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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 14, 2007 1:21:07 GMT -5
This is my first journal post and i don't exactly know what to say. It's been about 6 days without any porn and i feel really good. I decided not to abstain from sexual activity from my girlfriend, but i will be not masturbating on my own. I am going all the way for the 100 days and will stop at nothing short of that. I'll probably be on here a couple times a week to update "myself". And i'm looking forward to that 100th day.
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 16, 2007 15:43:50 GMT -5
so i've gone a week so far without any P and Self M. I feel amazing but a little worried because it hasn't been very hard at all. I'm afraid that I am going to lose it out of nowhere. I can't wait for my 100th day because it's also going to come right around my highschool graduation. So here's to one more day at a time.
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wonked
Junior Member
Posts: 90
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Post by wonked on Apr 16, 2007 16:16:30 GMT -5
Keep up the good work. You are tackling this at a young age and showing what a man you already are, not to mention what you will be!
I wish I was as willing to face my issues at your age. I'm 32. You don't want to be in my shoes.
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 19, 2007 2:28:38 GMT -5
hey wonked, yeah i definitely am glad that i am getting rid of this now, but don't feel like you can't take it on now that you are older. I just felt the meanest urge to indulge in some porno but ran here instead. It's been a very good week and this has been the first real urge. I think it's because I am up late and this would usually be when i would act out. I did see some scantily clad women today, but wasn't thinking of them in the usually lustful way. thank God for this board. Okay I am going to bed before anything else happens. goodnight. This is day P-Free
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Post by haikuyou on Apr 19, 2007 3:05:19 GMT -5
skateyourheartout, or whatever:
just make a Big Plan never to do that stuff ever again. recognize that any voice in your head that hints at doing such things is NOT YOU but is an addictive voice, an animalistic urge, essentially a beast who would destroy everything you want to work for and everything you care about for a porn high. Whenever you hear ANYTHING in your head that suggests that you might fail in your Big Plan or suggests that acting out might be 'ok' - anything that casts porn or Masturbation in ANY sort of positive or ' -for your consideration-' light, laugh at it as the animalistic beast trying to get its high, straining for what it wants so bad. that beast would not hesitate to kill for its porn or jack off high, so dont hesitate to be a little sadistic and watch it suffer. (:
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 20, 2007 2:13:58 GMT -5
wow haikuyou i think you are the first person to get my screen name correct ( i use it for pretty much everything.) I agree whole heartedly with the animalistic view. It's very enlightening to view these urges as separate. They are not you, they are devilish in design and stem from the urge to sin. One quick question, Why do you say Nothing fails like prayer?
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Lanfear
Full Member
Good will always conquer evil.
Posts: 139
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Post by Lanfear on Apr 21, 2007 12:03:00 GMT -5
A week is a great start. I don't pretend to be some sort of expert as I am struggling just like you , but it's awesome that you saw some s dressed bad, and it wasn't a trigger. I know I probably would of been staring. Keep it up.
~We're all in this together...~
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 28, 2007 13:07:33 GMT -5
Alright, I was gone for a week camping with my school class, which was really awesome. I was about 2 feet from a baby seal in the wild. Had a lot of fun, Didn't act out once, and I'm back on day 20 P and M free. 1/5th of the way there. This is has to be the longest i have gone without P, I'm still surprised but I'm not giving up anytime soon. Thanks for the support guys.
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 29, 2007 13:33:46 GMT -5
well i had a fight with my girlfriend and ended up breaking my hiatus last night. I'm pretty disappointed but i have found out that i only act out late at night. So i decided to set a "curfew" so i will not be tempted. I will no longer be on the computer past 9:00. This will allow me to only be on while people are still up in the house. Starting fresh on day 1. Ugh this sucks.
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Apr 30, 2007 16:23:41 GMT -5
sucks cause i did it again last night. I didn't even try to stop, i think i am exhausted from the camp out. No excuse, though starting fresh again. I'm going to go for a month goal this time, just to keep things in perspective. I really wish I could just get this over with. I feel I can't pray because of the stuff I've done, not just the porn but that every time God tells me not to do something I don't even care and there are so many things I have done in the past. It's not the big things but the little things, when the Holy Spirit whispers in my ear to stay away I ignore it and now when I need help how can I go to God whom I have ignored over and over. It doesn't seem right. I know He's always accepting and always there for me but I'm abusing my privilege of prayer. Man I just want to pray but the sins are weighing me down and I can't let go of them. They have bound me on the path I have chosen and I have gone so far along that I fear I can't turn back. I wish God would just take control of me and force me the right way but I know that is impossible. I must make this choice for myself and live the choice I make. God help me....
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Post by sktyrhrtout on May 14, 2007 13:02:08 GMT -5
okay i have been off for a while and i thought this was going to be easy but i was wrong. I am back on and i'm going to start reading the bible cause this is just not possible wihtout God. So starting fresh: DAY 1!!!!
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Post by sktyrhrtout on Dec 20, 2007 3:40:54 GMT -5
it's been a while, but i have come back. I have drifted far in the time i have been gone but i think it's time to tame this thing. I am not going to set goals, I am not going to make promises, not yet. I am going to take this day by day and I wish to simply be who i am without this terrible thing. I need to stop this now, and I need this boards help. Thank you to anyone who replies. Pray for me, and I will do the same. God help us.
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