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Post by megan11 on Dec 18, 2007 18:20:48 GMT -5
Ok, i have a question. Did YOU find the videos you are questioning about OR did HE TELL YOU about what he was looking at? I have been in a similar situation with my H but i found the material. When i questioned him if "Is THAT what you like? ?" I got the answer of him yelling at me "well I guess it DID THE JOB!" See i found the stuff and after he was scared he got mad. I would think that if your H is telling you about his "adventures" he is being honest, so whatever answer you get out of him "if he wanted that" is the truth as well. I could be wrong but it seems to be the recovery plan for most. My H admitted to me the other night that he is scared because when he thinks about all he used to do, he cant honestly say that if he had the chance to cheat with a woman, he cant say he wouldnt have. That realization scares him, thats how deep he was. The P pics and Videos were getting old and starting to not cut it anymore for him. Ugh...I dont know. I wish you luck.
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wamu
New Member
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Post by wamu on Dec 18, 2007 18:46:38 GMT -5
ok here's my 2 cents. i don't know how everyone else feels so don't freak. i never really want to do any of the P i download. there is such a disconnect in my messed up mind but even when i have the chance to do it in real life i never want to do it that stuff. part of it is that i recognize P for just being my drug, my fix, some peeps snort some drink i watch P to get high. then when i step into the real world i just wasn't attracted to a woman that wanted to do those things w/me. hey i know that's messed up but this thing makes me a mindless slave so don't hate me. i'm going to the gym now.
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Post by MrOuch on Dec 19, 2007 7:40:43 GMT -5
Nail on the head time there IAB. Regardless of what I thought I was searching for, I found everything on the internet. There are aspects of things I used to see that had all the attraction of train wrecks and yet I felt compelled to watch. But on the same token, this was something I chose to do and bear the full brunt of the consequences for. "I wasn't looking for it" isn't an excuse. I was looking for something that was wrong. I found something even "wronger."
Did I want to do the things I saw? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But regardless of whether I wanted to mimic the action in the images, on some basic level I was attracted to it either by its sensational appeal or its erotic appeal.
MrOuch
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tw45
New Member
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Post by tw45 on Dec 19, 2007 17:32:58 GMT -5
There is also the time factor to consider. While caught up in the middle of acting out and being in that trance like state I might think I want to try those things but once the frenzy dies down and reality starts to come back I realize that I really dont want to be like that or do those things. The danger lies in the escalation of the fantasy and the postponement of reality to the point that reality no longer exists and you do something you really didnt want to do.
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Post by 1dayatatime on Dec 19, 2007 19:12:16 GMT -5
I think this question is like asking if you want to do the things you watch on regular TV. The question itself makes no sense.
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Post by mrbister on Dec 20, 2007 8:12:14 GMT -5
Obviously everyone watches for slightly different reasons. (Well, actually perhaps that isn't obvious, but let's just assume that for now). I'm not sure if anyone wants to do what they see in the videos. In some cases I'm sure they would. But here's a little something which I think - P is not a representation of the actuality of what's being done. What is shown in P is not what you see in real life. There are close-up shots etc that are not part of real sex. Then on top of the camera angle you have the lack of physical reality of the people involved. Their bodies don't look as they do in reality, you cannot smell, feel, taste, etc anything you watch. All these important aspects of reality are left out. In these cases what one enjoys watching is not something that they actually CAN experience in reality. They are chasing after something that can never be had. Experiencing what you see is not technically possible. Sure there are people who would like to know what it's like to do what they see. But they cannot ever actually experience what they see, the experience and the sight are two totally different things. In such cases where one knows that what they see isn't what it would be like in reality it may be that they do not desire to do what it is that they see. They know it isn't real. They know it's stimulation lies somewhere in what it actually is when being viewed, rather than what it would be to participate. Well, I hope you understand what I mean by this. I'm not sure how clearly I've put it. But this is just something to think about. Perhaps this is how it is for your H.
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