Post by witness on Apr 9, 2007 14:29:27 GMT -5
I'll begin by apologizing as I'm not supposed to be here. My plan was to report on March 22nd that I had remained clean for 6 months. Well, I slipped on March 20th. I thought about just letting that one go by and pretending it didn't happen. And I also tried to justify it by saying that what I did wasn't so bad or didn't last for very long and that I really didn't "look".
But the truth is I crossed the line so in a way I'm starting over again and am now on day 20.
The good news is I believe I've learned quite a bit the past year and a half since coming to this board and I believe that despite the slips I've made considerable progress.
I know that a slip is a click away and that when I think I'm the strongest I am often the most susceptible. But I'm grateful that the lustful thinking and the degrading images are slowly fading from my mind. I'm not dominated by it all the time like I was in the past. In spite of the slips, I've found a new freedom. My thoughts are not filled with the countless images from the past.
So I hope to come back here in a little over 5 months with an even better report. And in order to do that I have to take this one day at a time. Sometimes I get bored with recovery and think I don't need to post anymore. And I guess I don't need to do it as often as in the past, but it is obvious that there is still work to be done IF I really want to put this in the past, once and for all.
This is a journey and I need help. I cannot give up. And I will not give up, so help me God.
Sadly, not many people make it. I pray that with God's help, I'll be one of the few. And I pray that you also will make it into that select group. Change is possible. But change is not easy.
Blessings to all fellow strugglers!
But the truth is I crossed the line so in a way I'm starting over again and am now on day 20.
The good news is I believe I've learned quite a bit the past year and a half since coming to this board and I believe that despite the slips I've made considerable progress.
I know that a slip is a click away and that when I think I'm the strongest I am often the most susceptible. But I'm grateful that the lustful thinking and the degrading images are slowly fading from my mind. I'm not dominated by it all the time like I was in the past. In spite of the slips, I've found a new freedom. My thoughts are not filled with the countless images from the past.
So I hope to come back here in a little over 5 months with an even better report. And in order to do that I have to take this one day at a time. Sometimes I get bored with recovery and think I don't need to post anymore. And I guess I don't need to do it as often as in the past, but it is obvious that there is still work to be done IF I really want to put this in the past, once and for all.
This is a journey and I need help. I cannot give up. And I will not give up, so help me God.
Sadly, not many people make it. I pray that with God's help, I'll be one of the few. And I pray that you also will make it into that select group. Change is possible. But change is not easy.
Blessings to all fellow strugglers!