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h3h8m3
Sept 16, 2007 11:08:00 GMT -5
Post by t on Sept 16, 2007 11:08:00 GMT -5
h3h8m3, congratulations on your continued sobriety!
Thanks for posting in my journal..."no quarter", as others have labeled, is fine...I'm just looking for thoughtful, reasoned arguments such as yours. I'm more than willing to believe you may be right, but I will probably have to find out for myself. Still, knowing my position, it was gracious of you to repond to my personal journal.
You have a great outlook, h3h8m3, and I'll be praying for you as well...
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h3h8m3
Sept 16, 2007 13:35:38 GMT -5
Post by h3h8m3 on Sept 16, 2007 13:35:38 GMT -5
T-
Thank you for your kind words. I just posted this post in your journal, but I wanted to add a bit more to it here. I don't want to be too wordy or "holy roller" in another person's journal.
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h3h8m3
Sept 16, 2007 13:45:58 GMT -5
Post by h3h8m3 on Sept 16, 2007 13:45:58 GMT -5
I think you just hit on a crucial component of recovery. That being the desire to help others. As we become freed from this horrible addiction there is going to be a joy associated with it. And, just like a freed slave would go back to give the path to freedom to the captive slaves, we desire to bring the paths of freedom to those still trapped in pornography.
You've seen both the good and negative sides of that desire though. It's great when it causes people to support and have faith in others who are seeking recovery, but it's harmful when the desire to "help" manifests itself as judging and dictating. There is a tendancy for us all to believe that what worked for us is the only acceptable way.
12 Step Programs have helped many people gain freedom from sexual addictions. But many people have found them frustrating and ineffective, spending years but gaining no real victory. The SettingCaptivesFree site has given thousands of people freedom from sexual impurity, but yet the majority of people who sign up never finish the course.
Those of us who are so filled with ourselves (this definitely includes me!) have a hard time seeing that other people can accomplish their goals outside of the way we think best. It means that our posts and our attempts to help have a tendancy to come across as smug, arrogent and self righteous.
This same feeling of freedom and a desire to share it extends to the grace of God itself. It is my personal belief that I could never have overcome my pornography addiction without a very real relationship with Jesus. Behavior modification, and principles of psychology were not what led me to victory, but a better understanding of the motives that I needed, and the biblical tools to accomplish it.
So when I want to share about my recovery, how can I do so? I understand that this is not a place for religious arguments, and I want to respect that by not preaching to people. Yet, I firmly believe that, without the living God in my recovery, none of my techniques would have worked.
God bless.
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h3h8m3
Sept 16, 2007 14:13:19 GMT -5
Post by t on Sept 16, 2007 14:13:19 GMT -5
Thanks again for the message. This whole post would have been fine in my journal, because I'm in agreement with you.
Thanks for caring brother!
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h3h8m3
Sept 17, 2007 18:35:56 GMT -5
Post by h3h8m3 on Sept 17, 2007 18:35:56 GMT -5
So I'm starting to see why people don't hang around this board for long.
It seems like the board is stuck in this rut of arguments and failures that make lasting freedom from sexual impurity difficult.
I don't come to this site to fight about semantics, I don't come to this site to fight at all. Yet there's so much of it here, I don't really understand how this place can be healthy.
Between that and the all the dozens of people who come by, seem truly dedicated to recovery, then disappear without a word, it's hard to take the place very seriously.
I'm not sure how long I will hang around. Maybe if I can just avoid the General Board and SO Board I will last longer. I'll give it a try.
I am planning to start working as a mentor over at Setting Captives Free shortly. I feel like my efforts would be much better spent over there.
I'll be praying and thinking about it.
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h3h8m3
Sept 20, 2007 16:22:59 GMT -5
Post by rockwell on Sept 20, 2007 16:22:59 GMT -5
h3h8m3,
I hear ya! I often feel very discouraged coming to this sight and in fact, I wrote about it in my journal today. One redeeming thing is that we can help others who are struggling. And I feel that is part of my mission here. And my journal is so important to my own recovery.
I try to stay out of all the clamour and focus on a few people that really need my encouragement. God does work in mysterious ways.
You are very much appreciated on this board, by me! We need you here. Please stay around for a while.
your friend, rock
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h3h8m3
Sept 21, 2007 20:37:32 GMT -5
Post by t on Sept 21, 2007 20:37:32 GMT -5
I second Rockwell's comments...you are a great encouragement to me and others as well...
I think it's best to concentrate on the ones that you KNOW are indeed an encouragement to your recovery, and who YOU encourage..
Heck, you and I aren't necessarily on the same page all the time, but I appreciate all you say, because you say it with compassion...and it makes me think. If everyone thought like me, it would be hard to grow.
I hope you stick around, but I wish you only the best whatever you decide...
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h3h8m3
Sept 22, 2007 13:22:49 GMT -5
Post by ≈ cease4peace ≈ on Sept 22, 2007 13:22:49 GMT -5
h3h8m3, there's a lot of people here that could use your prayers, and your words of encouragement. There's a lot of people here that could be lifted up because of you, and there are brothers and sisters that could be edified by you. I for one would be saddened to see ya go...
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h3h8m3
Sept 23, 2007 1:09:20 GMT -5
Post by h3h8m3 on Sept 23, 2007 1:09:20 GMT -5
Thanks for the messages guys. Here's another randomly message from H3H8M3. The last few days have been up and down for me. I have not fallen into pornography, but I have been more tempted than I can remember being. Previously it was more accute temptations... ignore it for a few minutes, or an hour, and it's gone. Lately it hasn't seemed to have left. It's been 76 days since I last viewed pornography and masterbated. Never, since I figured out how to do it, have I been that long without masterbation. Not sure on pornography, but probably it's been 10 years or so. I guess I shouldn't expect something that was such a big part of my life for so long to go away in only a couple of months. I know that temptation is not failure, but it's so frustrating. I have been working to follow my own advice: let temptation remind me that I am still a man in need of a savior. I cannot overcome sin of my own power. I am utterly dependant on my Lord. I have been in the Word daily. I have been spending time in prayer, though with a bit of retrospect, I wonder if I have been giving the prayer the right amount of priority and thought. One of the hazards of getting into the "habit" of spending time with the Lord is that it can become nothing more than that, a habit. It's certainly possible that the Lord is using this period of testing to prepare me for something else. I have no right to expect a life free of temptation. But it sure is tiring, you know? When these temptations come upon me I am so tempted to start rattling off the earthly reasons I need to be sexually pure. To honor my wife, to be a good witness, to be a healthy father, etc. All of those things are good consequences of staying pure, but none of them are the only acceptable reason for me to quit. I am a follower of Christ, and as such, all that I do; every single thing, must be for his glory. I can best glorify him by staying the heck away from pornography and masterbation. Yet how do I continually, day after day, submit myself to the Lord so fully? Putting aside all of my own "rights," desires, and priorities, and subjecting them to the over-arching theme of glorifying God... that takes a heck of a lot more than just acknowledging his sovereignty. It takes a deliberate action, not just daily, but hourly, and minute by minute. It takes unending diligence. If you're reading this journal, please pray for me to find peace in the Lord, whatever the circumstances. I think of Horatio Spafford (the man who wrote It Is Well With My Soul), and the amazing grief and agony he must have gone through as he was penning the lyrics. Yet, he could declare, even through the tears, that it was well with his soul. If you don't know that story, you can read about it here. www.webedelic.com/church/well.htmOur kid is due two weeks from today. The wife is starting to have some contractions, but that doesn't mean anything will be happening soon. Considering it's our first kid, we really don't know what to expect. We finally have completely finished the nursery, so there's nothing else needed there. Church is in 9 hours or so, so I should get to bed. I am going to attend Sunday School again (third time in as many weeks, I hadn't gone at all for a lot of years), then the church service. May God bless you as you seek him.
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h3h8m3
Sept 23, 2007 8:22:50 GMT -5
Post by ≈ cease4peace ≈ on Sept 23, 2007 8:22:50 GMT -5
h3h8m3, the Lord knows where you're at, and where you're going to be. I praise him and I thank him for you and your willingness to follow him where ever he goes. I pray that the Lord fills you with his Joy, and I thank him that you are covered by the precious blood of Jesus. I thank the Lord that your garments are washed and are white as snow. I thank the Lord that your sins are cast into the sea of the forgotten, and that you are declared righteous not by your standards or by your works but by the blood of Jesus. I thank the Lord that you are entering a new season in your life, one where your relationship with God will grow. I pray that the Lord gives you wisdom and discernment within the weeks to come, as you become a father and a leader in your household. Be thankful that the Good Lord is your Shepard and is walking with you. Although sometimes we can't understand what's going on, in the end, we can see it is for our best. If you need any prayer at any time you can always email me, I am here for you.
c4p
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h3h8m3
Sept 25, 2007 13:38:04 GMT -5
Post by rockwell on Sept 25, 2007 13:38:04 GMT -5
h3h8m3,
It sonds like both of us had a tough week last week! Thank you so much for your PM and your prayers. I also have kept you in my prayers recently.
I am also doing much better as well. Journaling is a gift. Because as we are going through trials, we can write how we feel. Once we go through the storm and are on the other side, we can look back and see how God brought us through.
You have a lot of wisdom in your journal. Keep writing, praying, following the LORD. Since a big transition time is coming, depend on him more because more triggers will be on the way. And this is no time to quit this board. We need you and you need us! Thanks for your presence here. You may not be fully aware of it now, but God is using you on this board. He works in mysterious ways.
Your friend, rock
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timetochange
Full Member
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13)
Posts: 108
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h3h8m3
Sept 25, 2007 21:08:48 GMT -5
Post by timetochange on Sept 25, 2007 21:08:48 GMT -5
I agree with Rockwell. You have been an inspiration to me personally, and I think many others here would say the same thing. I would love to see you stay here. However, you must pray about it with God and see what he thinks.
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h3h8m3
Sept 27, 2007 10:49:14 GMT -5
Post by h3h8m3 on Sept 27, 2007 10:49:14 GMT -5
Thank you for the kind and encouraging words guys. It is very much appreciated.
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h3h8m3
Sept 27, 2007 11:01:23 GMT -5
Post by h3h8m3 on Sept 27, 2007 11:01:23 GMT -5
Last night I was reading the book Humility, by Andrew Murrey. It's a fantastic book, and I recommend it.
The author's contention is that the key to our fall from the life God intended for us (through Adam and Eve) was pride. And the key to our redemption back toward the life God intends for us (personally) is humility.
It is by keeping our eyes on Jesus that we see the ultimate example of humility. Jesus, who is of his very nature God, humbled himself to come to earth and die for us!
His book made a great point. I've been fond of the saying, "Let me decrease so that you may increase in me." But Murrey made the point that we CANNOT decrease unless he is increasing. There is no other way for our pride to die but for Christ to live.
I pray that I may see Christ's own humility so clearly that I cannot help but be humbled by it.
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h3h8m3
Sept 27, 2007 13:31:13 GMT -5
Post by 4given on Sept 27, 2007 13:31:13 GMT -5
Perhaps I'm late in joining the chorus of supporters but you should know I have been inspired by your posts. I was humbled that you invited me to join "Followers of Christ" when I had no real home on this site. I seldom visit the general board anymore because (as you mentioned above) there are those here who are a source of discouragement rather than a support. We have a kindred situation in that we are both expectant fathers and just beginning in our life of recovery. I hope you choose to stick around. This is a better place because of you.
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