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Post by tomlincolnsixecho on Dec 12, 2007 5:17:38 GMT -5
I haven't made much of an effort in much of my recovery at all to reach out to people. I have always been quite insular. Part of my efforts to make a big change is to get out there and comunicate with people.
I have a problem, I took up photography about three months ago, I've been learning all aspects of photography. About three - Four years ago I had a major problem with my obsessions and my video camera, and wasting entire days down at the beach filming women.
I had been taking general landscape shots and sport, other general shots. Then I had the chance to learn some photography with models. I never talked about this at my meetings or even on the board, as I was not sure.
I've on a couple of occasions let my obsessions get the better of me and I've snapped up a few pictures of women in public. I took some photos of the several models that were there, and I learned a lot from a few of the other people that were part of the group. Since then I've been getting into it, I've seen it as apossible career, I know its good money, its great to meet new people. I've been spending hours and hours creating potential poses, shots, places to shoot, I'm keenly interested in it for honest intentions, I even take interested in male models, honestly not as much as the females however. The problem is that I also can see my addictions trying to take some of the pie. While I was searching potential models to shoot in my area, I found myself looking through the database of models not in my area based on certain criteria. There was however definate integrity in my intentions but I got lost at times.
I'd like to hear what everyone thinks. I don't know what to do, I can see it as a problem for sure, but then what, do I lock myself up in a box and never come out?
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nina
Full Member
trying to forgive and heal
Posts: 126
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Post by nina on Dec 12, 2007 8:52:00 GMT -5
I've on a couple of occasions let my obsessions get the better of me and I've snapped up a few pictures of women in public...The problem is that I also can see my addictions trying to take some of the pie. There was however definate integrity in my intentions but I got lost at times...but then what, do I lock myself up in a box and never come out? perhaps since you're so into photography and it lets you bring out your creative side, maybe you could just photograph landscapes, buildings or people in general for a while (as opposed to just taking pictures of female models). or maybe you shouldn't continue on with this (photography) until you have a better handle on your sobriety. either way - this is something that only you can decide which direction you should take with this. I'm into photography also; although I haven't partaken in it for a long time. b & w's are my speciality and my main subjects of photography are children/babies, animals and nature scenery. whatever decision you make, try to make it the right one and be aware of what your limits/triggers are so you can do your best to avoid them. maybe sometime in the future you can post a link to a host site which exhibits some of your work! take care and remember to take each day as it comes.
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Post by 1dayatatime on Dec 12, 2007 10:27:52 GMT -5
I think you should find a new hobby. Giving up something as inconsequential as a hobby in order to advance your recovery shouldn't be a problem. It isn't a sacrifice, it is a trivial thing. You should be happy that you only need to give up something small instead of facing a major struggle to attain sobriety. Count your blessings.
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Post by Three Legged Dog on Dec 12, 2007 11:19:21 GMT -5
If you give up this hobby and potential career then your addiction has scored in a big way. It has robbed you of a fulfilling activity that can be wholesome.
But you must remain true to the ideals of this group. If your photography ever borders on exploitation, you must make a stand and walk, even if it costs you.
Prior to going into any situation with potential triggers you should prepare yourself, spiritually and emotionally. Consider the warrior's purification ritual prior to battle. Come here and read/post, pray, meditate, whatever it takes to put you in harmony with the true you and in control of the primal you.
Happy Christmas and Holiday Blessings!
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Post by tomlincolnsixecho on Dec 12, 2007 15:06:21 GMT -5
thanks for the replies, I know quite well I would get a mixed bag here, IT gives me some ideas to how I can go about this. Firstly, without being rude, I will never give up something I like 1dayatatime. I find it hard going out in public sometimes, does that mean I lock myself away and never come out. I got into photography for no reason at all because of my addictions.
Thanks nina. I have spent the last 2 months doing landscapes, cities, and other photographs, It does get to the point however, where you need to start taking other photos, because unless I'm travelling to other areas or countries, I need new photos to take. Im also in the learning curve, I go to a group where I get help on photos. I want to learn every aspect of photography.
I definitely sat down and thought about this. I said to myself. That my first rule would be that If I did to modelling shoots, Firstly I wouldn't do raunchy, smutty work, that appears in the typical mens magazines. The sort of work I would do would be fashion, and classy portrait shooting. And I think that takes it on its merits. This includes both men and women. I have a very creative mind, and I think I can show that in the way I photography, and the ideas I come up with. I definitely like the fact that I get to work with other people, and IT gives me a chance to get out there and communicate with other people and open up, because If I want to make it in photography particularly modelling, you have to be outgoing, and friendly, I'm not outgoing, so its forcing me to be.
If I stick to the rules then everything should in theory be fine.
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Post by tomlincolnsixecho on Dec 12, 2007 15:08:44 GMT -5
Btw I'm building my own website, which will have photos on it, but I for my anonymity will post the photos on another site at some stage to share, of some landscape/ city shots.
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 12, 2007 15:17:09 GMT -5
You have let this "hobby" drift into your addiction. And denial of this fact is denial, plain & simple. IMO, without full acceptance of this fact & that leaving any of your addiction's doors open is a problem, you are tempting fate & allowing for the possibility of relapse.
I find it interesting that you ask for opinions & then state that basically they don't matter 'cause you're gonna do it any way.
ETA:
And IMO the second you chose to allow it to become a part of your addiction, a way to a/o, it ceased being a "healthy hobby or outlet". You have to choose, though.
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Post by LookingUp on Dec 13, 2007 17:07:49 GMT -5
I have spent the last 2 months doing landscapes, cities, and other photographs, It does get to the point however, where you need to start taking other photos, because unless I'm travelling to other areas or countries, I need new photos to take. My husband and I are into amature photography and have over 950 pages in our web site of photographs. We have thousands of photos taken when we lived in a remote town in Northern Canada - there was one road into town and the next town was 7 hour drive away.... often impassable in winter. We never ran out of subjects for our lens and seldom went over 5 miles from our back door. We'd think about how we can take one more photo of snow that would show it differently; one more photo of how to better capture the frozen lake behind our house.... that is where taking photographs and being creative come into play. Find ways to think outside the proverbial box. I think possibly your addiction is telling you that you're limited by staying in one geographic area unless you take photos of models. But I think possibly staying in one geographic area and forcing yourself to see it with an artistic eye may become more fulfilling then branching out into various subject matter. My own opinion. I think of Ansel Adams - the beautiful photos he took sticking with just black and white; and most of his photos that I love were of Yosemite - from various views and with various lighting. LookingUp
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Post by tomlincolnsixecho on Dec 14, 2007 4:59:09 GMT -5
I've read into the posts and I agree this s a decision I have to make. I know what you mean lookingup. I'm very creative, and some of my friends laugh at my photos because they are so unconventional, and they find them funny. like the way I would pose for a self portrait.
I went on a hike a month ago, took me all day and then got the money shots I wanted, its hard to get motivated to get back there when you already have some awesome shots. However, I know that when winter comes, I have to go back there because everything will be green and wet, and give different photos.
As for the portraiture. I've made a set of guidelines.
1. I had thought about doing swimsuit, lingerie shots semi naked, obviously that was the addict in me coming out. I will NOT do these shots at all, I'm sure they could quite well be good styles of shooting, but It won't help my progress, so Its a NO for that.
2. I will stick to portraiture of a classy nature, based on fashion, and elegance rather than smutty content you would find in a mens magazine. I am making this clear with myself, So I know exactly what I am working on. Also I think I can gain more from taking more respectful shots.
I think if I stay within the boundries, I can still keep my sobriety going, and enjoy my photography.
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Post by davion2308 on Dec 15, 2007 18:25:17 GMT -5
The difficulty in this case is your ability to separate art and beauty with P. If you can ensure you are viewing the beautiful human body as an art form, much like you would see a waterfall or a beach, then you should be able to enjoy your art and your abilities.
Perhaps if you wanted to try people, go with folks with clothes on. Try to create dynamic scenes that convey intimacy between a child and a grandparent. Shoot portraits or action shots. Try to stay away from the arena of nudity for a while. If you feel like you can shoot topics that are borderline to P with NO problems, then give it a try.
If you try, and it turns out to be a poor decision, you tried. You're the one who can decide if this will be playing with matches or if it is completely and utterly harmless.
Stay tough!
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