Post by johnb1aze on Dec 24, 2007 2:18:49 GMT -5
I have lost count on the number of days since I began recovery. The number of days although in the back of my mind hasn't been my main focus throughout this process, my attention has been focused on improving myself and improving this situation that I created. I have had my good days and I still have bad days although it hasn't been to many bad days lately. I have made a couple of goals for the new year. Hopefully I will be able to stick to them. My top priority is to create a savings. I told my wife that I was going to save $10,000 next year and she looked at me like I was on something. At the moment my wife and I and my three children are living with my mother and older brother in the house that I grew up in. Although me and my wife have not paid any rent in this situation we have not been able to create any savings. Saving money has not been a focus for me and my wife for the past ten years. We are now looking to move out on our own. We both make ok money but live in sd california, money pit. The living situation that we live in now pretty much sucks. My older brother is crazy, my wife and I have self diagnosed him as schizophrenia, he won't seek help and the number of times we have offered to help him it's blown up in our face. So moving out back on our own although costly is a good move for us. I plant to save the money by putting away a percentage of each of my paychecks. At the moment I have 30% of my pay processed into a hard check so that I can save a hard check every two weeks. It hasn't helped lately with Christmas just around the corner, but a few things that we will be doing when we get our own place is, we won't be eating out at much so we can save money that way. I also hope to get a part time job here to increase the flow of income coming into our household. I can do this and will do it. The next goal is to continue with what I started this year and that is to stay sober 365 days next year. I want my marriage to be rekindled. I want to give my wife 100% of me and I want to live a real life. I have never gone so long without mb or porn, but I am committed to my goal. I have tried to kick the porn habit many times before, but failed at excluding mb. For the past weeks not restoring to mb has helped me to stay sober and so I will continue. My 3rd goal is to devote more time to my boys. I go to work, I go to school and I am not absent from their lives, but I would like to spend more quality time with them. Playing board games with them, playing sports with them, when we finally are living out on our own I will be able to dedicate more quality time to them. My fourth goal is to find a more suitable job for myself. I hope to complete the job change by February. The reason I am posting all of these down is because I need to be held accountable in my life. I need to change the way I look at my life and work to create positive change to keep me on the right track.