woah
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Posts: 44
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Post by woah on Dec 4, 2007 6:53:33 GMT -5
Still doing well. Its getting more stressful with school because its coming to the end and theres alot to do.
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woah
New Member
Posts: 44
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Post by woah on Dec 11, 2007 9:13:21 GMT -5
Ok so today is 30 days for me. I have not looked at any p in that time. Although I have done a little mb, 3 times specifically. I did it in times of stress where I knew I would be tempted. I thought it would calm the urge and I guess it did slightly but I still dont want to depend on it. It doesnt have the horible effect like p but its a lonely feeling afterwards. It doesnt feel like thats what God designed me for. I'm not sure if my body needs that or whatever normal sexual function is but I know I'd like to eliminate mb as well.
As far as stressful triggers, I've had a few. The weekend before last I went to visit my friend across the state who was doing a co-op over there. He's just living by himself and doesnt really know anyone over there. I stayed with him over summer for about a month and I guess after I left he got kinda depressed with all the alone time he had. He started smoking weed again even though his company gives random drug tests. That visit had an effect on me because I'm about to graduate and I have to get a job and unless I stay in my home town I'll be living somewhere by myself like him. That doesnt look inviting to me at all. I could not imagine alot of alone time would help with a p addiction. This last weekend was good for me. I went to an amazing trade show. There were some girls there passing freebies out for some of the companies. Of course they were dressed in almost nothing. I was initially very tempted to look but after I thought about it and saw past the heavy make-up inviting smiles, theres really nothing there. They're just getting paid to get people's attention. I prayed for them and continued on. Also that weekend I went to a race and spent all day out in the sun after getting only about 3 hours of sleep. This makes me hugely weak to temptations but I just didnt feel the temptations. I got 2nd in my class at the race and felt good about that. Even when I came home (I still live with my parents) my dad was drunk which usually really annoys me but I dealt well and didnt feel the urge to look at p. So overall I can feel how God is working in my life and making some big changes. I have been enjoying life much more without p. Little things are more fulfilling and I have more confidence. I am very thankful.
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woah
New Member
Posts: 44
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Post by woah on Dec 14, 2007 9:52:30 GMT -5
Today is going to be a tough one. I just finished finals and also just got sick. So I have nothing to do but stay home all day and rest. The bad part is that there is no one here so I will be at home all day by myself. I would just go out and do something anyways but I'm leaving on Sunday for a vacation with some friends. We're going to do some snowboarding in Colorado. I am really excited about that so I want to get well as quick as possible. I also dont want to have any remnant of p in my mind while on vacation. I just want to enjoy 2 of God's wonderful creations, mountains and gravity.
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woah
New Member
Posts: 44
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Post by woah on Dec 25, 2007 22:01:51 GMT -5
I figured I would update my journal thing. I got back from Colorado and had an excellent time. I was very surprised because there was almost no temptations for me. I think the only time I thought about looking at a girl lustfully was in one of the shops. That girl was..well I just had to look away. Two of the girls that went on the trip had a very difficult time when we got back. I dont want to share it but my prayers are with them and any prayers for them would be great. I am feeling much better about living a p free life. It almost seems like its a reality now. Although I know that I have to stay humble and ready. Especially now because I have the next couple weeks off with absolutely nothing to do. No job and no school. I've been kinda axious about the whole growing up thing. It seems scary knowing that in a year from now I'm supposed to have a career and to be completely supporting myself. Those 2 combinations are bad because free time and anxiety are a recipe for a slip. So I will determine a plan right now for the next 2 weeks. I plan to have as much fun as possible since it will be my last free time for a while. I'll try to hang out with my friends as much as possible and when they're busy I will do something fun or constructive on my own, like work in the garage, look for jobs, excersize. That is it for now. I'll probably update more with all my free time.
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