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Post by choselife on Apr 15, 2005 14:52:16 GMT -5
Thanks, Still. It always feels good to be understood.
Let me know how you are doing, when you get a chance. Hows the procrastination challenge going? Perhaps respond in the group procrastination thread, so others could benefit from your experience.
CL
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Post by Stillhopeful on Apr 15, 2005 22:20:24 GMT -5
I read this here while I was procrastinating. I must use the time wisely. I'll go and do what I planned to do - hard as it is Thanks for the reminder, unexpected as it was. Still
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Post by choselife on Apr 16, 2005 6:58:13 GMT -5
38 days sober, not much more to say.
I am planning to have a well-balanced weekend, spending lots of time with my wife, running, some meditation, bowling, some chores (yuk), etc.
CL
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Post by Autonomous on Apr 16, 2005 8:26:53 GMT -5
AWESOME !!!!! have a stellar weekend ! and guess what else you get to do this weekend... be loved by your WIFE and CHILDREN, how lucky are you? !!!!
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Post by dj2005 on Apr 16, 2005 11:16:51 GMT -5
CL- you're coming up on 40 days! The Judeo-Christian tradition has some interesting uses of the 40-day struggle. For Noah, the rain let up after 40 days. Also, Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert, tempted by satan in every possible way. in both of these cases, 40 days brought purification and solidified their faith. They still had massive challenges ahead of them, but they were empowered, with vision and faith, to express the true purposes of their lives in deeply meaning ways. it is wonderful to watch your growth CL- i am excited about the path of discovery you are on and the future that you are creating. keep up the great work! dj
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Post by choselife on Apr 16, 2005 12:14:39 GMT -5
I just had the profound heartfelt realization that I capable of experiencing true happiness. Makes me feel like crying from joy. Oh, my god, not only do I have emotions, but I can experience emotions of happiness and hope. And P just deadens emotions. No more P for me. I refuse to be self-destructive.
Nothing just happened to make me feel that way - I was simply listening to Elton John's Tumbleweed Connection album from 30 years ago.
Amazing what sobriety can do for me (and the wonderful people ... you know who you are ... on this board.)
CL
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Post by choselife on Apr 16, 2005 20:12:01 GMT -5
Just had the thought that I browse these boards so frequently for validation from others on this board. Frequently looking for replies from posters whom I have posted on their threads. I'm close to 100 pages into Tony Robbins book "Awaken the Giant Within", which makes me think that my need for this degree of validation from others is a false belief, based upon past life experiences and perhaps on habit. When I examine that previously held belief, I realize that I really don't need to be validated by others, or at least not nearly to the extent that I once used to. Regardless of the responses I get from others on this board, in my heart, I know I am just fine and making a good contribution, truly giving back as much as I have been given to by others. Now that I got that belief straightened out, I am going to act upon it by not checking nearly as frequently for replies to my posts.
CL
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Post by Stillhopeful on Apr 16, 2005 21:03:27 GMT -5
However, you are entitled to some validation, even though you do not need to constantly seek it, CL. I appreciate some validation from others, and indeed, all humans do. Of course, we must be prepared to self-validate as well, and not depend on others' validation.
Keep up the good work. I'll be reading, even if not responding as frequently.
All the best,
Still
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Post by gerry on Apr 17, 2005 0:33:51 GMT -5
Frequently looking for replies from posters whom I have posted on their threads. CL Yeah... I know that feeling. Sometimes I think that I need an answer, it doesn't matter if its agains my post... Gerry
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Post by dj2005 on Apr 17, 2005 6:09:44 GMT -5
i'm of the opinion that your recovery is naturally developing your inner-validation system...
great job diving into that book!
dj
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Post by choselife on Apr 17, 2005 6:17:04 GMT -5
Well, the end of the day will mark day 40 (I especially enjoy round numbers.) And the additional significance of 40 days is:
I appreciate the sentiment.
Still,
All makes sense to me. Balance, balance, balance.
Gerry, Its not really a big deal. I am becoming more aware of when I become obsessive about things, and then thinking about why I am obsessive, what purpose does it serve, do I really need to be obsessive, etc.
DJ,
It definitely has been.
CL
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Post by Stillhopeful on Apr 17, 2005 8:54:30 GMT -5
Good to see your recovery quietly chugging along, CL. I'll check back tomorrow and see how you are doing. Still
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Post by choselife on Apr 18, 2005 7:03:27 GMT -5
40 days in the books, and going strong.
Being sober and actively working on recovery is helping to give me a sense of inner peace, rather than the inner turmoil which was dominant.
Being sober is starting to feel like the natural thing, what I was meant to be.
CL
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Post by Stillhopeful on Apr 18, 2005 9:56:25 GMT -5
You sound positive these days, CL. I can definitely notice the difference. Also, I think you grow stronger from helping others (here and elsewhere in your life) rather than focusing on yourself. Helping others is helping you stay positive and is giving you a stronger sense of worth. It is wonderful to watch you growing into this new person. I am doing much better with not procrastinating, by the way. I've taken on quite a few personal tasks the last few days that normally I would avoid - things others would laugh at but that give me trouble. Well, I am about to turn in for the night. Keep the world turning while I sleep! Have a great day! Still
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Post by applecar on Apr 18, 2005 18:09:06 GMT -5
Congratulations on 40 days Chose! That's great.
Reading your journal and your posts has helped me immensely as I am about 30 minutes away from my 2 weeks MB & P free! My goal is to reach 40 days, of course one day at a time.
We're all works in progress, but isn't it great that we're all working on progress.
Take care and God Bless.
applecar
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