Post by ethanm on Jan 12, 2008 11:56:11 GMT -5
I had a stroke of clarity the other day, it occurred to me my health was like a garden, with a HUGE weed right in the middle, denying sunlight and nutrition to the rest of the garden. I first ignored it "Its healthy enough." Then when someone pointed out how tall the weed was, I trimmed it to look nice and tried to pass it off as something I wanted in my garden. Others could see the weed, I just wanted it accepted as a true plant in my garden. It grew back with tenacity, and again, I ignored it.
I was again shook when my garden began to wither, and I thought "Oh, its just the sunlinght loss, I'll trim the weed down even FURTHER, now that I know its a weed, and maybe it might even die, whoopie!" That worked a little while longer, but everyone knew there was still a live weed, growing back, the garden took a temporary turn for the better, but it was not long before the weed sprouted again.
The next time someone turned my head. "Look at that weed! Why aren't you doing something about it??!! Don't you know it is killing your garden, damaging your spouses' garden next to it?? How could you risk so much for a WEED?" I had been through this cycle too many times. It was now painfully obvious what was going on. I took a moment and thought about all the effort I made and knew why they fell short. I knew I had to roll up my sleeves and dig it out.
Weeds that have had enough time to wrap themselves around every plant in the garden for so long are the most difficult, but I knew what was at risk. This is where I am at. Garden dug up, dirt and plants everywhere, razed to the ground and shoveling deeper and deeper, trying to find every root. This board is my shovel, you folks another set of eyes spotting every root that does not belong. As long as I keep digging and learning more about what I am facing, success is inevitable.
Perhaps even one day, my wife's garden will come to bloom again as well. Perhaps even she will help me dig my garden by my side, even though it has hurt her to watch my weed grow. She needs the confidence that my weed is 100% gone, and any tiny weedlings that may pop up will be dealt with swiftly, thoroughly, and with her knowledge. She needs to know I care about my garden deeply, and care about hers even more, and while I may not be able to right away dig into hers with her, I can at least hand her the tools. For right now, the fact she has kept her garden in the same soil as mine, is the biggest sign of faith I can expect.
I was again shook when my garden began to wither, and I thought "Oh, its just the sunlinght loss, I'll trim the weed down even FURTHER, now that I know its a weed, and maybe it might even die, whoopie!" That worked a little while longer, but everyone knew there was still a live weed, growing back, the garden took a temporary turn for the better, but it was not long before the weed sprouted again.
The next time someone turned my head. "Look at that weed! Why aren't you doing something about it??!! Don't you know it is killing your garden, damaging your spouses' garden next to it?? How could you risk so much for a WEED?" I had been through this cycle too many times. It was now painfully obvious what was going on. I took a moment and thought about all the effort I made and knew why they fell short. I knew I had to roll up my sleeves and dig it out.
Weeds that have had enough time to wrap themselves around every plant in the garden for so long are the most difficult, but I knew what was at risk. This is where I am at. Garden dug up, dirt and plants everywhere, razed to the ground and shoveling deeper and deeper, trying to find every root. This board is my shovel, you folks another set of eyes spotting every root that does not belong. As long as I keep digging and learning more about what I am facing, success is inevitable.
Perhaps even one day, my wife's garden will come to bloom again as well. Perhaps even she will help me dig my garden by my side, even though it has hurt her to watch my weed grow. She needs the confidence that my weed is 100% gone, and any tiny weedlings that may pop up will be dealt with swiftly, thoroughly, and with her knowledge. She needs to know I care about my garden deeply, and care about hers even more, and while I may not be able to right away dig into hers with her, I can at least hand her the tools. For right now, the fact she has kept her garden in the same soil as mine, is the biggest sign of faith I can expect.