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Post by rabid on Mar 13, 2005 6:21:23 GMT -5
Ok, this has to stop. It's 6 AM, I didn't sleep last night, and something must be done. I believe this is at least the 4th time that I vowed away P*, and it keeps coming back. A different tactic this time...
No more P* for me. Here beginneth day 1. I will break this spell that P* seems to have over me. No more sleepless nights. The line is drawn in the sand.
Now,
Sleep.
Encouragement and advice appreciated.
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Post by rabid on Mar 13, 2005 13:53:39 GMT -5
Ok, I found that I really only look at P* late at night. If I can get to bed earlier, then it may cut down on the cravings. Also, I almost always view it when my roommate isn't here, so I'll have to be extra-vigilant when he's gone.
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Post by Alec on Mar 13, 2005 19:55:38 GMT -5
Dear Rabid:
When they gone (Your roomates), go outside, too !!! Get some coffee, go to the library, movies, just walk, ha ha !!! If You are not strong enough yet try not to stay home alone !!!
I Believe in You and Pray for Your Success !!! Glad that You are HERE with US !!!
P.S. I will be HERE for Your Day 2 tomorrow !!! Don't let me down, ha ha !!!
God Bless
Alec
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Post by rabid on Mar 13, 2005 19:59:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the support, Alec. It gets more difficult because my roommate is a local, so he often spends Friday and Saturday nights at home. Good ideas though.
I think I'll be ok for tonight. I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes.
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Post by Alec on Mar 13, 2005 21:10:12 GMT -5
My Pleasure, Dear Rabid !!!
Please, keep posting HERE - it will keep You busy and away from P. which is extremely important in the beginning - to be busy 7/24, ha ha !!!
Pray for You and Proud of You !!!
God Bless,
Alec
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Post by rabid on Mar 13, 2005 22:12:25 GMT -5
Oh, I definitely will. And I just got some books of arias and piano sonatas to keep me busy  |
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Post by INSEARCHOF... on Mar 13, 2005 22:21:58 GMT -5
Log off your computer and
Un plug your network connection at night disconnect the cord and put it away...
That way if you are tempted to act out at night you will have to connect all that stuff together and then boot your computer...
This will add considerable time between when you are being tempted and when you can act out..
MORE TIME TO BAIL OUT and save your sobriety
I know it's all a pain but it at least adds to your chances.. It's worked for me... my priest suggested it and it worked
Good Luck and don't get discouraged
Peace and Prayers to all who struggle.
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Post by rabid on Mar 14, 2005 2:07:54 GMT -5
I will make that my next step if I can't make it.
Ok, it's late, and I'm avoiding bed. Night night. (day 2, btw)
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Post by 1975 on Mar 14, 2005 2:26:45 GMT -5
Rabid,
Welcome and congrats on your first steps to a fuller life!
Have you checked out the linked articles on the New Members post at the top of the General Board? Great stuff there.
'75
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Post by paradox on Mar 14, 2005 11:33:33 GMT -5
Rabid,
I would like to also extend a welcome to the board.
Stepping out of the shadows and declaring your problem, as well as your intent to fight it, requires bravery and resolve. Contratulations!
I wish you all the best in your efforts.
And, Hey! Anyone with Calvin for an avatar can't be bad.
Peace, my brother
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Post by rabid on Mar 15, 2005 0:45:14 GMT -5
here beginneth the 3rd day. (triggers?)
So, I've been noticing certain things that I never noticed before.
1. Getting porn out of your head is damned hard. If I even start to think about it (even about not looking at it), images start flashing in front of my eyes and I have to physically shake my head to get rid of them. I guess I never really paid attention to/saw a problem with that before...
2. I fantasize a LOT. I'll be walking around, and I'll have idle fantasies about girls that I see on campus. Sometimes even with close friends. It's weird. I remember one time I fantasized about my cousin while I was talking to her face to face... ugh. Didn't see a problem with it at the time.
3. Putting myself to bed is difficult. Anybody else have a problem with this? It's like there's something pulling me away from bed - not that I'm not tired, or not ready to go to sleep, but I start to get mildly nervous when I start the process to put myself to bed. Does the p* calm me down? Is the nervousness from the p* or might it be some sort of withdrawal? Hmm... questions questions.
Still going strong... *fingers crossed for tomorrow*
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Post by rabid on Mar 15, 2005 0:46:18 GMT -5
Oh, also, unplugging my computer is impractical because I have to use it so much, but I found that if I close my screen, it's an easy deterrent.
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Post by rabid on Mar 17, 2005 9:56:45 GMT -5
Day 5. Still going strong. The urges are strong, though. Meeting with a counselor today. Hopefully we'll be able to get down to some root issues.
Gotta go.
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Post by INSEARCHOF... on Mar 17, 2005 23:18:04 GMT -5
The more your fears and your worries and your issues and your addictions are out on the table in an appropriate forum the quicker you will discover your road to sobriety
Congratuations.... on your desire to walk down that road
Peace
and Prayers Promised for all who struggle
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