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Post by liberta on Dec 16, 2007 6:19:41 GMT -5
Addicted for almost 12 years. 3 months ago I firmly decided to stop, and since than I don't have any wish to do it. But in those 3 months I suffer depressions, social phobia, so many shame based fears, everything that I hold inside somehow came out,...
Is there any thread or useful articles about different stages of recovery. I want to relate my experance of sobriety in this period with others (who are sober longer than me), I want to know if this things are normal, if this will pass (how long does it last) and what kind of change can I expect. Something for my motivation...
Thank you for your answers!
Nick
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Rorke's Drift
Junior Member
If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it.
Posts: 66
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Post by Rorke's Drift on Dec 17, 2007 20:18:38 GMT -5
I would recommend that you try using affirmations to help get your mind running on a more positive frequency. I would write them on index cards and look at them, review them when you wake up, before you got to bed, if not once more during the day. Give a try for a week, and I think you will feel the changes happen. I would also make it a goal to do some kind of good act each day.
Maybe try these -
I am a genius. I apply my wisdom
Eveyrday, in everyway, I'm getting better and better.
I am happy, and I am winning.
I love myself.
I am a loving person.
* I perform all tasks with energy and enthusiasm.
* I find it easy to act on my goals.
* I am unstoppable.
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Post by completelydone on Dec 17, 2007 23:32:33 GMT -5
Addicted for almost 12 years. 3 months ago I firmly decided to stop, and since than I don't have any wish to do it. But in those 3 months I suffer depressions, social phobia, so many shame based fears, everything that I hold inside somehow came out,... Is there any thread or useful articles about different stages of recovery. I want to relate my experience of sobriety in this period with others (who are sober longer than me), I want to know if this things are normal, if this will pass (how long does it last) and what kind of change can I expect. Something for my motivation... Thank you for your answers! Nick These are the things that were beneath your addiction all along; the things you used porn to ignore. What was/is the cause of those feelings. Deal with that and heal it. It sucks for a while because going back to what lead you to be an addict to start with hurts, but if you deal with it, it won't hurt forever. It's been a long time since I dealt with my own personal issues that caused me to be an addict of many things. The pain, depression, fear, shame, etc. over it all has been long gone, but my husband's more recent recovery was very hard on him. When he dealt with his past he was on an emotional roller coaster for quite some time. He expressed feeling like dying would be easier actually and fear that his pain would never end. I encouraged him to stick with the grieving process and to talk to me about how he felt through it all. Talking, crying (I know that's not macho  ), screaming, ranting, raging.............. just whatever gets it all out, is what heals us. That and realizing that what other people do to us, or how they judge us, does not determine our value or who we are. Part of healing from being an SO, is to realize that my husband's porn addiction was never about a short coming within me, but within him. It had nothing to do with my value in any sense, but in his lack of feeling valuable; from his fear. Express what you feel; even if it's alone to yourself, to God, or on paper. Talk to your wife, or a friend, or anyone you can trust if you aren't married. Don't just talk about what happened to you, talk about how it made you feel. That's where the pain is released. And at some point, forgive whoever hurt you. I wish you speedy healing, CD |
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Rorke's Drift
Junior Member
If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it.
Posts: 66
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Post by Rorke's Drift on Dec 18, 2007 20:30:11 GMT -5
Yes, if someone has hurt you, you must forgive and move forward. Did you have a good relationship with your parents growing up?
I realize that the reason why I am a recovering porn addict is because I was abused by my father growing up. I had anything but a self esteem, and I always lived in fear of him. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I know there is a direct link between the way I was brought up and P.
Now, I know better and I thank God for it, for answering my prayers. I don't know why He waited so long to answer them, but He did give me the answer. I have to heal myself from within. That last sentence is worth reading again because that is what you will have to do to. You must dig to the root itself. Nurture the root, and everything else will fall into place and grow, like a healthy green leaf...your mind body and soul.
Your going to have to think out of the box. Brainwash yourself.
My suggestion would be for you to -
1. Have a prayer life. Get involved with a church (if you're not already)
2. Make some goals. Write them down and keep track of them on a routine basis...and reward yourself for achieving them.
3. Clean the root - Get involved reciting some affirmations to yourself. Say them to yourslef daily over and over and over and over....both verbally and in your mind. Read some motivational and inspiring quotes everyday. You take a shower everyday don't you? It's the same way with your thoughts.
4. Go buy some self help books. Starting reading them daily. Make a goal to read a dozen, and see where that takes you.
Remember...Rome wasn't built over night...it takes time...but I can tell you, if you get past this hurdle with P, you will achieve GREAT things before your life is over. I can promise you that. The Good Lord would not put this problem in your life without something of equal or greater benefit. You just have to find it. By being on this site, you're already halfway there.
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. Vince Lombardi
Rorke's Drift
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), screaming, ranting, raging.............. just whatever gets it all out, is what heals us. That and realizing that what other people do to us, or how they judge us, does not determine our value or who we are.