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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 13, 2007 10:34:10 GMT -5
I am here if you would like to discuss this, your possible addiction.
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Post by minime on Dec 13, 2007 10:39:00 GMT -5
Ok, I guess I might have a problem. I do things I don't like. I rationalize it because I'm a virgin and I'm discovering my sexuality but I'd still rather not do them
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 13, 2007 10:46:07 GMT -5
Than stop them. If they go against your values, these actions, stop doing them. Doing them does not equal "addiction". It's the stopping. If you can't stop them on your own, reach out & get real help. Okay. You have reached out. Good job. Now learn! Learning about this can help you in more ways thanyou realize. SA affects more than our groin areas. It affects our minds, our lives, the lives of those in our lives... so many things. Seriously, though I think these sites & book can be a huge help for you. www.sexhelp.com/I took the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) and it was very helpful for me. www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Sex/sexual_addiction/partners.aspwww.recoverynation.com/* One note of caution about this site: It makes lots of noises & sounds when you navigate through it. www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm"Don't Call It Love" by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass and Jean Coppock Staeheli * A member here with an amazing book list of her own recently recommended this. I read it several months ago but not fully. But what I did get from it was helpful & the recent recommendation of it has stirred my interest again. I found mine at my local library. You may have it available to you at yours. |
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 13, 2007 10:47:12 GMT -5
Regarding you virginity, I think that is an awesome example of insight WRT your rationalizing this behavior.
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Post by minime on Dec 13, 2007 10:50:05 GMT -5
I guess its because I don't relate the stories in the board that I don't feel I have a problem even though I guess I do. its not at all emotional for me, I'm not trying to escape the world. It hasn't interfered with my daily life but I guess I'm here because I don't want it to turn into something greater.
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 13, 2007 11:05:41 GMT -5
That maybe true. But don't be surprised if you come to see it does have an emotional aspect and/or basis.
[trigger]My H for years was convinced he was just partaking in his "right as a man". He now admits he used to MB before exams in college so he could relax. And when he couldn't & would fail the exam, he blamed the lack of MB for the failure. He used it as a stress reliever.
He used it like a sleeping pill.
He used P in place of real relationships, too. P doesn't require the emotions needed in real relationships. P was his girlfriend for many years, even while in romantic relationships & this marriage.
He used it to feel better about himself.
He eventually used it to escape the life he felt he was trapped in, our marriage.
I am not into P, per say, but I cannot & will not deny my forms of a/o logically had an emotional attachment to them. Especially now that the urges are returning while I am under more stress than ever. I know realize that my once, long held believe that the abuses I suffered in my youth "didn't have an affect on me" was a lie & huge denial of fact. Oh hell yeah they affected me! Normal people don't do the things I have done! They're not healthy things at all. [/trigger]
I came to realize I did have a problem with SA while I was researching & learning about my H's SA.
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Post by minime on Dec 13, 2007 11:17:26 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing. The only mental factor I can think of is that my behavior lets me do things I wouldn't do in my real life being that I want to be a virgin until I'm married, so its my chance to explore without exploring. But for me right now I feel it comes down to physical urge and boredom, I do feel it becoming something more ever since I've found a particular site I go on there more often than I would usually look up P and its not at a time I'm particularly bored or couldn't find something else to do. So I guess I feel that there is a start of a problem.
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 13, 2007 11:32:48 GMT -5
It may be. I think it's great that you see this about yourself, now, though. Catching it in the early stages, if this is what you are dealing with, can be a huge help!
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