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Post by shpeperfeck on Oct 26, 2007 0:12:18 GMT -5
Woot! Congratulations! It IS worth everything it takes.
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woah
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Post by woah on Oct 28, 2007 15:17:24 GMT -5
Just wanted to make a quick stop by here to say I'm still p free. I'll come back later to share my recent strugglings.
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gregg70
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I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
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Post by gregg70 on Oct 28, 2007 21:11:33 GMT -5
Thanks for checking in and giving the great news. You Rock!
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woah
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Post by woah on Oct 29, 2007 21:35:16 GMT -5
Today was a good day for me. I had some temptations but I felt like I delt with them better. I havent been sleeping that good lately. This is a change for me, I usually sleep really good. I think this is part of the problem. Tiredness is always a big problem for me. My defenses seem to go down when I'm tired. In fact every area of my life seems to suffer when I have a lack of sleep. I remember reading a thread on here that talked about how dreams get very intense as you abstain from p. I have definately been experiencing this. I think its subsiding now though and I thank the Lord for helping me through. Well I better get to sleep. I'm meeting my friend in the morning for an early morning skate session. Wouldnt have agreed to that if I was looking at p right now.
gregg. I came across that story about Moses that you posted about before on here. That was pretty inspiring for me. Thanks for that.
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woah
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Post by woah on Nov 2, 2007 8:48:07 GMT -5
I have made it to 40 days. I dont think counting days is whats most important but it still makes me feel good. Its been getting a little harder for me lately. I noticed that about a week and a half after any kind of release is very hard. I guess thats normal functioning of the body. Sure makes it hard though. Walking around school yesterday was incredibly tough. Everywhere I looked there were girls wearing way too little. I had to close my eyes many times just to avoid a second look. I always remind myself that seeing a girl and acknowledging she is attractive is not wrong but taking that second look is done with the intention of lust and is sinful. All this temptation plus a little stress with almost missing my graduation has given me alot of nervous energy. So I'm going to take advantage of this and stay busy today and hopefully get alot done.
Quote I found today that seemed inspirational to me
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
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gregg70
Full Member
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Posts: 248
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Post by gregg70 on Nov 2, 2007 22:03:49 GMT -5
This quote is going along with a study class I am doing at settingcaptivesfree website. It speaks about bring your sins into the light so that God can make you pure again and you can live in the light forever. One strategy some on this site use is to pray for the woman that you look at and think you are about to lust over. Saying a prayer for her takes the lust action out of it and you can see her as human and not an object. Not to mention, she might need prayer for any number of reasons anyway 40 days is a great accomplishment. Keep up your work. I hope that all is well now with the graduation. When I was a senior in college, the registrar called me in half way through my last semester and told me I was going to be one hour short of graduating. I had to beg a teacher to let me in a low credit class and I was able to graduate thank goodness. Gregg70
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woah
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Post by woah on Nov 5, 2007 20:13:23 GMT -5
Thanks Gregg, all is good with graduation now. I just have a semester and a half left. I wasnt aware that the deadline to apply for graduation was so early. Of course neither did half the class either.
I started that class at settingcaptivesfree a while ago but I just didnt think it was the best thing for me. Its full of excellent information and insights but it seemed to be geared more for an older married person. I would always get an email telling me what I was doing wrong. That didnt help me much. I think God works in his way not necessarily in a structured way. I dont think its a bad course at all. It just wasnt best for me.
As for me, I am still hanging in there. The temptations were strong today. I think that is because I lost focus on addressing the root of the problem and just tried to avoid the whole p addiction thing. I remember saying that I was expecting some fierce tempatations to come. I think this is it. So I'm going to pray about it and try to regain my focus as to why I am so tempted right now. What is it thats making me want to go into a fantasy world.
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gregg70
Full Member
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Posts: 248
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Post by gregg70 on Nov 5, 2007 20:42:52 GMT -5
I am sorry that you had a bad expirience with the class. I get emails from my mentor but they are encouraging and insightful about the lesson. He asks me questions sometimes but never points out my mistakes.
I pray that you will find resolve and shelter from your temptations right now.
Gregg70
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woah
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Post by woah on Nov 12, 2007 9:46:44 GMT -5
eerrrrrrrhgg I hate to write this. I slipped up. I made it 48 days with no p and then the night before last night I looked. Also the morning right after when I woke up. I can say that this period of no p has been very rewarding. I feel like I've learned alot and have made big progress. I think what led me into the slip was loneliness. As much as I dont want to admit that, I was feeling that way for a few days prior to the slip. The other thing that led me to slip was driving home from out of town very late. I was exteremely tired and just struggling to stay awake and the triggers that I saw during the day came back to me very strong. That was the first time in a long time that I actually felt the desire so strong to look at p. I feel a little down because I lost all that abstinance that I had gained and now have to start over again. I plan to address this loneliness that I was feeling. I guess I just wanted someone to talk to. I do plenty of stuff with friends but typically dont see them everyday. Plus we hangout to have fun not talk about the little things that happened during my day. So today is day 1. I dont feel like I threw everything away, I am happy that I made 48 days without p. I feel like I am getting farther from it but I still need to figure out what makes me want to look at p. Because I really dont like it at all. Even when I was looking I thought about how the girls were damaging their own lives and lives of the many people that seeked them out.
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gregg70
Full Member
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Posts: 248
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Post by gregg70 on Nov 12, 2007 22:21:32 GMT -5
Woah,
Sorry to hear your news. I know you have written down a few things about the slip and some causes. Have you made any notes or had time to make adjustments to your plan?
The holidays are coming up and can bring periods of stress and lonliness. I urge you to plan and be ready.
48 days was a great start. What is the next goal?
Gregg70
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woah
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Posts: 44
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Post by woah on Nov 13, 2007 20:30:45 GMT -5
I fell again. The first viewing of p left me feeling empty and for some reason I wanted to believe the lie that more p would take that away. The truth is that I was left even more empty. I tried looking into some hobbies of mine just to be doing something but I just felt worthless and kept wondering what went wrong. How did I go from feeling great about myself and recovery back to the pit of p. That is a very bad feeling. I checked out blazinggrace.org and read alot there. It is amazing how scripture based words seem to fill in the emptiness. I cant believe how I forgot about the amazing love of Jesus. These past few days have been a huge burden in the recovery process but I still feel like I can learn from this. I have to keep God in my life and view evreryday as a gift.
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gregg70
Full Member
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Posts: 248
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Post by gregg70 on Nov 14, 2007 23:12:45 GMT -5
Woah,
I am glad that you visited the site.
Always remember that with God we can do anything but without him, we are nothing.
He has to be a part of everyday.
God has forgiven you. Have you asked Him?
Its time to get back to recovery.
Gregg70
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woah
New Member
Posts: 44
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Post by woah on Nov 15, 2007 18:33:48 GMT -5
Yes. I felt very bad about what I did and I asked for forgiveness.
I feel like I am back on the right path now. I'll view this as one bad slip since one kinda led to the other. I do feel like I can move on positively from here. I dont want to act like I'm starting over but wrather that I had a slip up and now I'm oving back on. I've learned alot and I look forward to applying that to my life. So since I started this journal I went about 20 days then went 48 days and now it just makes sense to go 100 days. Makes more sense to just stop completely though. So I'll do that.
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gregg70
Full Member
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Posts: 248
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Post by gregg70 on Nov 15, 2007 21:21:30 GMT -5
I think thats a great plan! Gregg70
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woah
New Member
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Post by woah on Nov 28, 2007 21:42:46 GMT -5
Well my last post was almost 2 weeks ago and I hate to say it but during that time I............ just kidding, I havent looked at any p in over 2 weeks! I did take a break from coming to this board though. I somehow just forgot about the whole p and p addiction thing. It didnt seem like it was an issue in my life. It has been refreshing living life without the incessant urge for p. I really dont know why I've been without feeling the need for p but I thank God for it. I've been trying to live more healthy, like working out, doing less procrastinating. That probably has alot to do with it. So my plan for now is to keep doing what I've been doing lately. I do know it will get hard again so I plan to keep up with this journal deal and be ready for temptations.
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