Post by canimrod on Nov 19, 2007 10:47:06 GMT -5
Some of you may remember me, some of you may remember only my post on the 5 fingers of porn addiction.
I am proud to be able to say that I have been living the past 4 years with my hands open to the world. I have welcomed a new child into my life (my 3rd boy, in 2005), I have changed jobs, my wife became a stay-at-home mom, all without slipping back into my old ways of coping with such stresses.
I have been able to genuinely face each of these changes and stressors with my own mind and have learned to handle them without "forgetting" them through abusing myself and those around me. While my marriage is as stressed as ever for various reasons that we all face at one time or another, my wife does not live in fear of my porn addiction any more, and neither do I.
I know it is there, I know where I have been and that I could always wind up there again, but this knowledge has helped me stay clear of that trap.
My life has not been all peaches and roses. I have done things and made friends that were not healthy for me. I never slipped back towards my old ways, but was definitely headed back down that path a time or two. With the courage of my wife and her strength to confront me and tell me how she feels, and my own ability to step back and see/listen to the absurdity of my own rationalizations (that I learned here!!) I was able to right my own ship before I fell back into my addiction.
Fighting SA is a life-long battle. I was aware of that once I found my path to recovery, and still understand that today. Keeping the eyes focused forward and not reliving the past has been an important part of my recovery. It is a tiring road that may never have a true end.
My struggles have now abated. My every-day life is filled with work, family, friends (good ones!!), and myself. I think that I always had those things around me before but I was never there because of my addiction. Now that I am why would I want to leave!!
I take strength that others here before me have been as strong and stronger. I hope to give strength to others who can see that I am another example of how SA can be conquered and sedated into the past. We will all have our trials, but to recognize them and still continue to succeed in recovery is the best form of motivation I can find.
Thank you all for your support (even when I wasn't here and participating I always knew I could come back if I needed it), and I will start to pop in and out again as time permits to continue to help others.
-ca_nimrod (Colman)
I am proud to be able to say that I have been living the past 4 years with my hands open to the world. I have welcomed a new child into my life (my 3rd boy, in 2005), I have changed jobs, my wife became a stay-at-home mom, all without slipping back into my old ways of coping with such stresses.
I have been able to genuinely face each of these changes and stressors with my own mind and have learned to handle them without "forgetting" them through abusing myself and those around me. While my marriage is as stressed as ever for various reasons that we all face at one time or another, my wife does not live in fear of my porn addiction any more, and neither do I.
I know it is there, I know where I have been and that I could always wind up there again, but this knowledge has helped me stay clear of that trap.
My life has not been all peaches and roses. I have done things and made friends that were not healthy for me. I never slipped back towards my old ways, but was definitely headed back down that path a time or two. With the courage of my wife and her strength to confront me and tell me how she feels, and my own ability to step back and see/listen to the absurdity of my own rationalizations (that I learned here!!) I was able to right my own ship before I fell back into my addiction.
Fighting SA is a life-long battle. I was aware of that once I found my path to recovery, and still understand that today. Keeping the eyes focused forward and not reliving the past has been an important part of my recovery. It is a tiring road that may never have a true end.
My struggles have now abated. My every-day life is filled with work, family, friends (good ones!!), and myself. I think that I always had those things around me before but I was never there because of my addiction. Now that I am why would I want to leave!!
I take strength that others here before me have been as strong and stronger. I hope to give strength to others who can see that I am another example of how SA can be conquered and sedated into the past. We will all have our trials, but to recognize them and still continue to succeed in recovery is the best form of motivation I can find.
Thank you all for your support (even when I wasn't here and participating I always knew I could come back if I needed it), and I will start to pop in and out again as time permits to continue to help others.
-ca_nimrod (Colman)
