Post by completelydone on Dec 12, 2007 21:15:49 GMT -5
Please post your poems here, or make some up to post here. I find it very theraputic to express my emotions through poems. Here are some old ones:
HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU STEP OUT ON ME?
By Me- completelydone
How many times did you step out on me? Ten, twenty, fifty?
Is it more? Is it less? Do I look like a mess?
They were tall? They were thin?
In your mind did you feel you fit in?
I was here. Open to you.
What else could I do?
You were my heart and my soul.
I am fear and I’m cold.
My heart has died.
So many tears I have cried.
I try so hard to forgive, to understand,
And to live.
My life is gone.
My mind destroyed.
I hate who I am.
Who is this strange man?
The struggle, the fight
I would rather flee in my fright.
The paralyzing fear from
The man I held dear.
My darling, my man
You took my hand
And promised to wed
To forsake all else as if dead.
A lie! All a lie!
God please let me die!
I can’t stay! I can’t leave!
Someone please? I’m bereaved!
I am dead, I am gone.
Where did things go so wrong?
I’m broken and crushed
Love cannot be rushed.
Love, love, what is that?
Now it doesn't means jack.
I can do this no more.
Please, where is the door?
No more “sex”, no more lies
No more wiping my eyes.
No more gut wrenching pain
I will not play your game.
It was just in your mind?
I will leave you far behind.
It was real enough to me
Now you let me be.
I don’t belong to you.
There is nothing you can do
You can’t say if I stay or I go
I will not be below
your dumb whores
you dumb man
now let go of my hand.
My love was so full.
You are nothing but a fool.
Was it worth it to peek at some porn
On the street?
Now you can live in your own self defeat.
But why can’t I see
That now you love me?
It is too late, too far gone
Like my self worth and warmth
Who am I to you?
I need to find something else to do.
I see my worth to you is gone
To seek someone else with no arms;
Just breasts, buns, and hips
There’s nothing wrong with my tits!
And my arms were still strong to
Love you every night long.
Three babies we have.
You were supposed to be Dad;
Not some whore mongerer,
A liar, and a perv.
It boils down to this.
You cheated. I’m “dissed.”
Disrespected if you please.
I think I must leave
to hold onto my pride.
When I became your bride,
I thought you had nothing to hide.
But now I’m nothing to you,
I’m done. I am through.
HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU STEP OUT ON ME?
By Me- completelydone
How many times did you step out on me? Ten, twenty, fifty?
Is it more? Is it less? Do I look like a mess?
They were tall? They were thin?
In your mind did you feel you fit in?
I was here. Open to you.
What else could I do?
You were my heart and my soul.
I am fear and I’m cold.
My heart has died.
So many tears I have cried.
I try so hard to forgive, to understand,
And to live.
My life is gone.
My mind destroyed.
I hate who I am.
Who is this strange man?
The struggle, the fight
I would rather flee in my fright.
The paralyzing fear from
The man I held dear.
My darling, my man
You took my hand
And promised to wed
To forsake all else as if dead.
A lie! All a lie!
God please let me die!
I can’t stay! I can’t leave!
Someone please? I’m bereaved!
I am dead, I am gone.
Where did things go so wrong?
I’m broken and crushed
Love cannot be rushed.
Love, love, what is that?
Now it doesn't means jack.
I can do this no more.
Please, where is the door?
No more “sex”, no more lies
No more wiping my eyes.
No more gut wrenching pain
I will not play your game.
It was just in your mind?
I will leave you far behind.
It was real enough to me
Now you let me be.
I don’t belong to you.
There is nothing you can do
You can’t say if I stay or I go
I will not be below
your dumb whores
you dumb man
now let go of my hand.
My love was so full.
You are nothing but a fool.
Was it worth it to peek at some porn
On the street?
Now you can live in your own self defeat.
But why can’t I see
That now you love me?
It is too late, too far gone
Like my self worth and warmth
Who am I to you?
I need to find something else to do.
I see my worth to you is gone
To seek someone else with no arms;
Just breasts, buns, and hips
There’s nothing wrong with my tits!
And my arms were still strong to
Love you every night long.
Three babies we have.
You were supposed to be Dad;
Not some whore mongerer,
A liar, and a perv.
It boils down to this.
You cheated. I’m “dissed.”
Disrespected if you please.
I think I must leave
to hold onto my pride.
When I became your bride,
I thought you had nothing to hide.
But now I’m nothing to you,
I’m done. I am through.
What's up with that? Denial, I guess. I've never witnessed my h do or say anything other the p doo spew, or it's been so long, I can hardly remember. But if he stops, he stops everyday, then he goes again. It's stop n go, go and stop, stop and go, etc.. huh? Sometimes it looks like hypnoisis from here to me. And it's like they play the same hypnoitist's scripts and react according to pre-programing all the way down to how not to never stop by lying, and calling not stopping, stopping, somehow. I just really don't get that part yet. I think it's going to be up to the guys to define that element, and they need to dig deep into the roots and the origins of that thinking pattern imo and eradicate it in all it's many forms. I think if it stays in us, in any way shape or form, it's a threat to recovery, so it's important to understand it thoroughly. Why did we think that? Whats wrong with it? Where did it originate? How have we feed it? What's a better script? But when it comes down to what one was thinking while they continued, I think they aren't thinking at all, or are thinking about doing those girls, and that's it. They can't think from a p haze evidently, not about important matters anyway, not any more than we can think straight in our worst triggered states. The key is to start thinking eventually, and to start behaving more in line with what we really think, after putting careful thought and consideration into all the elements of our lives, and relationships, and making some none "automatic" decisions.