Post by BlackSpiral on Oct 12, 2007 11:56:46 GMT -5
I posted this yesterday in my journal, but I figure it belongs here too really...
Four Years Sober
Hurrah! Pop the cork on a bottle of champagne, and then...well, empty it. Not a big fan of champagne - just give me a plain bottle of water and we'll be fine. Anyway, today marks four years sober for me. I don't bother day counting, of course - I'm just aware of the day I got sober, so when it comes around again, I see it. Sometimes, anyway. At least once it's passed me by without me really remembering, but today's not one of those.
I was thinking today about what I've learned in the last year or so of my sobriety; every year, I seem to discover something new, and usually those things are for the good. This year, probably the biggest discovery I've made is the necessity (for me, at least) of including other things in my life; that some things I'd considered to be superficial, or secondary in my life, are actually very important to my mental well-being. They seem minor on the outside, but it's what they represent or achieve on the inside that's important.
I suppose those things could be anything. Sport, exercise, music, writing, reading, cooking, walking, photography, art, you name it - I suppose they're all, in their own way, some kind of connection with or expression of something in the soul, something that really needs to be allowed to come out. When it's not given that freedom, it grows stifled; and when it's stifled, that affects everything else. The same thing happens when it's given freedom and allowed to fly - everything around it grows brighter.
Some kind of key, perhaps?
Overall, though, it's been another good year. As always, recovery is an adaptive animal - some boundaries I've relaxed, others I've tightened, and my recovery feels like it's moved forward again. I don't believe for one moment that a single, static plan is enough to achieve sobriety, recovery and personal growth all as one big group - you may achieve some of it, but not all, and certainly not all that you could. We have to grow; and our recovery has to grow along with us, to cope with the changes in us and the changes in the world around us.
The thing is, by this point, it's very natural to make these changes. I don't spend my days worrying about slipping or failing, or trying to work out what I have to do to keep my recovery and sobriety on track. Instead, I live my life; it's the freedom I always wanted, without the addiction or my struggle against it clouding every day. Day to day, I just live - and when things come up that I need to deal with, I deal with them.
Well...my wife and I deal with them, really. Like every other year, she's been my solid support and companion throughout it. Without her, I wouldn't have made it to two months, never mind four years.
But here I am - and I can't complain! Four years down, the rest of my life to go, and I'm in a very good place today. The strangest thing of all is that four years sounds like such a long time, but at the same time, it seems like such a short time - it's one of those things that feels like it's here to stay, and in the grand scheme, I'm still only at the beginning of this journey.
I wonder what I'm going to learn about myself and my recovery in the next year...
Four Years Sober
Hurrah! Pop the cork on a bottle of champagne, and then...well, empty it. Not a big fan of champagne - just give me a plain bottle of water and we'll be fine. Anyway, today marks four years sober for me. I don't bother day counting, of course - I'm just aware of the day I got sober, so when it comes around again, I see it. Sometimes, anyway. At least once it's passed me by without me really remembering, but today's not one of those.
I was thinking today about what I've learned in the last year or so of my sobriety; every year, I seem to discover something new, and usually those things are for the good. This year, probably the biggest discovery I've made is the necessity (for me, at least) of including other things in my life; that some things I'd considered to be superficial, or secondary in my life, are actually very important to my mental well-being. They seem minor on the outside, but it's what they represent or achieve on the inside that's important.
I suppose those things could be anything. Sport, exercise, music, writing, reading, cooking, walking, photography, art, you name it - I suppose they're all, in their own way, some kind of connection with or expression of something in the soul, something that really needs to be allowed to come out. When it's not given that freedom, it grows stifled; and when it's stifled, that affects everything else. The same thing happens when it's given freedom and allowed to fly - everything around it grows brighter.
Some kind of key, perhaps?
Overall, though, it's been another good year. As always, recovery is an adaptive animal - some boundaries I've relaxed, others I've tightened, and my recovery feels like it's moved forward again. I don't believe for one moment that a single, static plan is enough to achieve sobriety, recovery and personal growth all as one big group - you may achieve some of it, but not all, and certainly not all that you could. We have to grow; and our recovery has to grow along with us, to cope with the changes in us and the changes in the world around us.
The thing is, by this point, it's very natural to make these changes. I don't spend my days worrying about slipping or failing, or trying to work out what I have to do to keep my recovery and sobriety on track. Instead, I live my life; it's the freedom I always wanted, without the addiction or my struggle against it clouding every day. Day to day, I just live - and when things come up that I need to deal with, I deal with them.
Well...my wife and I deal with them, really. Like every other year, she's been my solid support and companion throughout it. Without her, I wouldn't have made it to two months, never mind four years.
But here I am - and I can't complain! Four years down, the rest of my life to go, and I'm in a very good place today. The strangest thing of all is that four years sounds like such a long time, but at the same time, it seems like such a short time - it's one of those things that feels like it's here to stay, and in the grand scheme, I'm still only at the beginning of this journey.
I wonder what I'm going to learn about myself and my recovery in the next year...