Post by struggling on Jan 11, 2007 23:13:03 GMT -5
Day #200 today.
What an amazing journey its been thus far - or should I say roller coaster ride.
One of the things I continue to do - & have done every day since my d-day - June 25, 2006, is pray every morning. In my mind, I ask g-d to help me through a number of things.
It's interesting to analyze the order w/ which I ask for g-d's help.
First I thank g-d for everything he's done for me.
Next, I ask g-d for blessings over the important people in my life.
Then I admit that I'm still powerless over my addiction & that my life is still unmanageable, & that I continue to need help overcoming my addiction 1 day @ a time.
Then I ask g-d to help me tear down the layers upon layers of imagery that have built up in my mind since I was 10.
Then I ask g-d to help me change my core beliefs, & realize I'm a worthy person.
Then I ask g-d to help me forgive & love myself.
Then I ask g-d to help me regain my self respect, self confidence, & self trust.
Finally, I ask g-d to help me achieve inner happiness & peace.
It's funny that 200 days after my d-day, I still ask g-d for every single one of these things. Even though I know in my mind that my life is more manageable than it was pre 06/25/06, I still feel compelled to acknowledge that my addiction was a part of me at one point.
It has taken a huge amount of dedication, effort, honesty, pain, & soul searching to get to my 200th day. I know I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I'm on the right track.
Peace all.
Dan
What an amazing journey its been thus far - or should I say roller coaster ride.
One of the things I continue to do - & have done every day since my d-day - June 25, 2006, is pray every morning. In my mind, I ask g-d to help me through a number of things.
It's interesting to analyze the order w/ which I ask for g-d's help.
First I thank g-d for everything he's done for me.
Next, I ask g-d for blessings over the important people in my life.
Then I admit that I'm still powerless over my addiction & that my life is still unmanageable, & that I continue to need help overcoming my addiction 1 day @ a time.
Then I ask g-d to help me tear down the layers upon layers of imagery that have built up in my mind since I was 10.
Then I ask g-d to help me change my core beliefs, & realize I'm a worthy person.
Then I ask g-d to help me forgive & love myself.
Then I ask g-d to help me regain my self respect, self confidence, & self trust.
Finally, I ask g-d to help me achieve inner happiness & peace.
It's funny that 200 days after my d-day, I still ask g-d for every single one of these things. Even though I know in my mind that my life is more manageable than it was pre 06/25/06, I still feel compelled to acknowledge that my addiction was a part of me at one point.
It has taken a huge amount of dedication, effort, honesty, pain, & soul searching to get to my 200th day. I know I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I'm on the right track.
Peace all.
Dan
