C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Nov 28, 2007 17:43:29 GMT -5
I feel like crap today, I don't know if posting here is doing anything. I suppose I'll keeps posting till "it" happens.
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Post by vesparse on Nov 28, 2007 20:38:14 GMT -5
I hope you feel better. Perhaps go for a walk.
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Post by charles515 on Nov 29, 2007 9:59:16 GMT -5
P: current steak: 53 days best streak: 53 days (new record) Cumulative total: 102 days
OSA: current streak: 4 days cumulative total: 24 days best streak: 11 days
At school girls seem to look better than usual. It seems to be more intense. There was one girl who I was just blown away at how attractive she was. Maybe it's because I not looking on the net and it is such a habit that when I am out I have to seek elsewhere. In addition, I've had more of an urge to go to topless clubs now.
If its not the lack of viewing on the net it could be my impending graduation. That may be producing feelings because I haven't been studying much.
Cjam, I'm not sure what you mean by "it" but if its what I think you mean, I used to search for 'it' in books, on the net, people. Something that will make me realize how P affected me. Something that would make me not want it anymore. It didn't happen till I finally talked to a counselor and analyzed all the girls I pursued and had relationships with. There was a common theme in all of them and that's when I realized how P affected my life. I found this board and finally got on the right track after 22 years.
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Nov 29, 2007 21:33:34 GMT -5
It is the urge to look at P I suppose.
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Post by charles515 on Nov 30, 2007 17:52:35 GMT -5
P: current steak: 54 days best streak: 54 days (new record) Cumulative total: 103 days
OSA: current streak: 5 days cumulative total: 25 days best streak: 11 days
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Nov 30, 2007 18:57:15 GMT -5
Congrats of your new record Charles. I have hope now, there is hope I will change.
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Post by charles515 on Dec 1, 2007 11:22:52 GMT -5
P: current steak: 55 days best streak: 55 days (new record) Cumulative total: 103 days
OSA: current streak: 6 days cumulative total: 26 days best streak: 11 days
Thanks cjam. I think if you have hope, things can always turn around. I remember something about hope that was inspiring from Shawshank Redemption.
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Dec 1, 2007 14:03:41 GMT -5
I think I use P to reduce stress; albeit a negative way to reduce stress. I wonder if I exercise a little it will reduce my urge to view P.
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Post by charles515 on Dec 2, 2007 9:39:11 GMT -5
P: current steak: 56 days best streak: 56 days (new record) Cumulative total: 104 days
PUFMB (photos, videos used for MB): S (stories):
Well the stress of not finishing my paper like I hoped produced stress. I didn't get nearly enough studying as I planned because I got stuck. This is finals week, it will be over for me after this week. No more school. Anyway, I can MB to anything. I have a good imagination. And that's what I did yesterday. I searched for photos that I could use. Something to produce the high.
I decided I would do what worked for P. I won't cross that line but I do cross other lines. While OSA is very broad, I like specific guidelines sometimes and see if this works. I changed it. When I look at a picture of a woman I find attractive, I expect to get really excited. If I don't, I strive to get that high. It's a technique I wish i didn't learn. It could just be a picture of someone's face. I need to learn to just see it for what it is, a pretty face, and not try to get more out of it.
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Dec 2, 2007 11:02:50 GMT -5
I will short circuit the urge to view P by working out instead. There is a new girl in my life I know I must destroy this habit or it will hurt the budding relationship.
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Post by charles515 on Dec 3, 2007 10:09:14 GMT -5
P: current steak: 57 days best streak: 57 days (new record) Cumulative total: 105 days
PUFMB: 1 day best streak: 1 day S: 1 day best streak: 1 day
Yesterday was a good day.
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Dec 3, 2007 18:44:06 GMT -5
I am discharging the urge as soon as it enters my mind and throw a few weights around instead.
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Post by charles515 on Dec 4, 2007 9:26:25 GMT -5
P: current steak: 58 days best streak: 58 days (new record) Cumulative total: 106 days
PUFMB: 2 day best streak: 2 day S: 2 day best streak: 2 day
Two more days left of school. Feeling excited.
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C JaM
Full Member
Gojira vs pnografrs
Posts: 178
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Post by C JaM on Dec 4, 2007 18:24:27 GMT -5
I am going to throw some weights around if I get the urge.
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Post by charles515 on Dec 5, 2007 9:39:12 GMT -5
P: current steak: 59 days best streak: 59 days (new record) Cumulative total: 107 days
PUFMB: 3 day best streak: 3 day S: 3 day best streak: 3 day
Last day of school. New challenges are about to begin.
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