addicted and want to stop

[coldturkey]

I have been addicted to porn for over 16 years now. It has progressively gotten worse. I'm married and it has really cost me a lot with regards to that. Our sexual activity has declined year after year and my craving for more porn has increased significantly. I started with vhs tapes then moved to dvds and lastly the easier to get for free avi and mpeg movies off the internet. I think about it every day. It consumes me and my wife is really at the point where she will leave me.

After a while, even the videos were not enough. I started chatting and creating fantasies with women online similar to what I saw in my porn movies.

I'm trying to stop it all. It is very hard but I have been able to stay away from it for 7 days straight now. I almost had a relapse on my 4th day so I started lifting weights to quelch the desire. It actually seems to work. I would like to speak with someone professionally in my local area and would like to reach out to someone here as far as how to do that.

Thanks for any and all help.

[Big Country]

Coldturkey,

I cannot offer you much more encouragement other then the knowledge that I have been exactly where you are right now and I'm not there anymore. For me, my wife was leaving me and actually had plans to leave that night before I hit rock bottom and realized that I had to get serious about my recovery.

There are alot of resources available to you, but it will take hard work. The question that I have for you, is the pain of not changing greater than the pain of changing? I'm not asking you to answer this on an intellectual level. Addiction has nothing to do with what is rational in your mind. The question is much deeper. Are you willing to let go of the one thing that has provided you deep comfort and pleasure. The thing that lets you hold onto a fantasy that you are better than you are? this is a serious question. Addiction fills a hole in our life and it is hard to root it out and replace it with real and tangible things.

I hope you are because we are ready to help you.

[breakingfree]

Coldturkey,

Welcome to the board. Please come back often to read and post. Start a journal TODAY (in the journal forum).

so I started lifting weights to quelch the desire.

Good stuff!! I am a power lifter. When I am hurt, angry, lonely, tired, I go to the gym and slam the iron around, lift heavy, make a lot of noise, sweat my a** off. ALWAYS emerge feeling better, better about my self, HALT stuff greatly reduced. Plus, I have developed many great relationships with people in the gym.

I would like to speak with someone professionally in my local area and would like to reach out to someone here as far as how to do that

.

Usually, the fastest and easiest is to contact your County Mental Health Organization. Ask for a list of SA groups in your area. They can also provide services and/or referrals to mental health professionals with addiction experience in your area.

If you have trouble finding the above resources, PM me and I will help.

Once again, welcome to the board. USE this board. It is an invaluable resource, BUT ONLY IF YOU USE IT.

Thanks for joining us.

bf

[coldturkey]

Thanks for you response Big Country.

I was in denial for a very long time. I have very high motivation to regain control and replace those urges with more positive mental stimulations. I do know that the temptations will always be there but I'm trying to recognize what turns me to wanting to masturbate and watch porn.
The masturbation is hard to deal with at times. It was such a habit that if I got an erection, the cycle begins. What are some ways that you deal with that?

Thanks again!

[kyle]

Coldturkey,

To start things off I want to say this. Like all my other initial posts, the words here are completely heartfelt. I have written several to new folks and I have the same intent behind each of them, but it is sometimes hard for me to get the words right. I have made this one that I send to the newcomers and want you to know that I mean everything written. I think John has a similar thing and I agree with him that These are sincere words to you and each new person here.

I first want to welcome you to the first day of your new life. I, and many others, will tell you that you have taken a HUGE first step in your goal of recovery. You have opened yourself up and allowed others to see and for many, that is the Hardest part of all. Truly admitting that you have a problem is big in starting your recovery.

I am glad that you have chosen to seek out help. I waited much too long, 20+ years, and it nearly destroyed my family. Congratulations on seeing this as a problem and taking the appropriate steps to break free.

As for me, I follow God. I know others here do not have the same beliefs as I, and they will be sharing with you as well. I follow my faith very closely now and have grown a lot because of that. I have begun a free on line course at www.settingcaptivesfree.com called the way of purity. This is a biblically based course that I have found extremely helpful with my recovery. there are several of us on this forum who I have seen are committed to this course and have been helped by it.

Secondly, there are several book that are very good reading and have excellent advise to follow. I am currently reading The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott . I have a couple more waiting in the wings to read; Facing your Giants by Max Lucado and a couple that are also marriage related. The seven principles for making Marriage work by John Gottman and The war Within by Robert Daniel. I have found these very helpful so far and look forward to picking up th next book to continue in the right direction.

Third I would suggest coming here often. I come here daily and read what others are going through and it helps me to see where I was, where I am and most importantly, where I am going. Focus is a key and maintaining that focus will carry me through.

Again I welcome you and wish you great successes in your recovery from this horrible sin that has plagued our lives.

God bless you and yours. Keep the faith my Brother,

[sylandad]

Journaling and talking to others helps me.......I am in my first month. I have to look to my higher power and pray frequently.

One day at a time!

David D