverbs 14:8 NIV
In his book As A Man Thinketh, James Allen says, "All that a man achieves or fails to achieve, is the direct result of his thoughts." Do you believe that? If you do you'll place a high value on good thinking. It will become a priority in your life. Success doesn't come by accident. You don't stumble into it then figure it out afterwards. Whether you're a businessperson, a minister, a teacher, a parent, or whatever, your level of success will increase dramatically if you place a high value on good thinking. The better your thinking, the better your prospects in life. Playwright Victor Hugo said, "A small man is made up of small thoughts." People who don't develop and practice good thinking usually find themselves at the mercy of circumstances - or other people's thoughts. They're unable to solve problems. They find themselves facing the same obstacles over and over. And because they don't think ahead they're habitually in reaction mode. An old German proverb says, "Better an empty purse than head." Good thinkers overcome difficulties, including lack of resources. And generally, poor thinkers are at the mercy of good thinkers. Ponder these words: "Capital isn't so important. Experience isn't either. You can get both these things. What's important is ideas. If you have ideas you have the main asset you need, and there isn't any limit to what you can do with your life." Solomon writes: "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Pr 23:7). And the good news is - it's not too late for you to become a good thinker!
Breakfree
PS It's really great that you are having improved/greater family times. You are on nthe right track with your children being young.
Hang on in there ...stories like yours motivate people like me and many others to create better changes in our lives.
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Focused
Full Member
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it- Goethe
Posts: 149
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Post by Focused on Jul 30, 2007 20:36:01 GMT -5
Breakfree- thanks for the ideas! That was probably very good timing for me to read the part about taking time to think.... the last couple years after buying our business I've been in mostly a "do" mode 60-70+ a week.... my dad reminded me tonight that I probably need to start making a plan for how to get out of having to "do" so much and getting other employees involved more. Need to do the same personally- but it is hard to make the time when my kids and wife all seem to need a lot of time when I AM home (they try to take advantage of it- in a good way). For me, what a lot of it comes down to is becoming more disciplined and that is still a real problem.
On Fri I got very little done, but the good news is that on Sat I stayed on track and got quite a bit done.
To answer the question about keeping active, I've been doing much better. Took the time to go to the beach with the kids on Sat and got some waves in. Motivated my wife (all it takes is a suggestion for her :-)) to go for a bike ride on Sun morning and then went to the beach again- I helped a couple guys who are learning to surf and had a great time playing with my kids.
During the ride with my wife, I finally told her about some of the problems I've had with P. She knew I looked at it since she caught me looking at it a couple times (I realize how childish the word "caught" is and almost didn't use it but, unfortunately it is accurate). I was nervous that it may come out wrong or she may get pissed since I'd wasted so much time when I could've been spending it with her and the kids. She was very supportive and took the time to listen and ask some questions. She is frustrated that I have not been more focused on what I should be doing and I think is happy I'm doing something about it. She said she had noticed I had been a lot better lately and I think was big part of why she was so supportive. I got to the end of the conversation and realized I had been just talking about myself the whole time and it hit me that I hadn't apologized to her for all the wasted time (I know there are lots of other things to apologize for also) but that was at least a start. We talked about this forum and how much it has helped and I was honest when she asked if I spent a lot of time on it... that yes I had but was trying to keep my visits shorter so that this doesn't become another escape.
I'm alone with the dogs for a couple days which will be a good test.... I'll try to make sure it is a "good" test!.... and yes, I'm working on keeping my thoughts positive and keeping off cruising the internet has been a huge help for that.
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Post by gimmeshelter on Jul 30, 2007 23:03:39 GMT -5
Focused, Congrats on your continued success. You truly are in a good place, and seem to be outrunning the demons. I continue to look to your blog for discipline and ideas... Gimmeshelter
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Post by breakfree53 on Jul 31, 2007 12:20:48 GMT -5
Focused-congratulations for having the courage to tell your wife about your struggles regarding p etc. I can identify with you here. My wife knows that I have had a struggle with mb/p – I mentioned it to her a few years ago. We talk now and agin about this subject. There is a greater element of trust between her and I. Like you I find it hard to talk about my weaknesses to her –it’s a risk I take, not knowing how she will react. On the whole she has been fantastic. She’s very much into looking at the root causes of our(human beings in general) problems, is so aware of her own issues, and so is not so hard and judgmental of me-she is quite forgiving in fact.
Like you I have to work hard in the “being more disciplined” area of my life. For me I am learning to say no at times to people’s demands, take time out from activities that will wear me out so I can regain the energy and strength to face the important and most pressing things before me. In the last couple of weeks I have stayed at home most nights to de-clutter my life ,catch up with important things that I have to do to succeed at work, to think, ponder re-evaluate what I am doing with my life.
I am thinking of ways to improve my fitness-this will take a bit of re-adjusting…but I am thinking about how to do this with the busy life style I lead.
It’s interesting what you said about facing tests when you are on your own- I think the same way. I am wanting to live in such a way that I have nothing to hide from anyone regarding mb/p. I am wanting to have a clean conscience especially when on my own with no-one else around- I want to be accountable to myself as well as to others. I don’t want to pretend. I get the feeling that you think the same way.
You are doing well – I admire you for facing your weakness and moving forward.
Keep on my friend. You are heading in the right direction.
Breakree
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Post by sawyer on Aug 2, 2007 15:03:59 GMT -5
Congrats on successfully disclosing to your wife. you were very lucky for her reaction - so count your blessings . One thing that caught my attention is that she has noticed change. I say this, because at one of my lowest points in sobriety, about day 10, when I was struggling on why I was doing this my wife asked me - "what is different about you". She had seen all these changes in my that I wasn't trying to outwardly do. It was then that I realized I was going on the right path. it is encouraging when she says something like that isn't it? 60-70 hours a week at your own business. Good God, that is admirable man. Being an addict, control is usually a big issue with us even if we don't know it, so difficulty handing off to other employees does not surprise me. But your dad is right, see what you can do. One thing I started doing at my old job and I need to incorporate here is blocking out lunch by myself. I actually blocked out my lunch in my calender so I couldn't be double booked then I took a book and my lunch and read for an hour on my own just to slow down a notch. Keep at the self analysis, keep digging at the root cause, and stay honest. You are making good strides man. Hang in there. Sawyer
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