Post by reconstituting on Dec 7, 2006 11:12:12 GMT -5
The great thing about reaching 100 days is that it's no big deal.
I think I have moved on a stage in the last couple of weeks and while one day one week and one month clean all involved some metaphorical jumping up and down and shouts of "Yes, I did it!", this milestone seems pretty minor in the scheme of things. I don't and won't do P any more - it's permanent and so days don't much matter.
And anyway it's only 100 days - it's not a number of years like some posters here have achieved. But for what it's worth I'll record how I did it.
I wish I could offer a miracle cure but the more I think, the more I see that I was simply ready to stop. What tipped me over the edge was doubtless joining up here (and in passing, profound thanks to the whole community and in particular those who run the place), but most of all it was time.
So I stopped, and in line with my Sceptics Manifesto (lightwave.proboards48.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=addicts&thread=1158960133&page=1) I've not done much else except think a lot about it. It's going well, there are ups and downs but I think with every week or two that passes I am increasingly likely to go back to the pit. Just thinking of some of the more extreme things I did then revolts me, or at least I completely fail to see how I could have got sucked into it all.
The only other thing I can say is that the stopping was complete - after a week or two I realised that it was all easier if I didn't MB, fantasise, ogle or allow those sort of thoughts. I think I can claim that for the last 3 months or so I have not entertained such a thoght for more than a second or so - the time it takes my increasingly automatic "turn away and think of something else" response into action. I've not really thought about accountability software or anything along those lines.
A final word on recoveries because I worry a bit when I hear SO's being advised to insist that their partners go to 12-step meetings, get therapy, etc. By all means insist on a completely serious recovery, but perhaps remember that it can take more than one form. I suspect for myself for example that they would be entirely negative.
So, there you are. It is possible, at least if you are like me, to simply stop. I don't think the whole P thing had much to do with deep issues in my life. (I don't think I do "deep issues".) On the other hand it is quite empowering because I generally have very low willpower and just drift through life underachieving. This shows me that I can actually change my behaviour for the better with a bit of concentration. So perhaps I can stop being so lazy and lose a bit of weight!
Recon
I think I have moved on a stage in the last couple of weeks and while one day one week and one month clean all involved some metaphorical jumping up and down and shouts of "Yes, I did it!", this milestone seems pretty minor in the scheme of things. I don't and won't do P any more - it's permanent and so days don't much matter.
And anyway it's only 100 days - it's not a number of years like some posters here have achieved. But for what it's worth I'll record how I did it.
I wish I could offer a miracle cure but the more I think, the more I see that I was simply ready to stop. What tipped me over the edge was doubtless joining up here (and in passing, profound thanks to the whole community and in particular those who run the place), but most of all it was time.
So I stopped, and in line with my Sceptics Manifesto (lightwave.proboards48.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=addicts&thread=1158960133&page=1) I've not done much else except think a lot about it. It's going well, there are ups and downs but I think with every week or two that passes I am increasingly likely to go back to the pit. Just thinking of some of the more extreme things I did then revolts me, or at least I completely fail to see how I could have got sucked into it all.
The only other thing I can say is that the stopping was complete - after a week or two I realised that it was all easier if I didn't MB, fantasise, ogle or allow those sort of thoughts. I think I can claim that for the last 3 months or so I have not entertained such a thoght for more than a second or so - the time it takes my increasingly automatic "turn away and think of something else" response into action. I've not really thought about accountability software or anything along those lines.
A final word on recoveries because I worry a bit when I hear SO's being advised to insist that their partners go to 12-step meetings, get therapy, etc. By all means insist on a completely serious recovery, but perhaps remember that it can take more than one form. I suspect for myself for example that they would be entirely negative.
So, there you are. It is possible, at least if you are like me, to simply stop. I don't think the whole P thing had much to do with deep issues in my life. (I don't think I do "deep issues".) On the other hand it is quite empowering because I generally have very low willpower and just drift through life underachieving. This shows me that I can actually change my behaviour for the better with a bit of concentration. So perhaps I can stop being so lazy and lose a bit of weight!
Recon