Question about STDS

[Karahma123]

I want to ask you girls a question but I'm afraid it might be "triggering content" how do I use that feature?

Okay I just figured it out.

[trigger] So as my recent posts have been talking about, i found out my husband has been using p* continuously throughout our marriage ven though he ha dstopped seeing his therapist and claimed he was "cured." Such a liar. Anyways, a few months ago I noticed some sores on my husband, "down there." When I confronted him about it this time , after he told me everything supposedly, he said it was due to m*ing so much. I've never heard of anything like that and quite frankly I'm wondering if I need to schedule a trip to the Dr's to get checked out myself. He does go out sometimes and I don't know the people he's hanging out with, who knows if he's actually going where he says he's going. I used to think he wasn't looking at p* or m*ing but the truth is he was just tricker than I thought possible. So now I'm wondering if he's acted out in other ways sexually, too.

He has cheated on me with a stripper before. [/trigger]

[realthing]

use the pistol icon next to the list icon above the smile faces - then enclose your text between the trigger tag.

[milla]

I think you're just going to have to go ahead and go, because otherwise it's going to continue to bother you. Better to know and be safe.

[Karahma123]

My question is, am I crazy thinking that? or could it possibly be a STD?

[milla]

No, you're not crazy. STD's are common among sex workers and it looks like he plays around with them.

I suppose it could be a rubbing injury, but only you know what you saw, whether it looked more like a friction burn or, say, a herpes sore.

[Karahma123]

It might have been a herpes sore. It didn't necessarily look like a friction burn.

oh my ....if i found out he was actually cheating on me, I'll flip out.

This is the sort of patterns of a SA though, aren't they? He pretends it's not going on, but in reality he's engaging in all of this behavior and the behaivor is escalating as time goes on. Last time I found out he was driving around town buying p* while I was pregnant last year.

And the thing with the stripper- I thought it was a one time deal since it happened at his bachelor party, now I'm not so sure if he even has it in him to tell me the truth.

I told my husband that I'm arranging for a polygraph exam and he said he'd tell me everything so he wouldn't fail. Thing is, 4 years ago we already went through this and although he passed the parts about actually cheating on me, he failed four times when it came to his PA. All of these years he's been telling me that polygraph tests are wrong, they can't tell the truth.

The truth is, I'm not even sure he'll ever 'fess' up if he's been actually acting out sexually because since he failed the last polygraph test, he seems to feel that they don't actually work. He even has the cajones to tell me that even after this last bout of betrayal that the test was still a lie. So, who knows.

Looks like I'm going to a Dr. soon.

[LookingUp]

My ex2 gave me a STD - syphyllis. He was a PA who liked to go to Mustang ranches in Nevada. The bright side is you'll know and if it's negative, then you'll know what his friction burns look like.

I'm sorry you're going through that.

[zerotolerance]

It could definately be an std, and/or it could be a rash from mb. One thing is for sure, it's not normal to have sores on our genitilia whatsover. P/mb use and it's effects are progressive and cummulative. They may start out with just pics, but they often end up with disease infested prostitutes. And even if it is just a sore, wth? Does he think it's normal to wank it until it's sore? I don't think it's normal whatsoever. It sounds more like self mutilation to me. You should be concerned about it, and you should get yourself checked, and probably stop being sexually intimate with him, until you know for sure.

I will add this though, my h has a rash or sore spots too. He claims it's on his thigh, other places, but it's only in the groin area. We're not intimate so I don't have access to see it clearly, however I got a glimpse of it once. It looked a lot like a ringworm thing. He claims its an uncurable skin problem and that he has it in other places too. But he doesn't. I've seen his arms, his chest, his legs, and I haven't seen any sores anywhere else like he claims he has. He's tried various prescriptions to clear it up, but evidently it's "perminent" according to him. I read the prescription names, and looked em all up, and they're id'd as non specific general skin rash medications. I don't know what the heck it is, but I know he's not honest about anything, so I sure don't buy his version of what it is. I know he lied about where it is, so he's still just a liar imo. And I have a strong suspescion that whatever it is, it's related to his p/mb problem somehow imo.

[dazednconfused]

when in doubt, check it out. Get a full panel of std's checked for. It's not bad enough that he could possibly give you an std, but if he carries HPV, he could have given you cancer. I would definitely check it out. Many std's are not symptomatic in women, so you don't know unless you are checked. Didn't you say you have a baby? You should have been screened for HIV then atleast.

Again, check it out, for your own safety and sanity. And BTW- not once on this forum have I seen the question "am I crazy" where the answer was EVER yes!

[megan11]

I have to agree with everyone else here and say go get yourself checked out. If he cheated on you once, there is nothing stopping him from doing it again. You cant walk around holding his hand all the time to make sure he is a good little boy, all you can do is protect yourself. If you see sores, assume the worst till you know you are ok. If hes given you heartache and grief, lets stop him before he gives you something else. I would make him go to the Dr as well and i would hold his hand there till i made sure his "sores" were just from pulling it.
With SA they do excalate from pics, to porn to cheating and other bad things. My H just confessed to me that if it were in his face (and it being not mine) he cant tell me he wouldnt have done it, he is just happy he never had the chance. He also said that he felt like he had hit the end if the internet world, and the DVDs he was renting he would spend a good amount of time fast forwarding through them, i think he was on the verge of looking for some a/o with a real woman.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself and make him get checked before he wrecks you or anyone else.
If it were me, i would have had an appt already. This is not something to sit on and wait.
I wish you luck and stay away from him till he gets checked.

[buffalosgirl]

I've had cervical cancer issues - had it, had it removed. Got HPV from my 'been-around-the-block non-condom-using' PA, and now I'm cancerous once again. GET TESTED.

[Mayberry]

I too am a victim of HPV. It cannot be tested for in men (edited to add: though it can be identified if they're in "outbreak" mode). GET TESTED, please. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[mo4wo1]

When I found out I had herpes, I was told they could only test a sore. So in other words, I had to break out first. Found out I had that while in the last trimester of my 2nd pregnancy, first with my H.

It is highly likely I have HPV. I have the same symptoms as my aunt who has them. This year, several months ago, my doctor asked me to come in for a colposcopy. Turns out, the ex GF that gave my H chlamydia also gave him warts. The clinic he went to many years ago told him once he used the meds & the warts were gone, he was clean & never had to worry again. I have a family history of reproductive-type cancers in the women on my mother's side and other cancers on my father's side.

Due to financial reasons, I cannot get the colp done. I have to wait for tax-return. I am feeling & living with symptoms of cancer right now. I am afraid.




Get tested.
Trust what you know; he's lied about this stuff before, he's cheated & now he has sores.

Your life may very well be dependent on this and that is worth a billion times more than his pride.

[dazednconfused]

Kara-
I just did a little board digging. I would be seething beyond belief if your husband gave you and STD- you already have an autoimune issue and he comprimises your health further. Let's face it, if he was with a stripper (even if right before you were married) he already had little enough concern for your health that he was with a stripper in the first place.

Please get tested... you need to be as healthy as possible for your little baby.