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Post by megan11 on Dec 13, 2007 16:00:49 GMT -5
My H meds have been upped just in time for them to finally start working. A man who never talked, does nothing but talk now. He will talk about anything, and WANTS to talk and tell me all about everything, like its a date night! Yes, So, Tonight i think we should sit down and i can tell you all about my internet adventures. After all you saw everything i looked at, maybe i can explain my though process at the time and HELP YOU understand the way i WAS a little bit........ Yeah.. After 2 SAA meetings and a therapy appt all within 5 days, plus the wondeful meds he is really alot like um...someone i dont Fing know? Yes, that fits! He is afraid of me leaving even for a night because he knows i would be happier without him and i wouldnt come back, when i say "me" leaving it would be me and my kids, my kids are ME. He checks my kids (and has been for a few weeks now) before bed and too look at them. Hasnt tried to have sex with me, and says he heard me when i told him i havnt had a sex drive and said he will wait for me, wait without MB or P, because it would be selfish of him to ask knowing i dont want any. He explained his whole myspace thing to me last night and it fricken made perfect sense! IMAGINE THAT! He talks ALOT about how beautiful his kids are, something that the old H wouldnt do. He would agree, but never be man enough to say it. Its odd. He told me that this isnt like everything else, everything else he could scrape on by with not giving it his all, school, work, and so on. This is hard work and he cant not do it hard, or quick because he cant lose me and the girls. Can i tell you that he rubbed my back last night without trying any funny stuff! Made us dinner 2 nights, since Wed! Told me.....................GET THIS.............................. He would FINALLY paint my daughters room this weekend, and he would do it WITH A SMILE!!!!! ;D Hahahaha... Well, that was only after he said no, and i told him i would go find myself a manly man to do it then, thats when he said he would do it, and even with a smille, LOL (Lets see if it actually gets done though,,,..) Soooooooooooo, I am annoyed that the closest SO SAA meeting is an hour and a half from me, so i am called for a packet of my very own, to start a meeting near me. How about that!
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Post by LookingUp on Dec 13, 2007 17:18:18 GMT -5
Wow. That's a 180 for sure. Praying he keeps up the momentum and regains your trust and love.
Congratulations on starting a SAA meeting near you. Let me know how that goes because I've been considering doing that, too.
LookingUp
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Post by ellen38 on Dec 13, 2007 18:02:44 GMT -5
care to share???
ellen
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Post by completelydone on Dec 13, 2007 18:53:12 GMT -5
Hmmmmmmmmmm...................... maybe drugs would work well for all of us! Truth serum would be a really good drug to get a hold of, don't you think? Yes, I think that's the drug for me!
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Post by zerotolerance on Dec 13, 2007 20:02:43 GMT -5
Humm, it sounds like he got a little dose of reality maybe. However, he still has a LOT of work to do, and few days does not really make a new man. Just like we can get sanity back intermittently, so can they with or without meds, but the challenge is being able to keep honing it, and esp to be able to maintain it. That's a test only time will tell. In the meantime, I hope you at least get that room painted! When my h talks to much or is too attentive it's just another red flag for me, but he never sought recovery. But still it's kind of scary too huh? Your story reminds of when the kids are babies, and we can't wait for them to talk, then by the time they are toddlers, we start wishing they'd be quiet again. lol!!! I just hope he don't drive you nuts going to far over in the opposite direction. It sounds like he's really "wired" up. I could probably use some of what he's having!
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Post by megan11 on Dec 14, 2007 11:08:33 GMT -5
ZT we could ALL use some of what he has, LOL ok, So, we didnt get around to our talk last night because i had a hissy fit. I ASKED HIM if he touched a specific (skinny lady fronted) DVD and he said no, i explained i put it somewhere and it was moved, then i went to bed. He was mad because he knew what i had implied. I told him i would ask the kids in the morning. When i woke the kids were playing with the DVDs. I didnt apologize because i didnt accuse, i asked. He on the other hand said he was mad last night BUT it was ok and he is sure there will be more times like this because of all he has done....ugh LOL So, as far as the myspace goes, it makes sense, not in MY WAY of making sense but in the way of a P/MB addict. When i would work he explained that out of a 5hr work span he would be on the internet for about 3hrs! (yes i wanted to kick him because he was suposed to be watching my kids) But he was looking local on his searches and that looks to me that he was looking for a hook up. He never chatted with anyone, and the email he had connected to the myspace wasnt an email, till i made it one, LOL So, he had to narrow the searched down because there were too many women to look at, yeah i know RIIIIIGHT. Well, It made sense. He was on myspace and found one of those girl pages that said "click here to see more" he did, he liked and he was on the hunt for more of those. He explained that in his crazed mind he had to click all the pages in order to find more like that. If he searched all women he would sometimes have to close out and remember , "OK i was on page 63 of the search" so he HAD to go back to page 63 to continue. If he looked local it wasnt that many pages. He couldnt leave without clicking it all, he HAD to click, or go back to where he left off. He was demented. So, once again i will have to wait for tonight because i didnt care to hear it last night, LOL to fill you all in on the rest. Interesting, huh?
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Post by megan11 on Dec 14, 2007 11:10:19 GMT -5
And ZT, you are right, i really wish he would just shut up. This is a man who never spoke, not even when arguing, it was always one sided, ME! now he talks more than my 5 year old girl, and with the meds upped, i am scared, LOL
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Post by Webmaster on Dec 14, 2007 13:10:01 GMT -5
If he is willing to paint the room, he's a better man than me! My wife won't let me touch a paint brush (and I don't complain too much).
On a more serious side, if he's been going to meetings and therapy, he has already been doing a lot of talking. Talking about something he's been afraid to talk about. He may be learning that it isn't that scary and perhaps his feelings about you make him want to share with you more than anyone else. In SA, they warn new members not to disclose too soon in their early euphoria. They advise to wait until more real healing has occured. They don't say Keep Secrets, but they suggest that a period of sobriety may prepare both partners more for disclosure and the serious pain (but pain that can heal) that results.
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Post by cindyandben on Dec 14, 2007 14:09:23 GMT -5
I am so hopeful for both of you. It would be a wonderful Christmas gift to everyone if your husband were able to begin the healing process sincerely.
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 14, 2007 14:43:46 GMT -5
Oh Megan, lol. I am glad to ead this. Really, I am.
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Post by megan11 on Dec 14, 2007 15:40:46 GMT -5
We went out to get a new refill of his meds, then him and i and our 3 year old little one went to lunch together. All went well. We had to take a bit of a drive (an hour) and i found myself venting both ways. He listened, both ways. My main vent was just explaining that this wasnt wwhat i signed up for, i have plenty of places to up and leave too, and plenty of people to help me and the girls get settled. Then i asked him if he was having a nice drive (joke) and he laughed and asked if we were almost there yet (he was driving) I also found myself venting about our marriage councellor, he agreed that the councellor is very good for him but not good for me, i need more. Then i (expletive)ed about them having a SAA meeting here ten minutes from our home for him but nothing but al-anon meetings for me, that makes me mad. (thats why i am going to make a group, just have to wait for the info) So, i will fill you all in later after his "adventures on the internet" talk. Durring lunch he winked at me, it was kinda nice but wont get my hopes up.
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 14, 2007 16:04:54 GMT -5
The good moments keep us going, huh?
H & I were up until 2 am last talking & such. It sure was nice. I learned a few new things about him & he asked some questions about me & my crap. We were sharing & that always feels awesome, to me.
I think it's awesome (my word for the day, lol) that you are starting your own group. If H or I wanted to go to a meeting, we too would have to drive an hour to two hours, one way. I have considered doing something like that but wasn't if I could or really should. Thank you for the inspiration.
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Post by megan11 on Dec 14, 2007 17:44:21 GMT -5
Mr Webmaster, i think you may have something there. Yes, i snoop and i found something he wrote (yesterday) that is freaky after reading your post! Oh and he has been claiming he has been MB/P free for the past 11 months since being caught, i just havnt believed him. (even though he did tell me about the one time he almost did, right before telling me he needed to see someone (a therapist)
"Tonight I will be talking to my wife about my pa/ma. I'm gonna tell her about what I did on the internet. I feel like she needs to know what I was doing, what I was thinking as I acted out. I have to face my addiction and my fears head on. I'm scared to death of what I am about to do, but I think it is necessary for both of our recoveries. "
Um, can you see how i am a bit freaked out after reading your post, LOL I take it you have been there? That would be how you know where he is coming from? WOW!
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Post by Mayberry on Dec 14, 2007 17:55:12 GMT -5
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Post by megan11 on Dec 14, 2007 18:16:04 GMT -5
Mayberry i have never heard that song before, but i am sure i will have it playing often in my home. It a very fitting song, thanks! For some reason this reminds me of a fortune i got from my fortune cookie today while we were at lunch. I read it to H then told him i would have to think about it for a while, LOL ( I plan on asking him later if he would like to think about what it may mean, to him LOL)
The fortune read: If it's meant to be, who are you to change that? It's time to believe it.
And on the back was the word "Hopeful" then it showed you how to spell the word "Hopeful" in Chinese and say it in Chinese. Go figure.
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