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Post by hugs4u002 on Dec 15, 2007 11:38:58 GMT -5
o.k., i just found out something new and it isn't a total surprise but I was wondering if anyone wants to share the things they have found out in terms of computer stuff they know because a lot of ladies here don't know computer things....so what did I find out? Limewire! no porn has been showing up on the history bar, but Limewire is on his desktop, I had no idea that is used to download and share porn duh! Is this what is referred to as p2p file sharing? Can anyone tell me how I can find out what he has been using it for? His 'library' only had a couple of songs in it....
other things I have found out. p/a's have many email accts. their primary acct is rarely used to make contact with other women...google has a web history feature but beware , single websights can be deleted from the history feature without erasing the entire history. Yahoo messenger, aol messenger and msn messenger are the most popular im services, your s/o may have accts on all three and they use them to m/b while sexually chatting, if it weren't triggering I would post one of the conversations for you so you can see that it is not 'better' than looking at porn! plus, they send naked pics to each other....if you have never see one of these conversations, pm me and I will send you one my s/o had, you will be stunned what takes place! Youtube and facebook and myspace are popular places to objectify and mb, if they show up in the history there is probably a reason. there are sights like adultfriendfinders that hook people up just to have sex and they have very pornographic profiles. Webcams are used for sex with strangers!
What have you found out???
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Post by saddkatt on Dec 15, 2007 12:52:33 GMT -5
My guy has a Mac, so things are a little different. On his version of OSX there is no archive in Yahoo messenger. He has Limewire and bittorrent. He has multiple hard drives in his computer that he hides things in. He has at least three email accounts that I know of. In the hard drives in his computer, and the two more that are stacked on top of the shelves, I would estimate that there are at least half a million pics stored somewhere in this room that I'm in right now. Not quite so many videos, but enough. Sometimes he remembers to delete his history, sometimes he doesn't. He is not aware that I sometimes look. When he downloads files, there are dates & times attached to the picture files, so I know when and how many and how often. He has an old girlfriend from high school that found him through myspace, and he emails her from one of his secret accounts. I found the erotic pics of her three years ago.
I'm getting better at not looking. It upsets me. Makes me paranoid and panicky. And it doesn't do any good.
I waver back and forth between working on myself and not giving much energy toward his (unacknowledged) problem, and having this horrible, horrible urge to wait for a big old shoe to drop so that I have an excuse to take a hammer to his computer and throw his belongings on the lawn. Codependent to the hilt, that's me! Yeah, I've got plenty of my own issues...
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Post by weepingwillow on Dec 15, 2007 15:00:26 GMT -5
Jeez...For my husband,the computer and wasting secret money on it is a HUGE problem as well. Seems like a lot of the Pa's are also computer geeks. So in addition to the programs and websites you mentioned: IRC....This was were my h got most of his crap. Don't have IRC installed on your comp? They can use it through a web browser too. Think your h is just playing the sims? Nope...you can download a hack that makes the normal game have P*rn simulations in it. Craigslist,it has personals on it,where sickos post pics of their own genitals(though haha,my h didn't even know that 1! Besides why would he want pics when he has movies?(*I just threw up in my mouth a little*  ) Don't forget yahoo images and google images. Also there are websites that have rather innocent names,but that host p*rn downloads. Oh,and my h had linux as well as windows. There were secret folders that wouldn't show up in windows only in linux,or they'd appear empty in windows,but really have thousands of videos in them when viewed through linux. My H also payed for shell/unix accounts that would keep him on irc,w/out the comp or anything being on,so he could get files(  ) This one is actually kind of funny: My h used one of 3 user names for most things,which I then searched through google,finding other things he hadn't mentioned(though only one was P*rn related and I'm pissed because the site is not in English,and I can't find a translation site that will translate it due to it's nature.Plus my h's native language is not one of the most used like Spanish) I posted this about a GREAT FREE blocking website: lightwave.proboards48.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=Partners&thread=1196914801&page=1#1196914801I know I'm forgetting SOMETHING,So I'll probably add to this later. If any of you need help setting up some of these things to block your h's,let me know....The funny thing is,my h is trying so hard to prove he wants to change,he's teaching me how to block him from everything. So I've learned a LOT. Then I check up to see if he's telling the truth,and he is. If you have more then one comp in your house,and use a router,you can also only block his comp from going to sites,or using programs like irc or limewire. As far as limewire goes,they can clear everything from the downloads and library and move it to other folders. If you must keep limewire,you can change the filter settings. In all honesty the best thing to do though,is set up a bios password(yes,you'll have to put it in 4 them,if they don't like it? sucks to be them!),and then set them up a guest account where they can't add/remove programs. Also use a service like opendns. |
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Post by hugs4u002 on Dec 15, 2007 15:13:14 GMT -5
what are shell/unix accounts and how do you find out if they have them? where do you look for them? What is the best way to find hidden folders? and what is opendns? I have searched google before with his user name and found nothing, can you add tags to make the search better? Thank you weeping willow, maybe we all will become as computer savvy as they are in the end :-)
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Post by diedre on Dec 15, 2007 16:09:11 GMT -5
I became addicted to searching for P on the computer. I always found it. So why keep looking? Stop! It will only make you crazy. Get rid of the computer and tv and they will go to adult "arcades." My SO would wait until I was asleep and sneak out. He'd come back and sleep on the couch - just for a change. You don't have to keep looking for all this stuff. You know its there.
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Post by weepingwillow on Dec 15, 2007 22:51:24 GMT -5
I will give a warning before I tell you all this.... You can go CRAZY searching for things!! I know I did. I've only known for 3 weeks,and I have checked,searched and rechecked again. Before losing my sanity,I decided there was no where else to look,and have stopped. Although,I still question him constantly and wish I was hearing the word no..more then the word yes. My H is selling his computer(which is AMAZING) He is only allowed to use mine,while I'm in the room. Open Dns is a FREE service through the internet,where you can block adult content,websites,servers and also see every website that anyone who uses the pc goes to. opendns.com. There are other services out there,but most are costly. Shell accounts are user environments that are leased/rented or bought from sellers of server space. Unix is just the parent environment that a "shell" runs in. "Shells" are also under windows, it is just a word for a user or even program environment to function/run in. The only really reliable ways to find out if a person is using this sort of service, is to just look at bank/paypal/any other sort of pay out service statement each month. And to question any and every withdrawal that you're not sure of. If a person is a heavy user of IRC, then they may or may not have a irc unix/linux shell, from which one can either run a "bounce/proxy" or even an IRC server. But most people are not computer savvy enough for anything like that. For me,If my husband hadn't been blocking me from seeing our bank account for the last year and a 1/2,I would have seen these unix accounts and been like "WTF?" To look for hidden folders,Open up a drive,or folder. Go to 'tools' 'folder options' 'view' mark "show hidden files and folders' click apply. Hopefully this is helpful,and I hope everyone gets some kind of net filter. |
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Post by lee1234 on Dec 16, 2007 22:36:50 GMT -5
Will K9 web protection protect against file sharing programs? I'm guessing no. My PAH used that ALOT- Limewire are uTorrent. I found things downloading that he blamed on a virus. Yeah, right. So how'd the same (expletive) get on CD's in his room? I have K9 on own home computer and on his company laptop. I'm not sure I am protected against file sharing though... great. Another reason not to trust him...
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Post by lee1234 on Dec 16, 2007 22:42:18 GMT -5
I just went to their online support and answered my own question. It does not block those programs. Grrr.... Now I have a legitimate reason to doubt his sobriety if he's left alone with a PC. I guess that just means if he slips and I catch him again, our mariage will be over. He knows he has absolutely no more chances... it's all in his hands.
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Post by dazednconfused on Dec 16, 2007 23:02:37 GMT -5
lee-
yes k9 blocks file sharing, like MP3, Itunes, etc... Now, the funny thing is, it doesn't say "blocked" it just says "unable to find sources" YOU have to chooice it to block P2P in the filter though
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Post by realthing on Dec 17, 2007 19:40:56 GMT -5
lol - thought immediately that u were talking about a raincoat( to be used for flashing). can't believe that is wot popped into my head - a reflection of wot we are dealing with.
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Post by weepingwillow on Dec 19, 2007 22:20:22 GMT -5
... it's all in his hands. Lol...For the 1st time something besides their own ***** will be in there hands...Sorry,but I couldn't resist,it felt good to laugh! But yes,I agree with you,it's their choice...I don't want to have to be a baby sitter for my whole life...Maybe for now,while it's in the 1st stages...but I'm in my early 20's and I'm not down for a lifetime of worry,and torment.. Anyways..I thought of something I forgot to add....I just feel like no,we shouldn't go insane looking,but we have the right to know where/how to look. If you have an MP3 player,Ipod,usb flash drive/thumb drive(Usually small,and on a cord so it can be used as a necklace)even a memory card for a camera can store p*rn on it. They won't be able to view it through these places(except maybe a video ipod) but they will be able to store it,and hide it easily. Then connect it to the computer. |
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Post by spittingnails on Dec 20, 2007 16:58:12 GMT -5
If you have an MP3 player,Ipod,usb flash drive/thumb drive(Usually small,and on a cord so it can be used as a necklace)even a memory card for a camera can store p*rn on it. They won't be able to view it through these places(except maybe a video ipod) but they will be able to store it,and hide it easily. Then connect it to the computer. My H tried using his usb drive. I found out by going through the temporary internet files & then into the "my recent documents" folder. There were files I didn't recognize, one of them being titled "Tool Stuff" (jeeze...how freekin' obvious). When I tried to open it I was instructed to insert disk into Drive E and knew something was up. Found the usb drive and sure enough, he had saved pics & power points that guys had emailed to him. Thought he was in a safe zone since he was using the usb....oh, no internet history to find. As for Limewire, there are at least some files that, when accessed, will for some reason show up under the temp internet folder but as something random. To test my theory, a while back I accessed one of his videos he had downloaded from limewire which he then had moved into his windows media library. I noted the time I played it and then went into the temp internet folder. What showed there was a visit to Walmart.com. I thought that couldn't be right so accessed same video 3 more times and each time it showed up as Walmart.com under temp internet (along with other sites each time as well, pattern always the same, but the names of those didn't stick in my head). Now when I get my weekly report I keep an eye out for Walmart. haha |
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Post by ellen38 on Dec 20, 2007 17:09:32 GMT -5
what does IRC stand for? what is it?
I have also heard to block download.com, because this is where they can add new software that can go around filters and blocks.
wow weepingwillow, you are a valuable resource.
ellen
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