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Post by alyson on Dec 18, 2007 8:12:35 GMT -5
One of my husbands 'excuses' is that his drive is high and if he didnt mb he would be constantly pestering me, or be lustful towards any female passing?! He said' if you imagine the horniest you have ever been and times it by 40 (cos app. thats how much more testosterone he has then I)thats how i feel on a daily basis'. I dont imagine that is a normal level. Then again I guess i really have no idea. He recconed all men were this high. I wondered whether he really is naturally this horny or is he addicted to the feeling of o. Any answers?
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 18, 2007 8:34:54 GMT -5
B.S. , I used that old chestnut on Mrs. BF(my wife of 22 years) for 15 years. Trust me, her response is much stronger than my B.S. Actually, her response was entirely correct, apparently my head DOES fit up there.
Stay strong.
bf
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Post by alyson on Dec 18, 2007 9:42:12 GMT -5
so what would be a 'normal' level? I thought 1ce or 2wice a wk was enough? I appreciate your honesty. (by the way I saw the smiley at the side and clicked it thinking it was a smile and accidently ignored you for a moment there!)
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 18, 2007 9:44:59 GMT -5
There is no actual normal. Everey couple will find an even keel if not contaminated by pop culture.
Man lie #1--I am a giant walking penis in need.
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Post by P on Dec 18, 2007 9:48:31 GMT -5
My husband use to use this excuse too. The fact was that is was the truth. He was always so charged up on porn and thoughts of people and porn ,that is sex drive was through the roof. It wasn't real though. It was porn induced. When porn and mb was involved he never had to try with me, he just turned to his easy fix and then claimed he had a higher sex drive.
Since he has stopped porn and mb our libidos have come into almost perfect sync.
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 18, 2007 9:58:05 GMT -5
Exactly, not even remotely close to being real.
Very true, it does take a while though..
Err, no comment LOL
bf
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Post by chasmjumper on Dec 18, 2007 10:36:41 GMT -5
Some guys could certainly use more carnal satisfaction than others. Our brains are filled with receptors and glands for various neurotransmitters that regulate things like sexual desire and satisfaction. The balance of all these chemicals is unique to each person, and I'd imagine that sex drive is distributed along a Gaussian curve like many other human traits. It'll range from completely asexual to nymphomaniac, with most people clustered at a standard deviation from the mean.
I think you should really consider why you want so much control over when and how he gets sexual release. The last time I saw a discussion like that it was in a BDSM thread entitled "chastity training/orgasm denial." If you really think it should only be when you two have sex, and only when you are in the mood for sex at that, you are setting yourselves up for fail.
Go see a marriage counselor. And I mean a certified mental health practitioner, not Reverend Axetogrind of darkest Utah, if you get my drift.
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Post by Mayberry on Dec 18, 2007 10:47:10 GMT -5
ChasmJumper wrote: If you really think it should only be when you two have sex, and only when you are in the mood for sex at that, you are setting yourselves up for fail. Mayberry adds: An alternate take with no offense meant toward ChasmJumper: "If you really think it should be only when you two have sex, and only when you (are both) in the mood for sex, and you are both following the same set of standards (it's just the two of you and only when you're both in the mood, or willing to get there), you are setting yourself up for some mind-blowing sex, connection and bondedness. And while bondedness does not have the appeal that bondage does to some, having tried both, I can tell you which is, in the long run, more satisfying to me on every level--social, emotional, physical, spiritual. Just call me old Rev. AxetoGrind!
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Post by chasmjumper on Dec 18, 2007 11:06:37 GMT -5
Mayberry adds: If you really think it should be only when you two have sex, and only when you (are both) in the mood for sex, and you are both following the same set of standards (it's just the two of you and only when you're both in the mood, or willing to get there), you are setting yourself up for some mind-blowing sex, connection and bondedness. I agree 100%. The people who manage such an arrangement are truly blessed. It's just highly unlikely where a fundamental mismatch of sexual energy levels is the starting point. Maybe alyson and her husband can reach that point, but they'll probably need to chuck her bible into a river and pick up a good book on tantric yoga.
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 18, 2007 11:22:01 GMT -5
Go see a marriage counselor. And I mean a certified mental health practitioner, not Reverend Axetogrind of darkest Utah, if you get my drift. No. drift? who has an axe to grind. I agree with the idea that third-party counseling can have a positive effect. Be darkest Utah down round by Hurricane? We once ranned a right revrend axetogrind off our property threatenin to whip his a$s but that weren't nowheres near to Utah. We gots trees wheren I growed up. Mightn you be holdin sum predjuice dickel feelins? Most of the certified mental health professionals I've dealt with were, "certifiable". I be wantn go home early and get me sum dat carnival statisfaction, dat be sounden dern good about now. Dem recessror doodads in my brain mutsa built up somen fearce between when the missus and me both had a one dem mental transmitters thangs fire to the same time. But I be leerly of dat asexual stuff causen I still likes my womans gaussian curves and being fascinated by goats just ain't never been right in my nek of da woods. True it be dat mental health be over rated in most folk. Simple be good. All tangley be confuse da peoples.
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Post by gracebyfaith on Dec 18, 2007 11:31:04 GMT -5
chasm, what is up, man?! Do you have a personal vendetta against alyson, or what? This is like the third thread that I've seen you berating her for expecting her husband to fulfill his marriage vows...
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Post by chasmjumper on Dec 18, 2007 11:45:54 GMT -5
Either this Neil fellow knew he was marrying broken goods and held himself out as a white knight who would go along with this "I was abused" drama... or alyson, like so many wives before and after, was putting out until after the honeymoon, at which point she switched the wedding ring for a level 32 Vampiric Wedding Band of the Frigid Prude with a +4 drain life modifier...
In the first scenario, Neil is getting what he deserves. In the second scenario, Neil is getting what's typical. In either case, I think it's a huge mistake to examine their issue through the lens of an insulated community of porn and masturbation addicts.
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Post by tiger1m on Dec 18, 2007 11:53:09 GMT -5
Either this Neil fellow knew he was marrying broken goods and held himself out as a white knight who would go along with this "I was abused" drama... or alyson, like so many wives before and after, was putting out until after the honeymoon, at which point she switched the wedding ring for a level 32 Vampiric Wedding Band of the Frigid Prude with a +4 drain life modifier... In the first scenario, Neil is getting what he deserves. In the second scenario, Neil is getting what's typical. In either case, I think it's a huge mistake to examine their issue through the lens of an insulated community of porn and masturbation addicts. member chasmjumper, sir you are new here. This kind of post is called flaming and will not be tolerated. One more post of this nature and you will be suspended or banned. tiger
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 18, 2007 11:55:04 GMT -5
In either case, I think it's a huge mistake to examine their issue through the lens of an insulated community of porn and masturbation addicts. Then WHY the hell are you doing it?
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cammy
Full Member
Posts: 221
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Post by cammy on Dec 18, 2007 11:57:08 GMT -5
"I think it's a huge mistake to examine their issue through the lens of an insulated community of porn and masturbation addicts."
You know leaper, you may be right about that. I assume you do not have the professional background that allows you to diagnose? If this is true, perhaps these two can make their own determination on the matter.
Your view is plain and I thank you for exposing it for me to see.
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