Post by dj2005 on Mar 12, 2007 12:34:27 GMT -5
hey all- i just copied this from my journal and i wanted to post it here. there is so much hope in recovery.
WAHOO! 100 days of sobriety! how incredibly cool to get to say that!
it is so amazing to accomplish something that i once thought was impossible. 100 days used to sound like such a monumental accomplishment, like only superheroes could do it. but by putting in the daily work, by establishing and maintaining and cultivating my connection to god, i was able to move beyond my doubts and limitations and lock into an extended groove of love and peace and joy. that is what has worked/is working for me. i spend all of my time focused on cultivating love and hope and joy and peace in my life. i spend as little time as possible thinking about addiction or sex on fear, or anything that takes my eyes away from what is truly good. fear is a lie.
these are the daily actions that have turned my life around:
daily posting in my journal here.
daily posting in the journals of others here.
stream of conscious writing, 3 handwritten pages, every day.
inspirational reading, at least 1 page every day.
daily cardio exercise.
in all of these things, i find a way to surrender and relax and let the love of god flow through me. when i don't feel like doing them, that is the one way to make it bearable. it teaches me to maintain my principles and live with integrity.
in my first 100 days of sobriety, i have learned that god wants me to be filled with infinite joy. god does not want me to be happy for god's sake. god wants me to be happy for my sake. the steps that i must take in order to move closer to god are only difficult when i am lacking in faith. they are only scary when i am focused on fear. but there is no better place to run than into the heart of god. that is the place of ultimate security.
when i started recovery, i was hoping that this journey would lead to amazing changes in my life. without a question, it has. in a little over 3 months of sobriety, this is where my life is at:
my relationship with my wife is excellent.
i have cultivated many deep and meaningful friendships.
my business is growing in unbelievable ways.
my art is better than ever.
my fitness level is exactly where i want it to be.
my writing is the best it's ever been.
my finances are the best they've ever been.
my focus is the best it's ever been.
I am incredibly hopeful and joyful about where my life is going.
i know for a fact that anything is possible.
in the past 100 days,life has blossomed all around me. i expected this to happen and it did. i let go of my fears and joyfully embraced a vision of hope. i realized that my focus had been set on my fears. i knew too well what i was afraid of- i was afraid of being a slave to sa for the rest of my life. i was afraid of never moving forward in my career. i was afraid of my past coming out and destroying my future. i focused on those things and i subconsciously created them. in the first few days of december i stopped thinking about those things and i started to pour my attention into the things that i really did want. that vision is still not crystal clear, but it is growing more and more evident every day. and at the same time, my fears are fading. they are just lies and they don't deserve my attention.
my vision is to live in constant connection with god. to feel the flow of peace and love passing through me, to be open to it, and to pass it on and let it pour out through me and get soaked up by whatever needs it the most. i am a conduit of peace and love and hope.
there are some fun mileposts coming up that i will be watching. march 21 is the first day of spring, and i will have completed my first full season of sobriety. march 31 will mark my 2 year anniversary of joining this board. april 3 will be 1/3 of a year of sobriety. may 1 will be 150 days, and june 2 will be 6 months!
but more than anything, my focus is on my hopes and dreams. by june 2, it is my goal to have taken action on my specific hopes and dreams in a way that yields undeniable, tangible results. i want to be able to hold the evidence in my hands, to be able to show it to others and say "check this out- my dreams came true." i am in the process of making that happen and i am committed to seeing this through.
thank you so much to all of my friends here- Stillhopeful, Paddy, Chooselife, Ian, Disciple, Jacob, Johannes, 1975, Witness... and i know i am missing lots of people too who have blessed me with your presence here too. I am deeply deeply grateful for your love and support along the way. i know this is just the beginning of an amazing journeyand i hope to give back to you the peace and hope that you have given to me.
onward and upward!
dj
WAHOO! 100 days of sobriety! how incredibly cool to get to say that!
it is so amazing to accomplish something that i once thought was impossible. 100 days used to sound like such a monumental accomplishment, like only superheroes could do it. but by putting in the daily work, by establishing and maintaining and cultivating my connection to god, i was able to move beyond my doubts and limitations and lock into an extended groove of love and peace and joy. that is what has worked/is working for me. i spend all of my time focused on cultivating love and hope and joy and peace in my life. i spend as little time as possible thinking about addiction or sex on fear, or anything that takes my eyes away from what is truly good. fear is a lie.
these are the daily actions that have turned my life around:
daily posting in my journal here.
daily posting in the journals of others here.
stream of conscious writing, 3 handwritten pages, every day.
inspirational reading, at least 1 page every day.
daily cardio exercise.
in all of these things, i find a way to surrender and relax and let the love of god flow through me. when i don't feel like doing them, that is the one way to make it bearable. it teaches me to maintain my principles and live with integrity.
in my first 100 days of sobriety, i have learned that god wants me to be filled with infinite joy. god does not want me to be happy for god's sake. god wants me to be happy for my sake. the steps that i must take in order to move closer to god are only difficult when i am lacking in faith. they are only scary when i am focused on fear. but there is no better place to run than into the heart of god. that is the place of ultimate security.
when i started recovery, i was hoping that this journey would lead to amazing changes in my life. without a question, it has. in a little over 3 months of sobriety, this is where my life is at:
my relationship with my wife is excellent.
i have cultivated many deep and meaningful friendships.
my business is growing in unbelievable ways.
my art is better than ever.
my fitness level is exactly where i want it to be.
my writing is the best it's ever been.
my finances are the best they've ever been.
my focus is the best it's ever been.
I am incredibly hopeful and joyful about where my life is going.
i know for a fact that anything is possible.
in the past 100 days,life has blossomed all around me. i expected this to happen and it did. i let go of my fears and joyfully embraced a vision of hope. i realized that my focus had been set on my fears. i knew too well what i was afraid of- i was afraid of being a slave to sa for the rest of my life. i was afraid of never moving forward in my career. i was afraid of my past coming out and destroying my future. i focused on those things and i subconsciously created them. in the first few days of december i stopped thinking about those things and i started to pour my attention into the things that i really did want. that vision is still not crystal clear, but it is growing more and more evident every day. and at the same time, my fears are fading. they are just lies and they don't deserve my attention.
my vision is to live in constant connection with god. to feel the flow of peace and love passing through me, to be open to it, and to pass it on and let it pour out through me and get soaked up by whatever needs it the most. i am a conduit of peace and love and hope.
there are some fun mileposts coming up that i will be watching. march 21 is the first day of spring, and i will have completed my first full season of sobriety. march 31 will mark my 2 year anniversary of joining this board. april 3 will be 1/3 of a year of sobriety. may 1 will be 150 days, and june 2 will be 6 months!
but more than anything, my focus is on my hopes and dreams. by june 2, it is my goal to have taken action on my specific hopes and dreams in a way that yields undeniable, tangible results. i want to be able to hold the evidence in my hands, to be able to show it to others and say "check this out- my dreams came true." i am in the process of making that happen and i am committed to seeing this through.
thank you so much to all of my friends here- Stillhopeful, Paddy, Chooselife, Ian, Disciple, Jacob, Johannes, 1975, Witness... and i know i am missing lots of people too who have blessed me with your presence here too. I am deeply deeply grateful for your love and support along the way. i know this is just the beginning of an amazing journeyand i hope to give back to you the peace and hope that you have given to me.
onward and upward!
dj
