Recovering for a year

[yoyoyo222]

Hello everyone.
I am back again - for how long I do not know.
I realize I have come to this board a year ago - June 20th - of course it's a little over now.

This year has been rough - it has had it's great moments - and it's worst. In the grand scheme of tragedy and accidents I can say luckily but unfortunately P has been the reason for the worst moments.

Still as always an addict. I had a really good clean run for almost a half a year. Starting from August ending in almost January - or very early January - I honestly forget. I've had many other month long runs.

The past month - The month of June - Coming home from school and being home everyday was very detramental to my development. I failed on several occasions - all though not everyday.

I started to realize my summer could not go on like this.
I got myself a job - and now am on a strict routine which I enjoy very much - I get up a quarter to seven and am in bed at eleven. I never use P on this computer (My computer) anymore because I use CE - which keeps me clean - but my dad's computer is a big temptation - now I just dont even go near it anymore. Anyway - I used to go to church everyday in the City - but now I can no longer at home - Either way - I have drifted from God - and that for me is exactly when things got bad. Last week I tuned into the radio and heard God speak to me through the Christian AM station which addressed exactly what I was fealing and dealing with - with my "trouble"

I always remember the inspiring post I read sometime last year - If your recovery plan fails - do something COMPLETELY drastic - change everything - do something big was the point basically.

Being home I realized I had to do something big.
So I made up this routine. I read from the Bible a few times daily - I try to keep daily prayer time up - I try to be around other family members constantly and I limit my internet usage time signifigantly. I do not stay up past 11 - 11:30 latest. Unless of couse while with a friend. I cannot trust myself- or want to give myself the opporunity.

I am still dealing with core issues of course - But I believe this year I have been doing a pretty good job. I dont feel anywhere as miserable as I did last year. I know that God loves and forgives - I actually believe it now too. I have been sober for more than 4 days - but I just wanted to start and make a fresh week and fresh start from Monday. My new Sobriety date will be 6/27. If I can last until mid-august I am sure I will be fine when I return to school.

Thanks for all of you who have helped me on my journey so far - and that may in the future - thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Peter]

Hey Yoyo,

I just wanted to say that it's great to see you again, and it's great that you are still pressing on in your recovery efforts.

I can appreciate how you are feeling right now, as it's been a bit a tough year for me too. Right now has been a pretty bad day actually, and I've had a number of disappointments hit me hard recently. I'm trying to work on embracing the pain and dealing with it in legitimate ways. It hasn't been easy for me today.

Thanks for sharing where you are at these days, and I hope you can stick around for awhile.

Peter

[John (computerguy)]

It sounds like your mind is in a decent place, yoyo. Be sure not to let your new routines become just an empty routine (legalistic). Pace yourself.

Good to hear from you...
cg

[paradox]

YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO!!!!!!

Great to hear from you!!

Dispite your recent struggles (which, as I remember are usually a part of your going home) it sounds like you continue to make progress.

I hit a bit of a rough patch myself recently. Relapsed after over a year sober. Was a real bummer but I'm getting back into the swing of sobriety.

I'm glad that you have hooked back up with us. Keep in touch over the summer and we'll help you get to that late-August goal.

Peace, my brother!