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Post by belikejob on Jul 23, 2006 0:19:56 GMT -5
Hey valjean (mike), thanks for that. Yeah, it's really freeing to give up myspace. There are so many things out there that can slow us down in our recovery, and sometimes we don't even realize that these things have a big effect on us- until they're gone. You're right, it was the right decision...no doubt. Thanks for all you're doing on the 100 day thread. Keep up the good work bro. BLJ
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Post by 1Cor10 on Jul 23, 2006 11:16:01 GMT -5
Having a good weekend? Any luck getting out to exercise with the wife? Keep up the good work.
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Post by belikejob on Jul 23, 2006 23:39:29 GMT -5
Hey, I've had a great weekend. It's pretty hot so the women are wearing a lot less. Doing my best to bounce my eyes. Sometimes I don't try hard enough though. As far as working out... we didn't do that great this last week keeping at it consistently. Maybe this week will be different... We'll see. You're doing great bro. Stay strong. BLJ
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Post by MrOuch on Jul 24, 2006 0:04:04 GMT -5
BLJ,
I must admit, in summer it is difficult to keep one's gaze in a respectable orbit. Keep trying though.
I remember going out to eat with my grandfather a few years back. As the waitress was leaving to put in our order he made a comment to me about her bountiful attributes. I reminded him that he was married. His response was "It don't cost nothing to look at the menu." Now I realize that for me, there is a price. That lingering look is the first course of a bacchanalian feast that I no longer want any part of. It's tough to do, but sometimes you got to try.
Grace and Peace
V
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Post by belikejob on Jul 24, 2006 2:51:37 GMT -5
Right on MrOuch,
I've heard so many guys make that same type of comment... "It's ok to window shop, just don't buy"..."Oh, I know I won't cheat, and what kind of man doesn't look anyway?"..."It don't cost nothing to look at the menu". Or, "We are both secure in our relationship, it's ok. It's only a problem for the people who are insecure about their relationship and themselves". All those sayings are made to make the you feel like you're in the minority, that you're not a real man if you don't look, or you don't have a strong, trusting relationship with your SO if you won't let each other "look at the menu".
As Christians, we know that we're held to a higher standard than that. Jesus didn't tell us that visual lust was the same as adultery just to spoil all of our fun. But honestly, whether you believe in what Jesus says or not, it's pretty hard not to see the damage it does. If "just looking" was really that harmless then why do boards like this exist? Why do over 50% of marriages in America fail? Why are there so many sex crimes committed day after day? I'd be willing to bet that most of this started with "just looking".
(Yes, I know there is a difference between innocently thinking that someone is beautiful and visually lusting over them.. i.e. "just looking")
There is plenty of motivation for me to keep up the good fight and to do all that I can to keep my eyes from looking lustfully at a girl... I can't give in and accept that "just looking" is normal... not with the things I've witnessed in my lifetime.
Stay Strong BeLikeJob
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Post by 1Cor10 on Jul 25, 2006 13:52:22 GMT -5
BLJ,
That is what I hope to find in the journal of my recovery partner. That is the voice of someone on the path to winning this fight. Sounds great brother, I'm proud of you.
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oscar
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by oscar on Jul 26, 2006 3:10:03 GMT -5
Hi belikejob, I have read your journal from the beginning and I have to say that your story has been very encouraging to read (with all the struggles AND success). I hope all the best for you and I try to follow you on a path to a recovery and clean life. So far it has been good, although it is only day 5 for me since I decided to quit P and related things. I have had many shorter and longer periods of sobriety but eventually I have returned to the "poisonous well". This time it will be different, I'm willing to sacrifice all what it takes to get rid of this awful lifestyle, or better: caricature of lifestyle. It is very strange that although we get to taste a life without P and value and love it over everything (=every other lifestyle), something wants drag us into the darkness and secrecy again, and usually succeeds in it too. If in those moments of temptations we just could remember how it feels live a life like that, how empty, shameful and corrupting it was. It is almost like if you had a cosy and beautiful house, in which your family lived in, which you would not sell for anything, and then in some dark moment of night you would go to the first suspicious stranger you see and give it away for nothing. No, that is not an option for us anymore! For which we should be thankful Blessings, oscar
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Post by 1Cor10 on Jul 26, 2006 16:05:01 GMT -5
BLJ,
How's things going today Brother? You feeling good and strong? Did you ever hear from the rest of the sober six? Be well, I'm praying for you my Friend.
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Post by belikejob on Jul 26, 2006 19:20:05 GMT -5
Hey Oscar, It is very strange that although we get to taste a life without P and value and love it over everything (=every other lifestyle), something wants drag us into the darkness and secrecy again, and usually succeeds in it too. If in those moments of temptations we just could remember how it feels live a life like that, how empty, shameful and corrupting it was. That's true... You would think we were crazy- how we taste happiness in our life without it and still want to go back. But in all honesty, when you are in the moment... it IS "fun and enjoyable" to sin. I mean, if it wasn't, would any of us really have a problem stopping? Just because it is fun or enjoyable doesn't mean it's good though. As you can see from so many posts on this board, sin is destructive. It may be enjoyable at the moment, but it ALWAYS leads to pain, suffering, and death (spiritually if not physically). It is almost like if you had a cosy and beautiful house, in which your family lived in, which you would not sell for anything, and then in some dark moment of night you would go to the first suspicious stranger you see and give it away for nothing. No, that is not an option for us anymore! For which we should be thankful That's right... it's NOT an option! I like this comparison. In our weakest moments, we are only too eager to throw away everything that we've worked so hard for. It just shows me how much more I have to depend on God to get me through those weak times. Thanks for writing. I hope all the best for you also! Stay strong in the good fight! IT'S WORTH IT!!! God bless Oscar BeLikeJob
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Post by belikejob on Jul 26, 2006 19:21:56 GMT -5
Hey 1Cor10, feeling great today. I'm still praying for you too. No, I haven't heard from them yet. Hopefully everything's ok. Stay strong bro.
BLJ
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Post by MrOuch on Jul 27, 2006 22:40:50 GMT -5
I agree with you 100% there. That's why we stay vigilant to make sure our hard work stands up to temptation. Oh yeah, and don't forget who helped us get this far.
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Post by 1Cor10 on Jul 28, 2006 14:38:41 GMT -5
BLJ, holding on and making way. How are you today my Brother?
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Post by belikejob on Jul 29, 2006 2:48:58 GMT -5
Hey bro, Things are going well. Very busy with work lately... of course it helps me to stay clean, but keeps me out of the gym. I come home from work and the last thing I feel like doing is working out . I suggested to my wife tonight that maybe we should start writing on the calender when we want to workout. Day and time... that way we can schedule it ahead of time into the busy week instead of working out 'just when we feel like it'. Hopefully that will help We'll see. BLJ
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Post by choselife on Jul 30, 2006 2:31:27 GMT -5
Hey, BeLikeJob. You're sounding strong. Nothing much to add right now, other than to let you know that I am rooting for you.
CL
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Post by belikejob on Jul 31, 2006 0:21:57 GMT -5
Thanks so much CL, I like what you wrote under your name... "I am committed to sobriety/recovery and shall succeed!" Awesome attitude! Thanks for all of the support and encouragement you bring to the board day after day BLJ P.S. I'm rooting for you too
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