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40 days
Dec 11, 2007 23:33:39 GMT -5
Post by Brighterside on Dec 11, 2007 23:33:39 GMT -5
Day 30
Come on guys! Let's get sobre!!
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40 days
Dec 12, 2007 23:11:00 GMT -5
Post by Brighterside on Dec 12, 2007 23:11:00 GMT -5
Checking in clean
Peace
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40 days
Dec 13, 2007 13:54:55 GMT -5
Post by capillarian on Dec 13, 2007 13:54:55 GMT -5
Sorry for not checking in.. Currently in Glasgow visiting my sister, which is great because it gets me out of my head. Also had to endure a 9-hour bus ride to get here, which is great when there's a baby behind me crying for half the journey because it really puts my "resentment" to the test. Luckily I didn't let my emotions get the better of me, and I arrived feeling exhausted, but not angry (at a baby no less?). Ah... the ups and downs of finding out what a sorry old scrooge I really am.
Anyways, I've finally got internet access and can say I've been sober for 5 days, although I had some vivid dreams yesterday.. not happy about that. But at least I tried to put it out of my mind when I woke up.
Take care guys.. Bright, I'm proud of you man! Keep up the good work! Cap
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40 days
Dec 13, 2007 19:40:33 GMT -5
Post by here2learn on Dec 13, 2007 19:40:33 GMT -5
Day 7 almost over.
Keep it up everyone.
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40 days
Dec 13, 2007 23:43:59 GMT -5
Post by Brighterside on Dec 13, 2007 23:43:59 GMT -5
Day 32
Clean
I'm proud of you too Cap - for getting right back on the wagon
Way to go here2learn! Keep it going man!
Peaceful bodies, peaceful minds
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40 days
Dec 14, 2007 10:14:31 GMT -5
Post by capillarian on Dec 14, 2007 10:14:31 GMT -5
Day 6, here we go.. Yesterday I met the band members of one of my favourite bands ever, and took pictures with them. It was so incredible!! Went to sleep listening to their music and thinking about the experience.. man, it was euphoric.
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40 days
Dec 15, 2007 10:33:19 GMT -5
Post by capillarian on Dec 15, 2007 10:33:19 GMT -5
Here I am on Day 7.. That 9 hour bus ride yesterday was a killer. Blimey, I've just realized I've done no work during the time I spent in Glasgow.. Really need to settle down and concentrate.
Cap
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40 days
Dec 15, 2007 11:51:26 GMT -5
Post by Brighterside on Dec 15, 2007 11:51:26 GMT -5
Day 34 clean!
Cap - sounds like you had an awesome trip. That's cool you met the band you like. I got to meet a guitarist I looked up to for a long time. Head from Korn. He quit the band and gave his life to Christ - pretty cool actually.
So I maybe had the closest thing to God speaking to me today. It may have been a coincidence but it was such beautiful timing it seemed to be divine! I was meditating this morning. It's something new I'm trying so I set my alarm clock 10 minutes after I start. That way I don't have to be thinking about how long I'm meditating and just clear my head. Inhale..."Jesus, Son of God"........Exhale "have mercy on me, a sinner" - for 10 minutes. When the alarm went off the radio station was playing this Puddle of Mud song and right when the alarm went it was right on the lyric "Know that I will save you from all of the unclean." It was so cool - I had to write it down and come on here and post it. I was struggling this morning with urges too and it just freed me - Awesome!
here2learn - way to go man, stick with it
Peace everyone
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40 days
Dec 16, 2007 6:16:44 GMT -5
Post by ingodwetrust on Dec 16, 2007 6:16:44 GMT -5
Hi guys Im on 1st clean week, may I join:)
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40 days
Dec 16, 2007 7:35:28 GMT -5
Post by capillarian on Dec 16, 2007 7:35:28 GMT -5
Bright.. that's amazing! Really, thanks for sharing that. I ought to try some meditation techniques too. Welcome, and congrats on finding the board, ingodwetrust. Yes of course you can join! Hope you find the thread useful. Day 8, Cap
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40 days
Dec 16, 2007 13:27:30 GMT -5
Post by ingodwetrust on Dec 16, 2007 13:27:30 GMT -5
Hi again First of all I want to answer the following question: Why do I write this? The answer: Because I want to explain to myself what I need to do as it will stick better and because I want to have a discussion and maybe learn something new. I¡¦ve been working and thinking about this plan of mine for some time so now it's time to "walk the walk" English is not my mother tongue but I think you will understand me. After a lot of reading and thinking I have come to the following. One should be aware that when fantasy (your thoughts, mental pictures that go through your head every day) come into conflict with your conscious part of the brain the fantasy will always win. Always. Your brain is in fact addicted to that numb feeling of relaxation and enjoyment you get from P. And of course it wants more and more and more. So just the decision alone "I won¡¦t do it again" is not going to the job. You can try to fight but you're fighting a lost battle. If you decide to fight your brain is powerful and it will use different "weapons" to fool you into doing exactly what it wants. The most powerful tool it has is your fantasy (mental pictures, thoughts). As soon as you start viewing that "movie" of unwanted thoughts you will start to re-live past events and feelings which will make you feel nice and relaxed. After that you¡¦re doomed. You will NOT be able to resist these thoughts and feelings too long. 1 hour maybe? 1 day? 40 days?. Sooner or later you will give into temptation to feel that old feeling again. You will go into "tunnel" thinking where only one option exists. What you need is something as powerful to replace the old addictive habit. You can imagine for example a bright sun that comes every time you start to think unwanted thoughts and destroys them but that¡¦s just half the job, what you really need to do then is to find something to replace these thoughts or you will fail. We can discuss what that might be, for me part I have already a list that I try to follow and that I¡¦ll be happy to share with you...Looking forward to have a constructive discussion..
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40 days
Dec 17, 2007 8:30:05 GMT -5
Post by capillarian on Dec 17, 2007 8:30:05 GMT -5
Thanks for posting, ingodwetrust. For me, replacing the habit has been a mixture of things. Firstly, I make it a point to post on here every day; secondly, I spend a decent amount of time each day studying; and thirdly, I'm doing my best to follow the 12-step program vigilantly. I find the 12-step program is a really effective way of re-training old thoughts and bad habits. And it's a whole life philosophy, not just something restricted to porn addiction. Once you've "beaten" the addiction, you stick to a certain set of principles that keep you sober, hopefully for life. There's also other things I want to do, like take up old hobbies, but for the time being I want my main focus to be just on recovery (and on studying... in university I can't just put that away, unfortunately ). Day 9, Cap
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40 days
Dec 17, 2007 22:47:14 GMT -5
Post by Brighterside on Dec 17, 2007 22:47:14 GMT -5
Welcome ingodwetrust!
It's all about replacing destructive habits with constructive ones. I think we all know that as being important for recovery. For me I need to engage my body physically in other things. I try to stay active - playing sports, running, working out, etc. Also, I've tried meditating and clearing my head and relaxing my body. That has also been effective to this point. Cap made a great point to come here and post and read others' posts. It reminds me WHY.
Day 36
Peaceful bodies & minds
Bright
PS - you may want to start a whole new thread to discuss this. That way you will get more input from others
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40 days
Dec 18, 2007 3:56:37 GMT -5
Post by ingodwetrust on Dec 18, 2007 3:56:37 GMT -5
hi again, Yes I have too came to a conclusion that physical activity is really good against P. I too try to study a bit every day or at least read a book of some kind. Of course to pray is essential part of the whole process. This forum helps as well. However what has really been extra effective is chasity. No gazing, no thinking about bad, dirty things, keeping my eyes away from gazing at women gives me enourmous sense of peace. I'm not a christian but I've found some much evidence that God's advice and words are the best in every way and so true..Thank Allah for that.
Day 7
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40 days
Dec 18, 2007 13:17:43 GMT -5
Post by here2learn on Dec 18, 2007 13:17:43 GMT -5
ingodwetrust, welcome to the forum!
Checking in - day 12 clean!
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