|
Post by godhelpme on Feb 19, 2005 13:59:44 GMT -5
I'm in. I have been sober for almost 4 days now, so that will put me at May 24th, I believe.
Let's go.
|
|
raj
Junior Member
Posts: 56
|
Post by raj on Feb 19, 2005 16:04:49 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
Just checking in on Day 4 clean for me
I just got 'Out of the Shadows' and the 'Hope and Recovery' twelve-step guide in the post today, which will hopefully help with my recovery.
It was my 28th birthday yesterday. I have a feeling that this will be a year of greater freedom and growth for me.
May it be so for all of us. Amen.
raj
|
|
john
New Member
Posts: 40
|
Post by john on Feb 19, 2005 16:24:40 GMT -5
A day at a time,
I didn’t see the priest after all ! I went to 2 places but couldn’t find a priest that was there. I have just read the post called “introduction and story” and I felt like opening up about what is wrong with me. I am pasting here what I wrote.
Don’t know where to start. First I don’t know if you are going to fell better but you are not alone. We all here have our own things that happen that we aren’t proud off. I have never opened up about some of the things. Even here. You gave me the courage to do so. MB and P led me to do things that I am really no proud of. Like letting another man MB me in the shower. I am married and have a kid. I read somewhere that “that most or all sexual deviations are learned behaviors, usually through inadvertent or accidental conditioning” Me too when I was young I was lying to people about what was going on in my life. My first exposure about my sexuality was about the fact that I am uncut. After the Karate lesson in the shower with some of my friends there were curious and made bad comment about that. So grew up feeling different from other boys. When I was 7 years old I think my brother’s friend used to sleep quite often at home. He was way older. On night after talking he mb me and ask me to do the same. There reason why I am saying that is that very early my conception of right and wrong were perturbed. That went on for quite a long time. I had even doubt about my own sexuality. Wondering if I was gay, bi or straight. Today I know that I want to be with woman. I really can’t see myself with another man going all the way. It’s almost as if Mb is different. Yes I let other man touch me but even when I had opportunities to go further I refused to do so, I am not into that.
It’s like they are 2 people in me. On can be in the shower and will not care that there are other men near me, and there is the other me that will tell me “hey look there is man near you who is also uncut”. The first me will dominate most of the time. But rarely the other men will try to act out.
I don’t want to do that anymore. I know what I want to clean up my act. I may have shock a lot of you here but that’s my life.
Raj happy birthday !!
John, Day 08
|
|
|
Post by shortguy on Feb 20, 2005 0:29:03 GMT -5
Thanks for letting join in late, I realy appreciate the acceptance and support. end of day 1
|
|
|
Post by a day at a time on Feb 20, 2005 11:40:50 GMT -5
house work done meditation done guitar practice done computer graphics practice done
Day 003 almost done
|
|
|
Post by thepride724 on Feb 20, 2005 14:13:12 GMT -5
Hey guys,
I just want to let you guys know how I am doing. I have been clean for an entire week, and I feel good right now; still battling thoughts though. I hope everyone is staying strong. 93 more days to go.
Be blessed
|
|
|
Post by orange04 on Feb 20, 2005 15:54:16 GMT -5
Joining you guys. I am 7 days clean, due to extremely busy last week. This week when the load decreases I would be in a dangerous zone again. Wish you sober Sunday!
|
|
john
New Member
Posts: 40
|
Post by john on Feb 20, 2005 23:10:44 GMT -5
Hello guys,
I have to apologies to all of you ! I failed myself and all of you guys ! Sorry.
John, Day 00
|
|
|
Post by Al on Feb 21, 2005 4:00:55 GMT -5
Hello guys, I have to apologies to all of you ! I failed myself and all of you guys ! Sorry. John, Day 00 I am disappointed, John. May I suggest that you post your recovery plan along with a complete description of what happened this time, so that we might help you identify ways in which your plan is inadequate, or else encourage you to follow that plan better. My spreadsheet is on another computer, so there won't be a new update here (with accurate averages/totals, etc) until Thursday at the earliest, but I'll try to modify the most recent list somewhat. If I make a mistake, let me know. Welcome to the new people. I have decided that when everyone in this group makes it to 100 days, I am going to buy a new easy-chair for my living room. I want my easy chair. If a member of the group slips, my easy-chair slips further away from my grasp. Be well, Al
|
|
|
Post by a day at a time on Feb 21, 2005 13:39:47 GMT -5
Day 004
went to work (tree prunning) took shower house work meditation (10mn) gtr practice (30mn) web design practice(to be done)
good evening & good night to all
John, Lets see that recovery plan!
|
|
zaf
New Member
Posts: 18
|
Post by zaf on Feb 21, 2005 15:45:51 GMT -5
I had a good week. Still doing ok, I went home on saturday (I live on a college campus) and just before I came back yesterday, I destroyed some 7 P movies tapes and 4 dvds I had in my room: It feels great, really great. I have no more of these things at home now. I want to encourage everyone to keep going sober one day at a time. zaf day 006
|
|
|
Post by little knight on Feb 21, 2005 21:00:46 GMT -5
Major temptation yesterday but I am still sober and still heading towards 100. Here is the story:
I was driving home during a snow storm at around 10 o'clock. The conditions were pretty bad and the highway did not have any street lights. I did not feel safe at all and I was running out of gas. Since there was a hotel nearby, I decided to check in.
Everything was going wrong for me yesterday. My wife was not happy when I called her and told her that I would be crashing in a hotel. And I always found the experience of sleeping in a hotel a very lonely one. Prior to yesterday, I have probably MB'd every single time that I was ever alone in a hotel.
But I knew that I was vulnerable. I made sure that I did not settle into that room until I prayed to God. And that is just what I did. I went back into my car and prayed fervently for God to get me through the night without acting out.
After setting foot into the room, I looked around for Gideon's bible and read the Sermon on the Mount (one of my favorites).
After drifting off to sleep, I endured the most pornographic dreams of my recovery to date. I am guessing that the dreams become more intense when the temptation that I resisted is intense. My subconscious is compensating for what I have denied my conscious mind. Just a guess.
I made it through the night sober! I have got my eye on 100 - one day at a time.
Knight
|
|
|
Post by detrmnd on Feb 21, 2005 21:14:18 GMT -5
Sounds like a great idea guys, but I'll pass. I'm just looking to get through today.....and maybe tomorrow.
Be well, detrmnd
|
|
stikint
Full Member
Phi 4:13 I am capable of doing all things through Christ, the One strengthening me.
Posts: 235
|
Post by stikint on Feb 21, 2005 23:59:01 GMT -5
Day 5 and counting.... My new recovery plan works great. The small changes seems to work well. I will post my plan a bit later. Perhaps we can exchange ideas??
"Just For Today! Because today is unique and will never be again."
(PS, for those of you that wants a small, highly-simple day counter, I made one a while ago and will gladly email it to you if you like. It's a single EXE and INI file and is 220kb zipped)
|
|
|
Post by dilbert on Feb 22, 2005 8:05:20 GMT -5
Hi guys, Just checking in and still 100% clean and free from P & MB Come on guys, Al needs that Easy-chair ;D Dilbert
|
|