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Post by witness on Dec 23, 2005 6:41:42 GMT -5
Hollywood certainly doesn’t try to make things easy for us. Last night I was watching a “cops and robbers” movie with my family. The guy’s girlfriend was wearing a skimpy little dress. I saw her but then looked away. Then I tried not to think about it. But sometimes that is like trying not to think about Pink Elephants. (You know what I mean?) Anyway it went okay and I am doing okay. I know there will always be plenty of temptations. I’m just trying to “head them off at the pass” so that they won’t get the best of me.
So here I am ready to stay clean just for today, with His help.
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Post by witness on Dec 25, 2005 13:02:16 GMT -5
60 DAYS! Thank the Lord for helping me up till now.
I look forward to a New Year with more victories!
Clean and Free! Just for today!
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Post by witness on Dec 28, 2005 6:51:20 GMT -5
I just read this quote:
There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.
I'm so happy not to have anything to hide! I want to be honest. I want to be free. Just for today!
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Post by jh on Dec 28, 2005 10:12:14 GMT -5
Hi Witness
Congrats on over 60 days, you are doing a good job.
I am with you on the honesty thing. Something that I realised is that I became addicted because I got weaker on many of God's standards, not only His sexual standards. Honesty is certainly one of the big ones.
Keep up the good work.
- jh
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Post by witness on Dec 29, 2005 8:27:35 GMT -5
Here is a quote from one of my favorite authors, John Stott:
Romans 8:13 suggests that we need to redefine both life and death. What the world calls life (a desirable self-indulgence) leads to alienation from God which in reality is death, whereas the putting to death of all perceived evil within us, which the world sees as an undesirable self-abnegation, is in reality the way to authentic life.
I want LIFE, real life! That life means putting to death my own selfishness. Die addiction! Let me live a real life with purpose and meaning, just for today!
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Post by witness on Dec 31, 2005 5:58:01 GMT -5
Yesterday I was out and faced more temptation than usual. There were several girls in provocative attire. I tried not looking and also looking away, but I did not do as well as I should have.
I cannot, I must not, lose my resolve. To me the most positive thing about it all is that it served as a reminder of how easy it is to fall back into old patterns. It reminded me that I am still just beginning this journey and that I can NEVER think that I have this licked.
It is a battle. It is not easy. I will be tempted. I must be ready. I must avoid every hint of sexual impurity. I must do this day by day, minute by minute. A slip can happen in an instant.
Lord, help me rely on YOU! Help me stay alert. Keep my thoughts pure. Help me see women as creatures made by you, loved by you and in need of you. Help me look in their eyes and see their souls.
Help me stay clean, just for today, with your help! I want to be free and I cannot do it alone.
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Post by witness on Dec 31, 2005 7:45:02 GMT -5
I just saw this and wanted to post it:
J. M. Barrie, the playwright, wrote, “God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.”
Of course he was talking about GOOD memories. That is one of the biggest blessings of recovery. I'm slowly getting rid of those "tapes" of scenes that I don't want haunting me. I feel light and free when my mind is filled with good thoughts. I want memories that are like roses on a cold, dreary day!
Lord, make my life new! Help me live for you! May today be a day of making memories that can be recalled with pleasure!
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Post by lmaj76 on Jan 1, 2006 22:54:00 GMT -5
Hi Witness:
Your use of quotes and verses in your posts are a great blessing! Verses in the bible is so powerful as this is a weapon of spiritual warfare against the father of lies, the author of all "arguments, theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God." (2 Cor. 10:4-5).
Good point in your previous post that we are in a battle and Ephesians 6:12 states that we are not wrestling with flesh and blood but with principalities; rulers of present darkness and against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere. If we see this battle with eyes of faith or in a spiritual context one will realize that this battle /war is bigger than us it has been going on since time began.
So keep strong you are on the right side of the fence! Keep looking UP! I have you in my prayers.
God Bless
L
inxs: "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer, check this book out. Good resource.
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Post by jh on Jan 2, 2006 6:00:37 GMT -5
Hi Witness.
Fighting this battle at its roots is not easy, but you are doing good. I find inspiration in how you put effort into living for God. Keep it up.
- jh
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Post by witness on Jan 2, 2006 6:35:49 GMT -5
I have no doubt but that the ONLY way to beat this is to attack the root causes. I continue to be tempted. But I am fighting the battle to look the other way and to not allow myself to think impure thoughts.
As I write that I suddenly remembered that I had a dream about some sexually illicit images. But I am working to push all of that out of my mind.
I feel so much better when I can go hours without thinking about it. I feel light and free. I hope that the time will come when I can go days without an impure thought.
A new year is here and there will be daily battles to be faced. I pray for strength and vigilance to be prepared for every attack. I must not let my guard down. I don't want to ever go back to the slim pits of P.
Help me, Lord, live this day for you, with your help, for your honor and glory!
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Post by witness on Jan 3, 2006 6:07:32 GMT -5
We all know this is a fight.
I read something last night that I found interesting in Genesis 4 where God is talking to Cain, after Cain is upset with his brother Abel, but before Cain kills Abel. Genesis 4:6 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
I think that last part describes what we are up against. Sin is crouching at my door. It desires to have me. I must master it.
I was talking with a friend the other day who said that there is always a certain amount of time between the thought or desire and the action. It is there that we must wage the battle.
In the past when I would give in to my weakness the time between the thought and the fall would be short and I did nothing to stop it.
Now, as soon as the desire or thought pops into my head I try to "master" the thought. I try to eliminate it immediately. I know that if I don't I will end up dominated by it. So I try to act decisively and quickly. That has been one of the main reasons why this attempt has worked so far.
So here I am, fighting to stay clean, just for today, with His help!
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Post by jh on Jan 3, 2006 6:57:52 GMT -5
Witness I agree 100% with what you wrote. As a Christian I often wondered why I struggle so much with sin. Should things not be easier after we have been saved? I think the scripture you quoted holds the key: we have to master sin, we have to do something at its roots, if we continuously allow a little sin to sneak into our lives it won't be long before it masters us and that is what happened to most, if not all of us regarding lust.
I am still with you, fighting to stay clean, just for today, with His help!
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Post by lizardking on Jan 3, 2006 11:58:01 GMT -5
Witness,
I've enjoyed catching up with your journal this morning. You are doing so well and are so strong these days, and I know that means a lot to you. And it means a lot to me as well.
Thanks for sharing with us, by doing so you give us all hope and a boost for our own efforts!
LizardKing
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Post by lmaj76 on Jan 3, 2006 23:55:24 GMT -5
Hey Witness:
Your entries testifies to which your strength comes from ..I am blessed reading your journal. Continue being a WITNESS of what God has done and what HE is still about to do in your life!
God Bless!
L
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Post by witness on Jan 4, 2006 6:36:35 GMT -5
I appreciate the words of encouragement.
While my recovery is going okay I feel anything but strong. But weakness can be good too.
Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to HIM belong. They are WEAK, but He is STRONG.
Help me, Lord. I can't make it without you.
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