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Post by MrOuch on Dec 14, 2007 13:32:53 GMT -5
Crazy weekend ahead. Lots of activities in different directions all weekend. Fortunately I'm feeling pretty strong at the moment. No inclinations towards P. No leanings toward MB. Just a mountain of tasks and taxi-ing to do. Wish me luck. Taking a deep breath now and going in. See you on the other side.
MrOuch
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Post by witness on Dec 18, 2007 5:14:08 GMT -5
Sounds like you are still focused.
God bless you in the walk to freedom!
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Post by larus on Dec 18, 2007 5:49:52 GMT -5
MrOuch, just dropping by to say hi and to ask how the hectic weekend went. larus
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Post by rockwell on Dec 18, 2007 10:36:12 GMT -5
Mr. Ouch. Always a pleasure to stop by your journal. I hope your crazy schedule calms down soon. Take care..
rock
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Post by eljefemaz on Dec 18, 2007 10:57:05 GMT -5
Good morning, 'Ouch:
I hope you have been able to exhale by now.
-EJ
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Post by MrOuch on Dec 18, 2007 14:27:21 GMT -5
Phew!! That's me exhaling long enough to grab another breath. Been very busy with the holidays approaching and a very crazy work schedule for the next few weeks. End of the year is always busy. Just don't have enough time to devote to this site and visit all the journals I would like to.
Clean weekend, though I was strongly tempted. "Avoiding the near occasion of sin" was something that tried to sneak up on me. Just need to get through the next few days and my life will slow down somewhat until the new year. Still P and MB free though...and staying that way!!
MrOuch
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Post by rockwell on Dec 18, 2007 14:34:50 GMT -5
Great for you Ouch. With all these men relapsing around me, we need a good strong role model. And YOU DA MAN! Stick with it.
rock
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Post by MrOuch on Dec 18, 2007 22:44:56 GMT -5
Just thinking today:
I didn't really realize the extent that porn had come to pervade my life until I made a real effort at eliminating it. I didn't consider myself a porn addict. Porn was just there and I could use it or not as I saw fit. My wife was the one with the problem. She couldn't accept the fact that women were willing to do it. People were eagerly producing, marketing and distributing it. Porn was a legitimate business. There was nothing illegal about it, maybe just a little immoral, but nobody was getting hurt by it. Right?
I have come to realize that this is the big lie of porn. It passes itself off as a legitimate enterprise, when in fact it is a cancer on society. It teaches us men that our needs come first above all else. It teaches us that if it feels good, do it. It teaches us to view women as sources of pleasure. It teaches us that it's our right to be self-focused and self-centered. It tells us it's okay to download porn late at night and satisfy ourselves. It teaches us to lie to those we love.
Many times in the past I decided that I would give up porn for REAL this time. This would be it. I was done. I wasn't coming back for it ever again. I made it too. I made it about 30 days clean and then I relapsed--viewing porn, MB, the whole nine yards. That's when I realized how difficult this thing was to give up. Porn wasn't just something that I could give up so easily. In a certain sense it had become part of me.
No matter how much I professed that porn was only a tool that I used occasionally, I could no longer deny its hold on me. When this hit me, the blame-shifting stopped. I took full responsibility for my life and I was FINALLY able to move on.
MrOuch
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Post by eljefemaz on Dec 19, 2007 10:47:30 GMT -5
Interesting thoughts you have had today. Truly, the P industry is cancer that hurts all who it touches. I can take that a step further say P is something God hates, because it promotes acts and attitudes that are contrary to how He wants us humans to behave. So, if you have a religious slant to your recovery, that is nice 1-2 punch on why P should not be in your life.
On of my keys has been to remember that God does hate it, to not let old Greenie's demands drown out the reasons why he should smacked back into submission. 50 days sober as of yesterday, and I am working to make sure today is day 51.
-EJ
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Post by MrOuch on Dec 19, 2007 14:03:56 GMT -5
Did I write that? Sakes alive! Who'd a thunk I cudda lernt so much?
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Post by witness on Dec 19, 2007 14:27:33 GMT -5
You are so right that P is worse than we think it is and it's grip on us was much worse than we were willing to admit.
Great to see you focused on a new life!
Blessings this holiday season!
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Post by eljefemaz on Dec 20, 2007 13:41:06 GMT -5
Look at you getting all sagely
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Post by MrOuch on Dec 21, 2007 10:41:46 GMT -5
"So long and thanks for the fish." I'm moving my journaling to the new board at: npsupport.net/community/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=98See you there. MrOuch [edit] Hey, what do you know. I can still post here even though the board is dead!! Just stopping by on 7/24/08 to check and make sure the old journal is still here...it is. Not much to going on here. It's kind of like being in the library after hours. The new board is so much more interesting. Come vist if you have the time. Be well all, MrOuch
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