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Post by witness on Nov 3, 2005 5:55:20 GMT -5
Day 9. Staying clean for one more day, by His Grace!
Even though I didn't look at anything I shouldn't last night I stayed up working on the computer instead of going to bed when my wife did. That is something I need to change.
I have found this song for children meaningful:
Jesus loves me! this I know, For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak but He is strong.
Jesus loves me! loves me still, 'tho I'm very weak and ill, that I might from sin be free, bled and died upon the tree.
Jesus loves me when I'm good. When I do the things I should. Jesus loves me when I'm bad, but it makes him oh so sad.
Jesus loves me! He who died heaven's gate to open wide; He will wash away my sin, let His little child come in.
Jesus loves me! He will stay close beside me all the way. Thou hast bled and died for me, I will henceforth live for Thee.
May it be so in my life!
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Post by lizardking on Nov 3, 2005 9:31:02 GMT -5
Witness,
What a great song, no matter what your age. "Jesus Loves Me - THIS I KNOW". That just says it all, because when we realize, when we KNOW, that Jesus loves us no matter what we do or have done, the impossible becomes possible.
Thanks for this entry to your jounal - you put me right over the top this morning. Reading it, I think I got something in my eyes as they were watering a little!
LizardKing
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Post by witness on Nov 3, 2005 19:10:07 GMT -5
I'm so glad that He loves me even when I fail. So glad that I want to make Him glad and never sad.
That should be all the motivation I need!
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Post by witness on Nov 4, 2005 5:57:27 GMT -5
Day 10.
Last night I was flipping through channels on the TV. I saw something on one channel about body painting on women. I'm happy to say I went right on by. I was tempted to go back but I didn't. One small vitory in this war.
I read a quote that I think has often been true in my life: “What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don’t want to discourage it completely.”
I must root out everything or I will not succeed at all.
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Post by witness on Nov 5, 2005 11:36:30 GMT -5
Day 11.
I don't know if anyone is keeping up with my story, but just in case, I'll let you know that I am going out of town tomorrow and will be gone for about 8 or 9 days.
In the meantime I'll share a prayer I read a few years back. I liked it so much I saved it.
"Lord, I have this struggle against (X-sin). I cannot resist in my own power. No matter how I determine in advance, when the moment comes, I find myself wanting to do the forbidden thing. I cannot desire to do the right thing myself. Lord, I honestly do DESIRE to do the right thing. I am WILLING to desire to do the right thing. But you must empower me to have a godly desire when temptation comes. I yield my WILL to you. At this moment, please work in me to WILL your good pleasure."
This is not a one-time thing, it is a constant process, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.
Staying clean for one more day! I'll make it with His help!
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Post by dj2005 on Nov 6, 2005 0:01:36 GMT -5
hey bro! congrats on your great progress, and best wishes for you on your trip. it looks like you are coming from a strong place, and i believe you will have continued success in your recovery. i went away for a few days last week, and i really allowed the break in my routine to throw me off. i don't know if that's something you are prone to, but if it is, i'd ecourage you to go into your trip with a plan, and to write in a journal or something. i look forward to hearing about your progress when you return! dj
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Post by lizardking on Nov 8, 2005 11:52:43 GMT -5
Witness,
Great prayer, I am going to save that one for my own use, if you don't mind. I hate that I missed you before you left on your trip and I will be on a trip of my own when you get back, but keep up the good work and we will have success stories to tell each other when we talk again.
I agree with DJ, you do seem to be in a very strong place and I hope you stay right there while on your trip. Pray for me and I'll be praying for you in the meantime.
Hope to hear from you, soon.
LizardKing
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Post by witness on Nov 13, 2005 21:05:08 GMT -5
I just got back home and wanted to check in here.
I appreciate the words of encouragement. I know that I am weak but He is strong.
I was not tempted with the Internet or other things on my trip as they were not really accessible. But I still struggle with my thoughts. There were a couple of days when I wasn't very busy and had extra time to think when I found my mind drifting to thoughts of images I had seen on line. But I am fighting back and doing my best to think on other, higher things.
I'm not even sure what day I'm on. I guess about 19 or so. But the main thing is just to stay clean TODAY!
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Post by witness on Nov 14, 2005 10:53:47 GMT -5
I just read something I found helpful on the topic of lust: www.sa.org/images/whystop.PDFI know that rooting out all lust from my thoughts is essential to any kind of real victory over my addiction. I must change my whole way of acting and thinking. Lord, help me do that, just for today!
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Post by witness on Nov 15, 2005 17:21:13 GMT -5
I did not really face many temptations today. Things are going pretty well. I was pleased last night when I flipped past a TV channel and saw something that in the past would have caused me to stop and watch, but I went right on by it and then turned off the TV.
I really need to practice looking the other way and not looking a second time.
I appreciate all of you who have offered suggestions along this line. Thanks! If you have any recommended reading, please let me know.
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Post by elcondor on Nov 15, 2005 19:42:25 GMT -5
witness,
You are coming along nicely and I feel that you have put yourself in the path to a better life. Keep up the good work.
elcondor
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Post by witness on Nov 16, 2005 5:45:24 GMT -5
Day 20. It sounds good. But I've been here before and then stumbled and fallen flat on my face. I don't want that to happen ever again. Lord, help me! I cannot do it by myself.
I'm glad to be here and have this outlet. And I'll say it again, I'm happy to have found this board and to receive encouragement and accountability from you guys.
I have a file where I keep good quotes I run across. One I've had for a while now is:
“What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don’t want to discourage it completely.” -- Franklin Jones
I think that has described me in the past. And I pray that finally I have made my decision. And I know that it is a decision that must be reafirmed day by day.
So here I am again. Staying clean for one more day, with His help.
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Post by witness on Nov 17, 2005 6:53:21 GMT -5
Another new day! A day to be used for good. A day to be lived with no regrets. Help me, Lord, to live for You and to have eyes only for You.
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Post by lizardking on Nov 17, 2005 9:46:28 GMT -5
Witness,
Just checking in and catching up with your journal - you are doing great, BTW. Keep going and staying in your strong place, it will get easier for both of us down the road.
Thanks for your posts and prayers, they have helped me a lot by just simply reading them.
LizardKing
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Post by witness on Nov 18, 2005 5:19:50 GMT -5
Last night as we were lying in bed, just about to go to sleep, my wife said something that hurt me. Maybe because much of it was true. But I felt she was being too hard on me. Anyway, I had some trouble going to sleep. Then the thought came to go look at something I shouldn't. Thankfully I did not dwell on that thought. I eventually got up and came in and turned on the computer and looked at this board.
But that made me stop and think. Somehow I have considered those Internet Photos to be my friends who could comfort me and make me feel good when I was down. That's so sad. So untrue. I want to get to the root of my problem. Perhaps this is an insight that will help me realize how stupid I have been.
I need to seek real answers. Only real people and a real God can help me.
I found something yesterday that I had read a while back. It is very religious in content so it might not speak to all of you. But I would like to include it as whatever has helped me might help someone else.
THE PROBLEM WITH PORN, by Edward Fudge
Most men tend to be visually oriented and pictorial pornography strongly tempts men from puberty onward. It appeals to one of the most basic human appetites and it is ever-present in our society. Pornography is particularly pernicious because, like all addictive substances, it increases the appetite without quenching the thirst. It is also progressive, requiring "doses" ever-increasing in quantity, frequency and intensity.
Pornography entices us with a cluster of subtle lies. In its fictional world, full-bosomed women sport tiny waists and hips, sex has no connection with emotional intimacy, and all females eagerly wait to jump into bed with the nearest male. When believed, these illusions destroy intimacy that is genuine and meaningful. Real women cannot compete with pornography's photographically-enhanced and surgically-altered models. Such unrealistic comparisons hinder efforts by unmarried men to develop genuine relationships and often lead married men to resent their faithful, normal, wives.
The devil lies when he promises that imaginary immorality will not affect real life. Regular fantasizing about illicit sexual behavior gradually programs the mind to anticipate similar activity in the world of reality. This unreal expectation often prompts a man to initiate improper remarks or conduct toward good women, who do not welcome either. Constant immorality in his thought-world weakens a man's resolve to resist temptation when he encounters a woman willing to engage in immoral sex.
Jesus' blood cleanses from every sin, including lust, and his resurrection power frees us from sin's power and control. Victory over pornography does not come through self-will or sheer determination, but through surrender of the mind and will to God moment by moment. The man who, at the moment of temptation, truly wishes to follow God's will more than he wishes to satisfy his evil craving, discovers an ability to resist the temptation by a power clearly not his own. The greatest hazard to success is not one's inabilty to say "No" to temptation. It is rather one's conscious determination at a given moment not to say "Yes" to God's control.
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