7 days completely clean!

[brad777]

I have now been completely clean (no p and no mb) for seven days. I know its not much but this is the first time I have managed to abstain this long by making a personal effort to do so. I have abstained longer in the past but that was because I was in certain situations like, campsite, boarding house with no computer etc. I feel great and also the urge to look at P has greatly diminished. I feel that I have much more respect for myself now and in turn I will be much more open and respectful to others. I will now embark on my 30 day challenge. I feel strong and motivated. The only trouble is that I am starting to get some physical symptoms of withdrawal. I feel swelling pain in my groin. I also have been having trouble sleeping and I am feeling all nervous and shaky. I guess this is normal though and I am willing to put up with this. Does anyone have any tips or info on the matter?
Thanks. Good health and strength to all!

-B

[Webmaster]

Congratulations brad777. For me, the emotional pain of withdrawal was much greater than the physical pain. However, all does pass if you choose to endure it. I wish you luck as you continue what will prove to be a joyful journey.

[Spectre50]

Oh, yeah. Know that pain! Sorry that you are going through that. It is no fun. The pain will increase the more sexually aroused you are. Not at first, but it will later.

I am a nursing student, and have referred to a couple of sources (including a doctor) for my answer here. Your greatest relief will come from cold packs and\or ibuprofen.

A note on cold packs though, do not put one directly onto your groin!!! Make sure there is a layer or two between them, and don't keep it on for long. Sounds really bad, but the last thing you want is frostbite on your...boys. And yes, it really happens. In fact, it may be best to start out with a cold wet cloth, then dry yourself--keeping cold away for a while, then get a dry layer or two between you and a cold pack, or just re-use the cloth.

Take the same amount of ibuprofen as you would for a headache (200-400 mg, 600 if you are a bigger guy, every 4-6 hours. Do not exceed 3600 mg per day!!!).

Also, try to avoid really hot showers. It will make it worse. Warm to lukewarm is good.

If this doesn't help, you may want to ask your doctor.

[brad777]

Specter and Wes,

Thanks for your replies. I will definitely keep the medical advice in mind since the symptoms are getting difficult to deal with. I think the ibuprofen will work wonders. I am now on day 11. Still completely sober, no p and no mb. Wes, your one sentence response is really starting to make sense.

the emotional pain of withdrawal was much greater than the physical pain.

You're right. The physical symptoms are bad, but the emotional changes I am going through are overwhelming. I used to be a big pot smoker for about a year and a half and have completely stopped. I remember I used to feel numb, go throughout my day, get my work done, do some p and mb and then go to sleep. I would never really think much about my future, my family and the meaningfulness of the friends and relationships I have had. When I stopped, I first started having nightmares for a while. Then my emotions just started getting very intense. I felt like a cloud has bee n lifted and my emotions and thoughts were returning, but in a painful way.

The same is occurring to me now that I am consciously quitting my PA. I am starting to see all the women in my life, family, friends and lovers in a different light. I am finally not looking at every woman with sexual interest. My fixation about P and sex has tremendously decreased. My mind is filling with so many new thoughts of life, philosophy, love and even marriage. I can't believe that this was all missing until now.

I am in love with this girl who is a little younger than me. She is still a virgin and I only see her every few months for just a few days or weeks. It is very hard since I always miss her to the point were I can't even look at a pic of her. She lives another life, in another country with a strict family. She wants me to be her first but the last time I saw her (yesterday... I left for school again this morning ) we stopped just before. I can't do it with her and then leave her again for months. Instead I just simply enjoyed being with her, digging at her heart and at her mind. I am glad that I made this decision. I am sure there is a future with her and that it will be brilliant. I was just overwhelmed by how strong my emotions have become.

For the first time in my life, these emotions feel genuine, pure. It is still very hard though. I am having nightmares, my mind is racing at high speeds and I just feel overwhelmed by how much is in me still waiting to come out. I can't believe I wasted so much time. Treated so many people badly, and gave my emotions and sexuality away to this junk. I felt too polluted by my PA to ever let these true thoughts and feelings out. Now they are here. It is a painful process but worth it 100%. I feel alive!

I just want to thank you for you kind response and for making this site. I also want to thank Specter for the kind words of advice and to every else who has supported me here. I hope to soon return the favor to others.

-B

[Webmaster]

Thanks, Brad777. Give yourself time. 11 days is great... I was going to say a great start... but it really isn't a start, is it? It is a change. A transformation that comes with time and consistent commitment. There will be times you feel this enlightenment you describe, and there will be times when that enlightenment will go away. That's when we put the pedal to the metal and truly demonstrate our commitment to sobriety and recovery. Please use this site as much as you can to prepare for those moments that really matter. They aren't fun, but they don't last too long. It is the recovery work we do daily, that makes the difficult days sober days.

My best,

Wes