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Post by tootrue2 on Aug 1, 2005 22:32:02 GMT -5
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Post by charity on Aug 31, 2005 1:30:48 GMT -5
My husband wanted me to see if I could find a 12-step program for him to follow. He is currently going to a counselor for his P*rn addiction. His mom went to Alchoholics Anonymous & they helped her alot, so he asked his counselor about finding a group. My husband wanted ME to look on the internet for it, since he was afraid a bad site might pop up. The only groups I can find are far away.
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Post by hurting365 on Sept 6, 2005 10:08:20 GMT -5
Favor--I am still having a hard time trying to figure out all of the keyloggers software they have out there. I am looking for one that is very hard for my SA/PA to find on his desktop. DOes one exist?
Thanks
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Post by ineedyour help on Sept 15, 2005 7:26:39 GMT -5
Hello out there. I can't seem to find the place where it says "New Thread". I can always find the "reply" area.
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Post by disappointed on Sept 26, 2005 15:22:47 GMT -5
To start a new thread go back to the main partners page. You can click on partners forum at the top left of this page. On that page it lists all the topics and at the top tight you can click on new thread to start your own.
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vbnim
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by vbnim on Oct 13, 2005 11:14:16 GMT -5
Hi everyone! I hope this board will help me some. I have been married for 2 years and with my husband for 4. To keep this short I have caught my husband at least 5 times after he promised and swore that he would never do it again now knowing what he stands to lose. I found out last friday that he did it again. I feel dumb for ever believing him. I know there are women out there that dont think porn is a big deal. To me, my husband might as well had sex with someone. I feel betrayed, i feel as if I am not good enough for him, i feel as if i dont matter to him. I know he is lacking something but he cant tell me what it is. Our life in the bedroom has always been more active than alot of other couples out there. I'm sorry a bit too much info there. I just need someone to help me understand. I have heard from many others "its not you" Well it sure as hell feels like it. I need help, I dont know where to go anymore. Thanks for listening thanks for offering support for the real victims in all this
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Post by SelfnLifeGone on Oct 19, 2005 14:31:34 GMT -5
I wanted to post this in the New Members thread.
Let Strength be with you and us all today. Sky
An old post called No such thing as fairy tails. In respons to the person, brokenspirit, Whatever writes:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I used to read those fairy tale stories to my daughter, she's 9, I told her it's not reality, that love is not like it is in those stories, and that before she falls in love with any man or marries, she must first know herself and be able to stand on her own two feet.
There is this song she loves to sing by the Cheetah Girls, that says "I don't want to be like Cinderella, sitting on the floor of a dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and rescue me....I'm gonna rescue myself."
No, there are no fairy tales and happily ever afters where everyone is happy all the time and agrees about everything. To hold onto such a notion will deem even the most potentially forever marriage. I know of (and desire to have) marriages where both partners are faithful and committed to their family. They have strife, arguments, disagreements, but they work it out and they have fidelity, trust and mutual respect that the other will act in the best interests of the family, even when they don't like each other very much in a moment.
The hell that many of us find ourselves in is not an acceptable form of marriage. Hopefully through recovery and healing, we can build such a marriage.
I will never love my H with the whole of my being that I once did, even if he turns out to be the poster boy for PA recovery. I will never love any man like that; only our father in heaven deserves such trust, and I don't even do a good job with Him much of the time lately.
Thing is, I sometimes wish that his infidelity (if it was going to be, not that i want it at all) WOULD have been with a live woman. Then at least I have some idea of what I'm up against and how to deal with it. This PA bull crap, it's tricky, evil, it's undefined, it's inconceivably multi-dimensional in form.
It is perfectly OK to mourn the loss of the love you thought you had and deserved. It is perfectly OK to be pissed off that you never REALLY knew the one who broke your heart and to want to kick his ass for breaking it.
Feel it, cry it, yell it, scream it until......well, I don't know until when because it's been 18 months and "when" has not showed up. But, I know that I feel less and less of the anger and mourning than I did before, and I see that my H is growing as a man, and I recognize in him many of the traits I thought he had when we met seven years ago.
If we make it through this deep, dark valley, I believe that the light on the peak will reveal a marriage that is healthier than the one I thought I had, before I knew that I did not have one at all.
You have the right to feel anything and everything that you feel about such an awesome betrayal. Just remember that, when you are ready, you can rescue yourself. Hugs, MJ
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Post by SelfnLifeGone on Dec 29, 2005 14:22:20 GMT -5
Here is another good one I found, that I think would of helped me at the beginning of all of this.
Get back some of your independence today. Do something for You.
GainingBackMe Sky
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Re: Don't know if i can survive this.....new « Reply #5 on 12/19/05 at 5:36 »
I am so sorry , Iwish that anything I or someone else could say here would stop your heart bleeding and would soften the hurt. The beginning - when you first realize how big this addiction is- is the hardest part. You think you will break, you think you can't go on, don;'t want to go on. So for a while you just drag yourself along ...just inches away from the edge... I hate to say this but you may feel this way for a while, but eventually your emotions will change. You will feel more anger, you will feel resolve, you will know that it is HIS problem, you will come to believe that this has nothing to do with anything you did and that you in no way contributed to this. Its a long road, sometimes you take two steps forward and then nearly as many back. You will wonder when your tears will run dry, there are just never ending. The best advice I can give you is to look at the situation you are in now as a long road ahead. It stretches out before you, but you will move forward. If your husband is willing to seek help, you may move a bit faster. You can't see the end, but whatever is there will be better than where you ar at right now. Dos it help to know that there are thousands upon thousands of woman who know exactly how you feel?? Does it help to think that even in your neighbourhood will be woman in the sam situation as you?? You are not alone!!!! Please hold on to that !
Heather
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Post by LookingUp on Feb 27, 2006 12:47:31 GMT -5
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eliz
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by eliz on Apr 21, 2006 14:09:17 GMT -5
I am new here and cannot figure how how to place a new posting...maybe its my nerves and anxiety....
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eliz
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by eliz on Apr 21, 2006 14:12:45 GMT -5
I am new here and cannot figure how how to place a new posting...maybe its my nerves and anxiety....
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Post by LookingUp on Apr 21, 2006 14:18:35 GMT -5
I am new here and cannot figure how how to place a new posting...maybe its my nerves and anxiety.... Press the words "Partner's Forum" at the top of the white rectangle. That will get you to the list of the titles of all the threads. Then at the right hand side of the big white rectangle, you'll find the words "New Thread" LookingUp
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Post by mar123 on May 23, 2006 16:29:47 GMT -5
Hi - I am looking for help wherever I can get it. Recently discovered my husband has been viewing mostly transvestite porn on the Internet, and every time I ask him he says he's just "curious". For a few days after, he was very sorry and tried to make light of it. Now I am wondering if I can ever be intimate with him again. He basically refuses to address the problem, or even acknowledge this IS a problem. The strange thing is, if he was looking at pictures of women, I don't think I'd have an issue with it. Some of the material is rather violent, and the fact that he has hidden this from me is very confusing to me. Just don't know what to do since he doesn't think this is a problem, and he said he won't look at it anymore, but he's been going into the history file and clearing it every day, so without installing some type of software, I do not know. I don't want to feel this way, but I am so freaked out by his behavior. Advice, anyone?
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Post by shadowgirl on Jun 4, 2006 3:27:42 GMT -5
i joined just a few minutes ago... :-)
i have a relationship with a man who is miles away from me and is yet to undergo divorce ..he is addicted to porn and is a member of a lot of groups and sites that trade pictures...
he used to be interested in "incest" too but said that he is changing his ways because he loves me...
i hope you can all help me out on what i should do to bring him around.. i am scared that he might tell me that i do not love him because i do not accept him for who he is...
thanks in advance for all who will help :-)
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Post by aliceinwonderland on Jun 4, 2006 9:36:30 GMT -5
Shadowgirl... let me make sure I understand... you are involved with a married man who is a porn addict who "used to" be into incest, and are afraid that he might think you don't love him because you don't approve of all of this???
What do you get from this relationship?
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