Female Porn Addicts

[Clean2day]

CD you asked for the address that I sent him

www.blazinggrace.org/forums/

You will find this site divided up into many parts that share your different differences related to the sex industry and those trying to be healed from it. This is a Christan site and how Christ can help those who want it.
{note: rereading this this doesn't really sound like I want it but I don't know how else to write it.}

Also if you go to the home

www.blazinggrace.org

you will find stories of a lot of people that are trapped into the "life of porn" Great articles and a lot of eye openers. I also like pure intimacy site.

C2d

PS: I also like your accountability thread, it is great.

[completelydone]

Thank you C2d!

[completelydone]

This is exactly what I meant! From Oprah:

www.oprah.com/relationships/sex/relationships_sex_284_106.jhtml

Oprah says that one of the most surprising results from the Oprah.com sex survey regarded pornography. We asked, "Has pornography affected your sex life?" Of the 50 percent of those surveyed that said pornography has affected their sex lives, 72 percent said it has been in a positive way.

Research is now finding that women are on the verge of an entirely new kind of sexual revolution. In the $12 billion adult entertainment industry, $1 out of every $4 is spent by a woman.

Janee, who says she has a small collection at home, says she prefers to call it erotica or adult film—to her, the word porn has a negative connotation. "I think with respect to my mother's generation, her mother's generation, you know, exploring the adult entertainment industry was just unheard of. It probably wasn't even an option for them," Janee says.

Janee says that there are now more women producing and directing adult films, which, in her opinion, have improved in recent years. Dr. Schwartz says, "You're not supposed to watch it more than four or five minutes, you know!"
With many of Oprah's viewers voicing complaints about their husbands becoming addicted to Internet pornography, Oprah asks psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz—is erotica for women a double standard?

"It's not a double standard," Dr. Saltz says. "Forty-three percent of women have some sort of sexual dysfunction—they have trouble with desire or they have trouble with arousal. And this is a tool to use if you need help feeling more desirous, feeling more aroused, or something to increase the pleasure of your sexuality, which is extremely important to women. And it can be useful to men as well. The problem is, it can be a double-edged sword in that anything really pleasurable can become kind of addictive."

And Dr. Schwartz agrees with Janee that erotica has changed. "A lot of [filmmakers] have gotten really smart about putting together pornographic, explicit films that are not denigrating to women. None of us are going to get excited about seeing something where we feel bad for the woman."

Dr. Saltz says that she will sometimes prescribe erotic films to her sex therapy patients to help enhance arousal and help couples feel more comfortable with their bodies.

Regina, who watches erotic videos with her husband of 10 years, welcomed pornography into their relationship. "What's better than a live demonstration?" she says. "If you want to learn something, watch a video. And it's a great how-to instructional."

end of quote.

I'm sick of this crap being shoved down our throats!!!!!!! Oprah has lost her mind having shows like this!! But this article does re-inforce what I said about women being PA's in growing numbers.

God help us!!

[Clean2day]

CD does it really surprise you that Oprah would go with the money? Where the Buck is so goes the show.

I once went to a Doctor like those good doctors. Was "the best in the county" and on the school board. No wonder our schools are such a mess.

Jerry Springer when he first started his show some of it was worth watching. Now.... Oh well he's getting paid. When he started he was against having Hustler clubs in Cinci where he was mayor. Now I'd bet he's be #1 customer, just to watch the woman degrade themselves.

When we were going to Celebrate Recovery it wasn't uncommon to hear how great Oprah was. She gave bla bla money for such and such which is a good cause.....

If you have to give to be a "good person" and broadcast it so everybody knows how much you give to charity. Then I will never be even mentioned as "good" Thank You Jesus! Only one reason we left CR. not the main one.

I stopping here and getting off my soap box....

C2d

[completelydone]

I guess it does surprise me. I don't watch her anymore because of something she said. But, in general, I believed she had women's best interest at heart, yes.

She just did a show last year, I believe, about porn addicts. And now she's giving her show as a platform for porn addicts to try to brainwash other people into becoming porn addicts.

I am very upset with her for that. Just shows me that I made the right decision to quit watching her. Not that I would usually have time to anyway.

But $1 in $4 dollars being spent on porn by women means that 25% of porn addicts are women. That's not a small number. AND it doesn't account for women/young women/girls on the net for free.

[completelydone]

I don't usually watch a lot of TV anymore, but my teen daughter likes to record and watch Tyra. We monitor the topics to see if daughter gets to watch the show that day or not. Today, it was about women and porn. So, I sent daughter out of the room after having a discussion with her about the harms, downfalls, and dangers of porn, and I watched the show alone.

It also had this Violet Blue woman on the show (the same that was on Oprah), who is a porn movie critic it seems. At the top of the show Tyra said that in the first 3 months of 2007 over 13,000,000 women had viewed porn on-line. That would mean there are over 48,000,000 women per year that watch porn on the net. That does not include magazines, videos, etc.

Tyra asked 8 women (some married, some single) to watch porn together and see what they thought of it. There were two movies; one directed toward a male audience (typical porn), and one directed at a female audience (with a plot). At the end of the first movie (typical "male" porn), the women were divided 50/50 on liking it or not. All but one woman had watched porn before this viewing. At the end of the second movie (aimed at women) 4 women liked it, 2 did not, and 2 more that hated the "male" porn liked the female porn better (said it turned them on) but doubted they would ever watch it again for moral reasons.

Tyra's guest name cut tiger1m (apparently an ex porn whore and now film maker for women) said that women seem to be split 50/50 on the issue of whether or not they like porn.

Tyra said female viewership of porn is on the rise.

I'm disappointed with Tyra because she saw the issue as a feisty/prude thing IMO instead of a moral issue concerning the degradation of women. Porn cheapens sex to where it is nothing more special than a handshake. Porn cheapens people because they become prey, game, objects to the habitual porn user.

I can often tell when I run into porn users, male or female, without even knowing them, because they get that glazed over undressing you look, or they try to talk to you and think you don't notice that every 2 seconds their eyes go from your face to your boobs; or even farther down. If they don't give it away while speaking to you or from across the room, eventually something sexual harassing comes out of their mouths toward you or someone else around you.

I guess this is what America wants. Men and women who grow colder and colder; more and more perverted and harassing; more sexual assaults; more rapes; more child molestations. As for me, I feel assaulted when people look at me like weasel looks at a chicken; all licking their chops in their minds. It REALLY ticks me off when I see grown men (and occasionally women) who look that way at my teen aged girls. I've even been known to yell at some of them openly in public for staring at underage girls when I catch them doing it. It's sickening.

People seeing people through porn goggles that don't allow them to see people, but only meat. God help us! We're turning into a completely dysfunctional nation where love is dirty, horny sex, and sex is a sport; and the one who screws the most wins!
Animalistic is what it is. No humanity, no love, just hormones and barbarism.

[tiger1m]

completelydone said:

People seeing people through porn goggles that don't allow them to see people, but only meat. God help us! We're turning into a completely dysfunctional nation where love is dirty, horny sex, and sex is a sport; and the one who screws the most wins!
Animalistic is what it is. No humanity, no love, just hormones and barbarism.

member CD, thank you for this summation linked directly to porn use. Pornogrpahy is de-humanizing.

[amaninfull]

CD: You're an inspiration.

AMIF

[completelydone]

tiger1m said:

completelydone said:

People seeing people through porn goggles that don't allow them to see people, but only meat. God help us! We're turning into a completely dysfunctional nation where love is dirty, horny sex, and sex is a sport; and the one who screws the most wins!
Animalistic is what it is. No humanity, no love, just hormones and barbarism.

member CD, thank you for this summation linked directly to porn use. Pornogrpahy is de-humanizing.

You're welcome.

[completelydone]

amaninfull said:

CD: You're an inspiration.

AMIF

Well, thank you. That was nice of you.

[tootrue]

Prior to being married to a porn addict and living with what that is I might have read this Oprah information with some interest and not even have had any strong opinion about it. Although I am not a porn addict, and actually always had a yucked out response to porn and some perhaps feminist feeling that it denigrates women and men as well...I can honestly say that I would not have had any feeling of outrage against these ideas in regard to women creating more female appealing stuff. I might have EVEN thought.....wow...yes, the women are so smart. The smut that men look at really is not appealing.

I can hardly believe that I am saying that now of myself but I do believe it is pretty true.

What is frightening to me about reading this now is how I understand porn to be such a slippery slope. Maybe even more so to people who consider themselves "open minded." With the internet and all that is available the escalation of porn addiction is so obvious to me that I feel it is potentially a danger to anyone who starts looking at it. This particularly scares me for future generations of women who may think that in being independent and open and confident in their sexuality, or who seek to become that way....that their own therapists may be prescribing the first taste of a drug that will eventually damage them in significant ways. It makes me fearful of the future for my daughters.

[Curious Voyager]

"Internet pornography is the crack cocaine of porn."

Sorry can't recall who said that but BIG amen!

[completelydone]

An overview on female sex addicts:

www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000115.cfm

Without treatment and a safe recovery path, an exploited female may inadvertently use her sexuality either to punish men or herself. Sadly, the untreated sex abuse survivor often maintains distorted thoughts of how she and the perpetrator share blame for the abuse. The seductive survivor can be motivated to get even by enticing men. The closet female sex addict riddled with shame and self-contempt may punish herself by seeking to meet sexual needs privately and compulsively versus investing in an intimate relationship with her husband. Alternatively, she may starve herself sexually. Whatever the behavior, either obvious or hidden, it remains “the tip of the iceberg” where inner motivations laced with anger often remain a profound mystery for the addict and those who love her.

That was so me, but at the time I just thought I was a sexually free woman.

All in all this is a really good article but I don't like or agree with this part. I wrote to them and called them on this crap:

The Mind Mentally and emotionally, females are typically aroused in different ways than males. Where men tend to be visual and have greater interests in a woman’s body, or sadly, just parts of her body, women tend to remain relational – even in their attraction and arousal. For example, gateways for feminine arousal will often include ambience or environmental setting, the personality traits of the man, and how he seems to nurture her with attention. These factors are often exploited in soap operas, romance novels, and other things traditionally targeted to females.

[MG]

CD, I really want to reply to this, but don't want to sound like I'm looking for an angle or an excuse. I'm the PA, not my wife ... and she's put up with a lot from me, but ...

... she thinks there is some kind of message in the "fact" that women don't become PA/SA's. She seems to think it elevates women in some way over men in general. She's had a lot of very disapppointing men in her life, so one could see where some of this comes from. I'd like to counter this argument in some way, but don't want to sound like I'm dragging women down in order to elevate myself in some way. Maybe I should just leave it alone as not relevant to my problem, but your posts on this subject have me thinking.

What say you?

[completelydone]

she thinks there is some kind of message in the "fact" that women don't become PA/SA's.

Well, she's wrong. I've already written plenty to counter that theory. Women are just more ashamed and less open about their porn use. They play coy, prude, etc. to look good to certain others.

However, I don't think bringing this up is going to help your relationship with her. She's likely pretty angry right now, and telling her women are just as slimy as men won't go over well, I'd suspect.

The truth is, in times past, that women for the majority took the moral high ground. But, as societies morals slide, so have women's. They still feel they must hide it though to look like the good girls. They fear rejection and stigma.

But, there are increasing numbers of women who are SA's, PA's, cheaters, pedophiles, etc. It reflects what young women are being taught, and what they believe now about themselves.

I have no doubt that your wife has experienced some pretty hard knocks in life to believe that men are basically scum; if I'm reading into your post right.

Take care,
CD