C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 1, 2007 15:12:18 GMT -5
jaw still hurts, been reflecting a bit on my world views and how they might have been perverted with P, Hmmmmm. I saw a young Chinese girl at the office where I work. She was having a casual conversation with one of the janitors who happened to be a black older man. Then she gave him her cell number. I automatically assumed they were going to meet up for sex and felt she was a low down "ho". I never realized these thoughts aren't normal. they are quite painful actually.
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 1, 2007 17:14:39 GMT -5
Day 2
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 2, 2007 15:10:40 GMT -5
Today is pretty good. On break today at work the fellows were talking about porn and sex. I just listened as if I were on of the boys. I then told them how dangerous porn is becoming and they agreed. They have a more cavalier attitude about it and that's fine. I know myself and got too absorbed into it. So here I am. More to come...
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 3, 2007 9:46:01 GMT -5
day 4
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 3, 2007 21:02:21 GMT -5
I slipped
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 4, 2007 3:39:30 GMT -5
Don't beat yourself up.
Remember what James Joyce said:
"A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals to discovery"
Take this opportunity to learn more about yourself. What happened? In what circumstances did it happen? Why did it happen?
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 4, 2007 7:50:50 GMT -5
I have been having an ureasonable time with my dentist. I've had to reverse charges with my visa and contact the better business bureau. On top of that my jaw still feels lousy. I threw in the towel because of extreme dissapointment in the situation. I will have to start all over again with my 100 days but thank you for welcoming me back.
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 5, 2007 9:08:18 GMT -5
Well I have learned that if I want to do this right certain behaviors cannot be tolerated. I was doing fine then the urge hit me like an anvil. I didn't think my "opponent" was that strong; but it is. I 'll have to be more methodical in my resolve. We start today.
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 5, 2007 16:35:37 GMT -5
Remember your 'opponent' is you. You are fighting yourself.
Jung said something along the lines of :
"...mental illness is characterised by disunity of the personality, whilst mental health is manifested by unity"
So, I personally try not to fight myself.
I don't set guildlines whereby i can and can't do this.
I just try to understand the ramifications of all the actions and decisions i make. I feel being in this mindframe is helping.
I do this by trying to have 'observing ego' at all times.
"Observing ego" is a part of me that watches what i do and say in an objective manner (basically me observing ME in third person. Me watching ME.)
I do feel i am getting 'stronger'.
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Post by linj99 on Aug 5, 2007 19:43:39 GMT -5
Hi, I'm new, I'm very grateful for finding this site. I started my 100 days yesterday. I had been looking for a support group. I've been struggling PA for so long, been on and off.
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 6, 2007 14:56:35 GMT -5
Day 7
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 6, 2007 15:14:01 GMT -5
Things are lookin' up and I'm grateful for that.
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 6, 2007 15:20:56 GMT -5
Nice one C Jam Welcome linj99
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Post by cleanblue on Aug 7, 2007 6:18:07 GMT -5
Day 8
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Aug 7, 2007 15:39:53 GMT -5
How sweet it is!
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