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Post by findaway on Nov 27, 2005 18:16:21 GMT -5
I would never put trash in my mouth. Why did I put so much trash in my mind? Exactly. Keep trucking witness!
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Post by witness on Nov 28, 2005 5:54:41 GMT -5
I'm happy to say that I don't have much to say today. The longer I go, the better it gets. But I know to never think the battle is already won. That is a great way to lose a ball game or any other fight.
One of my favorite authors is John Stott. I'll share this quote below: It is not enough to *know* what we should be ... We must go further and set our minds upon it. The battle is nearly always won in the mind. It is by the renewal of our mind that our character and behaviour become transformed. So Scripture calls us again and again to mental discipline in this respect. 'Whatever is true,' it says, 'whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things' (Phil. 4:8). Self-control is primarily mind-control. What we sow in our minds we reap in our actions.
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Post by witness on Nov 28, 2005 20:37:20 GMT -5
One small victory tonight. I turned off the TV and an R-rated movie to come here.
This afternoon I saw for a split second how easily a slip can pop up. I was doing some work on the computer. I had finished my work. I had spent some time on the board. Even read some of the links on the New Members thread (some excellent stuff there by the way). Then I didn't really have anything else to do. I was there sitting in front of the computer with no real direction. Then for just a split second came the thought: search for something on Google.
Thankfully I just turned the machine off. It was all so quick. But could have been so deadly. I really need to be careful. Boredom and/or opportunities can be killers.
Thank you, Lord, for sparing me. Keep me pure for You!
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Post by witness on Nov 29, 2005 6:37:37 GMT -5
I was reading the post on "What Slogans Work Best" and saw the 400 plus list from AA. I would like to repeat just a few here:
69) Remember that alcoholism is incurable, progressive, and fatal.
115) If I think, I won't drink. If I drink, I can't think.
143) God taught us to laugh again but God please don't let us forget that we once cried.
221) The smartest thing an A.A. member can say is, help.
225) A coincidence is a miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.
315) If you can't remember your last drink, maybe you haven't had it.
335) It gets better.
371) A winner is a loser who keeps trying.
376) God can and will if we seek Him.
Lots of wisdom there. God help us all as we strive to live a healthy life, just for today!
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Post by lizardking on Nov 29, 2005 10:08:37 GMT -5
You're doing great, Witness. I'll respond to your PM's in a few. Promise!
I know all about those sneak attacks the devil can send to you seemingly out of nowhere. I am glad to see that you were strong when you had to be!
LizardKing
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Post by witness on Nov 30, 2005 4:39:30 GMT -5
REALITY is better than fantasy! I am thankful for my wife, my children, my work, and so many other things. And I am most grateful for a God who loves me and is willing to help me, every minute of every day, in spite of my failings.
Staying clean for one more day! For me, for them and for HIM!
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Post by lizardking on Nov 30, 2005 8:37:09 GMT -5
Good point, W, and 'good morning' to you as well.
Fantasy vs. Reality is such a tricky thing and those of us caught up in this addiction all must learn that in order to be free from it. The Bible tells me that 'a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways' and I think that's in I or II Peter, not sure - but boy, is that true or what?
Reality = stable in my book. It took me a long time to understand that.
Hope this finds you doing great this AM.
LizardKing
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Post by witness on Nov 30, 2005 20:40:23 GMT -5
I am working on reeducating my "wandering eyes". It is a challenge to either not look or to look away and not look twice.
I just saw this quote from CV: "I know that I will always have to be paying attention to my thoughts and where they live. If your thoughts are bad tenants---evict them before they destroy the house"
Kicking them out and keeping them out seems to be a full-time job.
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Post by witness on Dec 2, 2005 6:52:10 GMT -5
I think I was hardly tempted yesterday. I don't expect many days to be like that.
I know that the slippery slope is just a thought away. So I'm trying to always stay on guard.
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Post by witness on Dec 3, 2005 8:28:46 GMT -5
Yesterday was another good day!
I am 50 years old. (Although I don't look it or feel it!!) My how time flies by.
I can remember one day, I think it was a Saturday, I was either 17 or 18 and I drove my sister to a store. We both went separate ways to shop. I headed to the magazine rack and started looking through a Penthouse magazine. My how I was shocked and embarrassed when my sister walked up on me from behind and said: "What are you looking at?"
Oh how I wish I had let that be the last time I would pick up a magazine or look at any sexually explicit material. Why did I never take a stand in these thirty something years? Why did I never confess my problem and seek help? Why have I kept this secret for so long?
I hope and pray that if you are reading this and are younger than I am that you will take action today to rid yourself of this dark secret.
I was disturbed when I read a post yesterday that asked? "How long do you need to look at P before you really become addicted?"
What kind of a question is that? If you play with fire, you will get burned! So pack your bags and run as fast as you can and never look back. Don't wait for your problem to get any worse. Don't let the months and years go slowly passing by. Stop today. Get help now.
I told myself time after time that I would quit. I prayed and ask God to forgive me and help me to never look again. Sometimes I would go for a few weeks or months with my new resolve. But then, in a moment, I would slip and fall again.
If you are young and have "only" had this problem for a few months or years, don't be as foolish as I was. Fight this with all you've got now. And talk with someone you respect and trust. Only light can dispel darkness.
I am ashamed of this part of my past. With God's help, I will never go back to that dark hole again. I will not let myself forget the evil of this sin, as I can never let down my guard because a slip is just a thought away.
If you are reading this, be wise. Any fool can learn from his own mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
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Post by witness on Dec 4, 2005 18:20:22 GMT -5
It is nice to be breaking free. I'm still staying on guard as I know it only takes a second for the deadly spiral to begin. I did some reading in an old journal by BlackSpiral. Lots of good information there. lightwave.proboards48.com/index.cgi?board=journal&action=display&thread=1111004899&page=1Among other things, I liked what he wrote about breaking old beliefs. That has certainly been a key for me in breaking this deadly cycle. I had often told myself lies such as: - These pictures of girls are harmless, really. - Every man does it. It's just normal male behavior. - It's okay to ogle women; I'm supposed to find them attractive. - I'm not hurting anyone. - It's not like I'm having an affair or getting involved with another person. I would never do that. If it was all so innocent, why did I feel bad about doing it? Why did I hide it from my wife? Why would I go back to it after I had promised the Lord and myself that I would never do it again? I don't want to ever look at a woman as a sex object again. I appreciate a beautiful woman but I want to see more than a body. I want to see a person, with an eternal soul. So that's why I'm here. And that's why I'm determined to never believe those lies again.
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Post by glockster on Dec 5, 2005 2:13:47 GMT -5
Witness, HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! (Belated). I wish you all the best, strength, love, happiness and 50 more years - only this time without P !!!. Stay powerful in beating this my friend.
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Post by witness on Dec 6, 2005 6:30:41 GMT -5
Yesterday was another good day. I am managing to head off the temptations by quickly looking the other way.
I went with my wife and son to see the new Harry Potter movie. There was a line near the end where Harry was told that we have to choose between what is right and what is easy.
Changing my life for the better is not easy but it is definately RIGHT.
Jesus said the same thing when he said that we must choose between the broad way and the narrow way. I want to walk on the narrow way, even though it is not always easy, because it is the path to LIFE.
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Post by Disciple on Dec 6, 2005 6:42:11 GMT -5
Hey Witness!
Just checking out your journal and praying for all the best for you.
You said that you are 50 and don't look it or feel it. Well before I found out your age I would have guessed you were a younger man because you communicate a youthful enthusiasm and zest for life. It helps me a lot!
Peace, Disciple
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Post by lizardking on Dec 6, 2005 7:52:41 GMT -5
W,
Yeah, what Disciple said - you do seem younger than 50!
Anyway, happy 'late' birthday from me this morning and I hope this birthday is a new beginning to a better life for you. (And me!)
Enjoyed reading your journal this morning, you are a great inspiration to all of us.
In Him,
LizardKing
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