I am 24 and need some HELP

[byron1]

Well i am back from another miserable defeat of trying to be porn free. I doing so well then i let my guard down and for the last few months i have been depressed. I WANT IT TO END! I WANT TO GO TO BED AND WAKE UP AND FORGET IT EVER HAPPEN! I DON'T WANT TO WANT PORN!

For 14 years i have been addicted and half of that i was a teenager who had no i idea how this mess up my life. I have a family that i love, great job, and friends that care about me but i know that i can loose it all in just minutes. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!! I PRAY FOR GOD TO HELP ME!!

I am 24 with a family (wife and 7month old daughter) can someone please be my accountability partner.

[chad32]

Hi byron, welcome to the board.

I can hear your anguish in the above post, and I can also associate with your feelings. I have been addicted to P for about 10 years and using it for a lot longer. I am also a Christian, and have stuggled with the guilt and secrecy for that whole time.

I'm no expert, but I suggest taking it one day at a time. It helps me to keep a record of how many days you have gone without P (and MB?) and to post your successes on this board so that others can encourage you. Until I found this board last month I never thought that freedom from P was possible, but encouraged by the success of others I am now 43 days free of P. I think that's my 10 year record!!

I'm 32 years old, with a loving wife and 2 small kids. I'm doing it for them, for myself, and most of all for my God. I would highly recommend a free 60-day Bible based P recovery course called the Way of Purity on www.settingcaptivesfree.com. I'm 13 days into the course and it gives lots of reasons to quit and encourage you along the way.

I'll pray for you too - that you find freedom from P and peace with God. I also suggest joining Mayberry's "prayer list" in the general forum. This is a great encouragement.

I agree with your sentiments of "I WANT IT TO END! I WANT TO GO TO BED AND WAKE UP AND FORGET IT EVER HAPPEN! I DON'T WANT TO WANT P!", but is a long and hard battle. Try replacing P with something opposite (like reading the Bible or posting on this board).

Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further.

Chad

[Rorke's Drift]

I can help you byron1.....

I'm a grizzled vet when it comes to this battle. I would like to share with you some strategies to use to win this battle.

1. good news! if you are using this site you are more than halfway there! send in a post everyday both to update your progress and send in replies to help others (we're all in the same boat).

2. Get involved with your church - Go to church every week. Pray every day (if not already doing this) you won't win this battle
without help from above.

3. Establish accountability with somebody. Keep them posted with your progress on a weekly or monthly basis.

4. KEY - You must start with the root. YOU. Your mind. You are going to have to give your brain an overhaul. I would recommend making a commitmemnt to read about a dozne self help books and see where that takes you. Start with Chicken Soup for the Soul. Say affirmations daily. Get subsicribed to an email motivational quote list. You will have to brainwash yourself into a new you.

5. Set some goals. Write them down. Look at them daily, and make it happen.

6. Find a healthy release. For me, it's lifting wieghts or running. find what works best for you and identify that as "your RELEASE"

7. Get involved with helping others. Be there for your friends and neighbor, listen to them and help them when you can. Try do do a good act each day. Take pride in all your accomplishments.

8. Give yourself a pat on the back. You're already on the right track.

9. If P was a rock...and you dropped it in a pond...it would send out ripples...but if you dropped a bigger rock in the pond...it would send out larger ripples and blot out P's ripples. Find out what that rock is for you and drop it. What is your passion? what are you good at?

10. Takle it one day at a time. Rome wasnt built over night. You're gonna win this thing buddy.

“The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.”
Vince Lombardi


God speed.
Rorke's Drift

[johnb1aze]

Hey Byron... good luck with your journey. It all begins with you and seeking the help of others is a major step in ending this addiction. Rorke is right in saying that you are going to need to make some major changes to the way you think in order to kick the habit. I too was heavily viewing porn at an early age. When I was old enough to go to the adult bookstore I would readily go and rent multiple porno movies in a visit... never being satisfied with the amount of porn I would watch. Then there was the internet... I no longer had to go to the corner adult bookstore to fuel my fire it was available for me at a touch of a button 24/7 and in most cases it was free. I wouldn't need to go to the bookstore and feel the discomfort and shame associated with the trip. So now here we both are doing our best to change our behaviors and that's going to take a change of thinking and you are going to need to make a change in your belief system, because you and I have been fooled by the porn industry into thinking that there is nothing wrong with porn and that there is nothing wrong in objectifying women. Here are some steps that I have taken to help me out these past couple of weeks...

Visit this site frequently... read the journals of others. Not only of addicts, but also those of their partners. Realize the pain that this addiction inflicts on others like you and their partners.

Visit and participate in the Recovery Nation site. It is a great program to help you begin your recovery.

Buy a journal and journalize your thoughts. Be honest to yourself. These thoughts you can reflect on to focus on aspects of your life that need change. Also you may discover the reasons why you resort to porn. Be as blunt as you like. Don't sugar coat it. This is you.

Be transparent with your wife. If porn has been a thorn in your marriage, ask your partner for help in combating this demon.

Read books about this addiction. Read books on self improvement. I am in the midst of three books on recovery and self improvement... the books that I have been reading have focused on myself, communicating with my partner, recovery from porn addiction. You can never do enough reading.

Stay away from the temptation. If you are attracted to computer porn, limit your access to the computer. You may want to ask your partner for help in this area with parental controls if so. Be honest to yourself and you are the only one that knows what these temptations are.

You need to battle this addiction one day at a time. There may be some hiccups along the way, but remember to be true to yourself and structure your plan to recovery. You are taking the right steps, if you need an accountability partner I will be here, but you should seek an actual partner who will be physically and emotionally there for you. Good luck.

[ingodwetrust]

www.recoverynation.com/
You can do it!