Checking in-been a long time

[Sulcatas3]

Hey, family!! It's great to get back here and read some posts. I know it's been a long time since I've been here, and some of you might have been worried, but fear not!! I have not succumbed to that evil monster of p*. I am thrilled to say that I have not mb to p* since April of 2004. My life is incomprehensibly better for it, too. My wife and I are finally back to where we were before my weakness. We are back to being open and honest with one another, back to doing little nice things for each other, back to just wanting to be together (pretty much all the time). It feels so great to know that she doesn't lose sleep wondering what I'm doing on-line at this hour of the night. It's wonderful that we're back to communicating what we want again. And the very best part is, I don't have to scour the history list on the computer, desperately erasing anything I don't want her to see. It's been so long since I've deleted anything from the computer's history, I don't even think I know how to anymore.
I remember how it felt at the beginning, when I wasn't even sure I would be married anymore, and I just want to say--it is possible to work through this thing. It takes a considerable amount of work from us, and some understanding from them, but it is possible. my wife and I have finally worked through it. I know that it still bothers her sometimes, but those times are becoming rarer and rarer as she realizes that she can really trust me again. I am proud of where we are today, and proud to say that, once again, I have not needed p* and mb today. The entire thing is one day at a time, and I have finally strung together enough days to make a considerable total.
I know, however, that I can not afford to consider myself "cured." I know better than to walk down that slippery path. I will always be an addict, and I can never again use my drug of choice (p and mb). Make no mistake. Today is all we have. Today I will not use this drug. Today I will choose my family. I know that tonight I will be able to tell my wife everything I did today. That's a powerful feeling. I'm finally not ashamed of what I do all day!!!!!!! I just wanted to check in and maybe give some newcomers hope for the future.
May God bless us all

[zissou]

Inspiring words just when I needed them. Thank you for sharing, and congratulations thus far.

[gottabeatthis]

Thank you so much.

[ladybug71]

Thanks for taking time to share your story. I'm glad for you that things are looking up in your life. It is comforting for many of us to hear words of hope from somebody who has struggled out of the grip of this addiction.

Best wishes to you,
lb

[soulsurvivor]

My kingdom for more posts of this nature.

[little knight]

Hi. Congratulations on the long term sobriety that you have found.

I am curious. What do you do to stay sober nowadays? Do you have to go to meetings or anything like that? Maybe you just have to check in here every once in a while.

Just wondering.

God bless

[reconstituting]

Thanks. Just starting on what I hope and intend is your route. Great to know it can be done. I begin to see the rewards already.

Recon

[baysage]

It's just so inspiring to read of your success, your long-term success at sticking to a promise you made to yourself and your spouse. You've given me a lot of hope, and I'm just starting with recovery for myself and my marriage.

[needhelp]

Its great to read you have overcome this, Im just starting today here. Thanks for the inspiration... its a great feeling, that there are others also on this forum that are struggling in the same way.. and it helps a lot. The journal section is great too, just started using it.

[ethanm]

I resolve to have the kind of success you now enjoy after years of entrenchment. Kudos to you for a job well done and taking back your life!!!