Angry tones

[DennisW]

I have not been as successful with the yelling like I wanted to. All it takes is one comment or one outburst and any positive units in the love bank are depleted. I really want to improve this.

I got frustrated this morning and said some things with a negative tone. My wife wanted to use the bathroom while I was getting ready for a shower. She knocked on the door. I said she could come in. She opened the door and stood there with the door open, but did not come in. It was upsetting to me because of the cold air and because it feels like she is avoiding sexuality by avoiding seeing me in the shower. I said, "we are married. You are not going to see anything you have not seen before." I said it with an angry tone.

I want to stop responding in this kind of way, but am struggling with it.

[cammy]

DennisW,
I have found slow improvement with outburst stuff. I don`t understand it all for me but I have noticed that with time and conversation with DW my reactive nature has lessened. At least with her. With others it`s been worse! But that for me is good because I would internalise often. One guy`s experience. My advice is work on it and I bet it gets better with time.

[Curious Voyager]

So were you taking her inventory? Or did you tell you that's what she was feeling and thinking? Maybe she wanted you to feel the cold for a wholly different reason.

And so ya know--I struggle with the loud, aggressive, often testy, sometimes angry stuff too. It's a habit and one like swearing, no so easy to break. Because my wife has become more active as a partner in my recovery she now reacts differently and I am often able to look like a complete moron while says to her--"UH, let me rephrase that" or "What I meant to say was"

That's the problem when you have a 150+ mph mouth and a brain that runs at 35 mph.

Don't ya hope someday we catch up with our mouths?