cammy
Full Member
Posts: 221
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Post by cammy on Dec 19, 2007 10:46:55 GMT -5
Hi,
Today is tough. I am working from home, have done this before. Mrs. Cammy is seeing her doc as she is now in her 9th month of first pregnancy and I can't be there. My brother called last night to let us know about his new baby, born yesterday, and we were up last night facing our fears.
I am here because I have a client to see today and travel from my home is cheaper for my customer. This client has some predictors of violence and I told Mrs. Cammy about this. She will call me at a certain time and if I say a safeword the police will be called. This happening is extremely unlikely but it is on the radar screen. I am worried for her, I am worried for me and because of my addiction (or maybe because of who I am resulting in this addiction) I have a very limited social circle. Frankly, I feel pretty much alone today and not happy about it.
I will not use P. But here it is, bald and simple: I need to know I'm not on an island cause today has a lot of stress..
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Post by 1dayatatime on Dec 19, 2007 10:56:52 GMT -5
Ask and you shall receive.
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 19, 2007 10:59:05 GMT -5
Want to keep the monkey off your back?
Don't feed it!
Ok--so what KIND of support would you like?
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Post by eljefemaz on Dec 19, 2007 11:00:37 GMT -5
Good morning, Cammy:
Wow, you have some big things swirling around you. Baby #1 is a big deal - I know, my Baby #2 is approaching 4 months old.
My big message for you is this: you are not alone. Yeah, I am just some guy saying this out in cyberspace, but truly, my thoughts are with you today.
For today, be well. Be reaffirmed: No P or MB today. You are not your addiction, and you can be well today.
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cammy
Full Member
Posts: 221
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Post by cammy on Dec 19, 2007 11:01:42 GMT -5
The kind of support where somebody has faith in my ability to manage today.
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 19, 2007 11:03:38 GMT -5
Twas a man wrote a little ditty twas such an awful pity even though he had dared twasnt read, no one cared now he's breakingfree with bad hair
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Post by Mayberry on Dec 19, 2007 11:11:49 GMT -5
Cammy: This little affirmation has been doing a lot for me in my daily struggles. Perhaps it will also speak to you? "There are no “good” days or “bad” days. I can do what needs to be done at all times." I believe in you and have absolute faith in your ability to manage today (even if your day, as it seems it is, is one with a built-in safe word--EEEEK! Gotta hate days that need safe words!) Many thoughts are with you today, and I join mine with them!
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cammy
Full Member
Posts: 221
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Post by cammy on Dec 19, 2007 11:12:20 GMT -5
Thanks guys. CV - I don't get the limerick. I mean, other than BF has bad hair. Of which, I must say, you make an excellent judge. LOL
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Post by Healing Rain on Dec 19, 2007 11:12:36 GMT -5
Here for you Cammy... and I have faith that you can manage today. Just keep your mind set on the future you are trying to create and not what you have left behind.
Think of all the wonderful moments that the new baby is going to bring, and not the fear of the change or possibilities of troubles. Babies are a true wonder and blessing. There is nothing sweeter on this earth than a newborn baby cuddled into thier fathers arms. Think on that.
My thoughts are with you, stay strong and true to yourself and your wife.
~Rain~
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susan
Junior Member
Posts: 96
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Post by susan on Dec 19, 2007 11:15:54 GMT -5
We can't do much about our yesterdays. I heard a saying a while back, and I find it applies to all kinds of moments.
"Do the next right thing".
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cammy
Full Member
Posts: 221
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Post by cammy on Dec 19, 2007 11:19:02 GMT -5
I will not use P. That will not happen. Instead I am feeling an emotion(s) I wouldn't otherwise have to deal with. Fear. Real fear, not the "I may do an incomplete job and somebody will notice" kind of fear. Fear as in - today I am risking my family's sense of security.
It is not a realistic fear but it is here today all the same.
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Post by Mayberry on Dec 19, 2007 11:21:39 GMT -5
Cammy: Are your guts telling you not to visit this person today? If so, please listen. Can you meet the person in a private room at a local public place? Many libraries have meeting rooms? Churches? Local copy-shops here have small meeting rooms that can be rented? Just a thought. J
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 19, 2007 11:28:37 GMT -5
Best wishes. You are heard. And you are not alone in this.
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cammy
Full Member
Posts: 221
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Post by cammy on Dec 19, 2007 11:29:45 GMT -5
My guts are telling me it should be OK client wise. I've done this a few times before and know what to do, what to look for, when to get up and go. My emotions are out of whack. Just out of whack. That can't be the case because those have to be in control. I'll get it together. And this helps. Thank you very, very much.
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 19, 2007 11:42:50 GMT -5
cammy was breakingfree and a chasmjumper too. He ran like a three legged dog using his gracebyfaith to work 1dayatatime because he had betterthingsinlife to do than neil before lamebetrayed acting out. He was clean2day and learning2bebetter so he could begin anew and not sail like a curious voyager into Healing Rain. Things were lookingup for the brighterside being completelydone with addiction and deaconblues was playing in the Rorke's Drift accompanied by MrOuch on the capillarain with lead vocals by SouthernGuy who could belt out Big Country tunes.
Things are good today in Mayberry because ingodwetrust not to falter and have darknessfalls on our weepingwillow heads. Cammy knows imtheoneincontrol doesn't matter if he slips and somedood isn't there to catch sillyrabbit with zerotolerance for cereal from being hurtandlonely and 2tiredtodeal with excuses. CindyandBen would be devastated and there would be no hugs4u002 and no amount of AmazingGrace would bear witness to neverending heartsinhealing dazedandconfused by hurtmylove. So Cammy will go stepbystep until ItsTime and he is facingit and able to choselife over googles bad searches and eat a straightpepperdiet with cheese and yackers.
Then serenity4me time will belong to cammy who can work from home like a JohnG should.
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