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Post by katmoi on Aug 11, 2007 8:53:39 GMT -5
Dang, Libby. :(I'm so sorry that today has started off so abruptly. DH is certainly having a temper tantrum and there's no way that you can not be affected by it. I truly hope that he comes back soon and communicates with you. My thoughts and hopes for peace and harmony are with you today. Kat
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Post by Mayberry on Aug 12, 2007 6:18:43 GMT -5
Libby: How did the rest of your day go? Jinn
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Post by libby on Aug 12, 2007 9:58:38 GMT -5
Oh DH came back about an hour later, said he was sorry he just wasn't feeling well. He has some sort of sinus thing going on. He became super baby, as he always does when he is sick.
My day pretty much was a wash. The kids and I went to nephews b-day party and had a wonderful time. I (and DD)am the proud winner of the 3 legged race- I won a jump rope, LOL. Gotta love kid parties.
We came home, I made chicken noodle soup and bread for DH for dinner (and now have a large amount of soup to do something with). DH is a pain when he's sick and it's an even bigger pain when I'm angry with him. I feel bad if I don't take care of him but I resent having to take care of him. A complete catch 22.
Hopefully today will be better. Thanks Jinn for asking- it's nice to be thought of.
Libby
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Post by Mayberry on Aug 12, 2007 11:01:59 GMT -5
You bet. I'll add my good wishes to yours that today go better for you both! J
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Post by unbreakable on Aug 13, 2007 2:35:37 GMT -5
You had a pretty up and down weekend, but I'm still inspired by your strength and perseverance.
Keep going, and keep him talking.
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Post by empower on Aug 13, 2007 5:13:04 GMT -5
Your journey sounds strong and honest - keep it going!
Empower
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Post by libby on Aug 13, 2007 14:12:48 GMT -5
I'm struggling with scattered thoughts and sleep deprivation. I need a few minutes to just breath and relax my mind. I'm just so tired- when I get stressed I can't sleep and that makes the stress even worse.
I'm going to talk a walk. Libby
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Post by katmoi on Aug 14, 2007 7:46:15 GMT -5
Just a quick hello, Libby, to let you know that I'm thinking about you. How did the second job interview go? Kat
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Post by libby on Aug 14, 2007 9:33:33 GMT -5
Hello all- it's been a....................interesting weekend. Most people look forward to weekends, I however do not. Around here they get noisy, stressful and some times down right mean. I prefer the Monday-Friday routine. DH gets up and goes to work by 6 a/m- he comes home at 5p/m- has dinner and showers. He then goes into the bedroom to read or whatever. I know it sounds awful that I would rather have DH out of the house all the time but he's really difficult to be around these days. We make plans for the week end and then he doesn't want to do them- which by the way is not only a pain for me but rude to whom ever the host and hostess are. It takes time, money and affection to put together a dinner party or a family bbq. We have 4 people in our family which means people are planning to feed 4 people. It wouldn't be so bad if he just said he didn't want to go and we should go without him- but he wants to change the plans totally for all 4 of us an hour before we due to leave. This weekend was all about DH's family and he pulled that crap both days. He made the plans and then doesn't want to follow thru. GRRRRRRRRRR We fought about it and then the kids and I went anyway. Boy was he upset- how dare we leave him, a grown man, home to fend for himself. Catch 22 no matter what I do..............But the kids had a great time at both functions and that is what matters as both were kid functions.
I don't know about the job interview, I went, it went well but I wont know until I get an offer or a rejection letter. I have gone on a few other interviews- or job market is really tight here so I am actually looking outside my field. I don't care if I have to work in a factory- I just want/need a job to feel more secure, KWIM.
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Post by libby on Aug 15, 2007 12:43:01 GMT -5
I GOT A JOB!!!! I just received the fax with offer- I signed the acceptance offer and faxed back. I go in tomorrow for the last step which is a drug screen, no biggy. I start Monday.
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Post by LookingUp on Aug 15, 2007 14:57:04 GMT -5
Congratulations on the job! I'm so happy for you.
I was so upset at your husband's manipulative, controlling selfishness on the weekends. Glad you went anyway with the children and had a good time. If he was home alone and lonely - tough, then maybe next time he'll go or at least not plan to go and chicken out. I think you handled that beautifully.
I'm so thrilled for you getting the job!
LookingUp
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Post by Mayberry on Aug 15, 2007 15:57:17 GMT -5
CONGRATULATIONS LIBBY!!!!!! *does the happy dance* YAY LIBBY!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! You rock!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!
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Post by libby on Aug 15, 2007 19:13:43 GMT -5
Thank You everyone. I feel so *taking a deep breath and releasing* centered. I'll have my own income so I will feel more in control and self efficient. NOT TRAPPED!!!!
Amazing though it may seem, almost shocking to some- DH is not happy about this- hmmmm I wonder why, LOL. His first response was- will men be working there? @@, I responded with I don't care if the president himself works there- it's a job and I'm taking it!!
My brand new way of dealing with DH is to speak and move on. I do not ask his opinion, permission or even the time. I say what I need to say and go. Period. He'll either get in line or he won't.
He did make an appointment with a new Therapist, so that is an improvement. He is no longer speaking to me in hateful tones or words. He just annoys the crap out of me (excuse the foul language please). I am telling myself that he can change, he wants to change and he is trying to change- now I just have to learn to believe it. One moment at a time I suppose. Thanks so much for your well wishes and excitement.
Libby
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Post by LookingUp on Aug 16, 2007 8:40:09 GMT -5
Good for you for not letting him get you "hooked" back into the old cycle of desiring his opinion and wanting his validation for the things that are good for you. That's great. Hopefully in time he will learn to give those things you'd like - but it sounds like you're taking excellent care of yourself why you wait to see if the process works... well, if HE works the process so he can be there for a way that meets your needs.
LookingUp
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Post by katmoi on Aug 16, 2007 13:21:50 GMT -5
He was kidding, right? No, sadly, because he cheats, he assumes that you do too. Unreal.
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