Fell again

[unwiseguy]

Went almost two weeks with only some slight middle circle dailances, then BAM, last night at home I screwed up royally. P, then MB. then relief, then guilt, then anger.

Followed up today with more P, and a desire to do more surfing (that's the big weakness, not looking at it but surfing for it) . (insert more vulgarity here)

It was nice run, but I didn't think I'd sabatoge my thin line of defense so abruptly. By staying clean at work, the temptation decreased at work but then moved to the home where it had never really surfaced before.

I need a new rule, no more internet after the wife goes to bed.

so if anyone out there feels like they're the stupidest jerk on the planet - get in line!


PS Heard a poll on the radio, almost 40% of couples are not regularly having sex, even on a monthly basis. Hectic schedules and a couple other reasons were listed, but one big reason was porn.

Made me feel a bit better knowing that although I'm swimming in "loser" behavior, I'm trying to do something about it.

[friendlygiant]

Dust yourself off and get back in the saddle again unwiseguy.You've made some headway,despite this setback. I think your new internet rule could have some " bite " to it.I hope it helps you. Keep up the good fight.
-FG

[pac2544]

I am right there with you, unwiseguy. I went three weeks without porn or mb and then , bam (if I may quote you) I slipped and have beenon a binge for the last two weeks. Even though i was able to stay away from porn I still had this feeling deep inside that I wasn't quite right yet. I don't know if or when that feeling goes away. I remember going three months without it many years ago and even that was a bit of a struggle. So now I am in therapy (single and group). It is good to tell real people. This forum is great, but not a substute for real relationships.
PAC

[wamu]

unwise....ur ok man. ur a champ in my book cuz i haven't went 2 weeks since 1995 and that was just b/c i was in a prison like environment...not exactly prison more like juvy but not exactly u get the point. anywho 2 freaking weeks is tops in my book. now u got something to build on. this is almost the end of day 5 for me and as lame as that sounds it's the longest i've been in the last 12 yrs. If you can make 2 weeks so can I. And I will. so keep your head up! You can beat this thing. YOu will beat this thing. NOw get back in the arena and join the fight.

[grillo]

I'm with you Wamu. Lets knock this mother out. I think it all helps if you can find belief in yourself. If you can believe you are a strong inside to do it. Don't predict failure. Predict victory. And go for the gold.

I'm 26 days and a clean and green machine.
No retreat.

[Rorke's Drift]

Unwise guy, grillo and wamu are right. You have som much to be thankful for. A wife who loves and supports you. Do you know what I would give for that?

I'm going to give you some suggestions. Do you know anything about "the law of attraction" ? It exists. It's real, like gravity.

That being said, my suggestion to you for a start is to change your profilename. Dont brand yourself as unwise! To defeat this battle, you have to start at the foundation...the root. You.

Read about law of attraction and apply it to your own circumstance. Let me leave you with a couple of quotes -

"A man is literally what he thinks."
James Allen

"Doing more of what doesn't work won't make it any better."
Charles J Givens


Embrace the changes you will take once you read about law of attraction -

Change is lthe law of lief. And those who look to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

John F Kennedy

Rorke's Drift